Connect, Never Communicate

Did you know that you've been told false information?

Leaders are trained, the few that are, to communicate effectively with their team. They're told to practice a set amount of skills that increase their ability to communicate.

I have a degree in Communication and I can tell you one simple truth: Communication should never be the focus of Leadership.

As a Leadership coach, I teach Intentional Leadership. That is achieving results by eliminating luck, chance and assumptions.

Communication is all three. It relies, at least in part, on the receiver's mood and mindset during the communication process.

For instance, an employee who's having a bad day will receive information starkly differently than an employee who's walking on sunshine.

And as much as you want to communicate effectively, you can't possibly succeed without relying on assumptions and luck that your message was received exactly as you intended.

This is why as a leader you can't afford to simply communicate, you must connect. It's connecting that gives you the highest value in leadership.

So what exactly do I mean by connecting and how can you do it? In this article, I'll be sharing with you three simple steps to stop communicating and start connecting.

Connecting is the intentional decision to reach a deeper level of relationships with your team and increase your influence with them. Your success as a leader depends solely on your influence with your team.

And bonus tip, individuals who know how to connect make more money, get better jobs, attain higher promotions and have deeper relationships with family and friends.

So how exactly can you learn to connect with your team?

Be Intentional:

Heads-up, if you expect this to come easy, I have bad news. Connecting requires energy and intentionality. Without both, you will get nowhere.

Leaders express to expect. Intentional leaders put in what they expect to get back. You can't depend on hope or worse take shots in the dark.

Select members of your team that want to connect with. Schedule times to meet them one-on-one and in groups. Make time to know them in their natural environment. Find out what matters most to them and acknowledge it.

The first rule of connecting is: Be Intentional. Don't assume anything.

If they do a particularly good job, find specific points you loved and appreciated them for it. Compliment their hard work publicly and privately.

Find out what their struggles are and intentionally work with them on developing solutions. Make it clear through your actions that you are serious about connecting and they'll connect right back.

Find common ground:

Each member of your team comes from a different background. They have not only different life experiences but different thought processes.

Yet even among polar opposites, there's common ground. As a leader, you need to be Intentional about finding out what's common between you and your team.

We connect with people who have things in common with us. That's basic human psychology. We love community and nothing says community better than shared interests.

Keep it simple:

Have you ever heard someone speaking and intentionally using big words? Words that force you to mentally stop and try to understand?

I have, and I hate it. You can't hope to connect if you don't keep things simple. Trying to sound smart with fancy words only makes you uninteresting and boring.

Connecting requires you to make the Intentional action of keeping things simple. It requires you to explain your thoughts, suggestions and questions in simple terms.

If you talk over people's heads, they'll never listen. But, if you make it simple, they'll follow.

Conclusion

One of my favorite leaders is Jesus. He is intentional about connecting with everyone who follows Him. He desires to know your struggles, victories, trauma and scars. And He intentionally heals and protects those who choose to follow Him.

That's exactly the kind of Leader we should all aspire to be.

Thank you for reading. Please share and subscribe.

See you all next time.