Connect, Then Correct: A Compassionate Approach to Supporting Aging Parents
Janice Goldmintz
I support professionals and executives caring for aging parents. I help navigate challenges and enable corporations to boost employee well-being and productivity, reducing absenteeism and saving costs.
The phrase “connect, then correct” is often used in customer service to emphasize the importance of establishing empathy before offering solutions. This principle is equally powerful when applied to relationships with aging parents facing challenges.
As adult children, it’s natural to want to help your parents when you see them struggling. Whether it’s a health issue, a financial concern, or resistance to change, the instinct to fix the problem often takes over. But rushing to offer solutions without first building connection can lead to resistance, frustration, or even conflict.
Imagine this: your aging parent insists they don’t need help managing their medications, even though you’ve seen missed doses. Your first reaction might be to explain why a pill organizer or reminder app is essential. However, without understanding their perspective, your advice could come across as controlling or dismissive.
Instead, start with connection. Ask questions and truly listen to their concerns. “How do you feel about keeping track of your medications?” or “What’s been working for you so far?” These open-ended questions show respect for their autonomy and acknowledge their lived experience.
Once your parent feels heard and understood, they’re more likely to be open to suggestions. For instance, after listening, you might say, “I can see why you’d want to keep things simple. Would it help if we looked at some tools together that might make it even easier?”
领英推荐
The “connect, then correct” approach fosters trust, strengthens relationships, and ensures your parent feels respected, not lectured. It shifts the dynamic from one of authority to collaboration, making it easier to navigate sensitive topics.
This method isn’t just effective for resolving challenges—it enhances your bond with your aging parent. By leading with empathy and connection, you create an atmosphere where solutions feel like shared decisions, not directives. And in the process, you honor their dignity while deepening your relationship.
In caregiving, as in life, connection always comes first.
The Future is Voice. | CEO @ Senior AI | Empowering Independence and Enhancing Care for Older Adults.
3 个月Yes, we learned the importance of connection in the Empowered to Connect training from TCU. This training helps foster parents learn to approach parenting with a connection-first mindset. In truth, the strategies taught in this training would likely benefit any parent or give, but in this case you may be trying to connect with an aging parent that taught you to primarily relate in other ways. Caring for aging parents who may not have prioritized connection in their own parenting is a challenge. It may seem like we often have opportunities to break generational patterns, but doing so is not easy.