Confronting our Demons To Be the Changemakers We Are Meant To Be

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On the 27th of September, I joined the former Rector of UIN Sunan Kalijaga Yogyakarta, Prof. Al Makin, to explore interreligious relations post-Pope Francis's Visit. I was inspired by how Indonesia confronted the demon of extremism by rising as a leader in interreligious dialogue. Prof. Al Makin, went further and said more work is actually needed. Essentially, what I interpreted from his talk is: we all need to confront our own demons. If we continue to think of ourselves as better than others and do not know how to be friends, there can be no shared future. But confronting our demons is never easy. In my talk with the graduating class of my alma mater, I had to confront my demon. Essentially, there are three essential rules to doing so:

1.Recognize that each one of us will have our demons

2.Being aware of such demons then helps to keep them at bay

3.Exorcise those demons by changing ourselves and work for change in others.

In my talk at UIN, I mentioned that Indonesia has come a long way in fighting extremism and emerging as a regional leader for interreligious dialogue. Personally, my experience in Indonesia inspired my own journey.

Then, in my talk to the graduating class at Assumption English School, I had to revisit a dark episode in my teenage years. It was a painful lesson, but it helped me immensely. I hope you will find these talks helpful to your process.

1. Indonesia’s Model for Interreligious Dialogue - a post-Pope Francis Visit Review

First of all, thank you Prof. Al Makin, to all the faculty members of this esteemed university, and dearest friends it is an honour to be here among you.

I recall with fond memory that the President of the Focolare Movement, a global movement for dialogue and unity, Margaret Karram was here just last year, and so today too, the Focolare Community of Jogjakarta is present, we are gathered together in this esteemed institution for dialogue, but this time with a different flavor, one that considers Indonesia’s unique role, or as I like to provoke a thoughtful conversation on why we need Indonesia’s global leadership in interreligious dialogue in a troubled world.

First, I would like to start with my own experience and how I benefited from Indonesia’s leadership in this field. Almost 20 years ago, the Focolare movement sent me to Ambon to join a regional conference of youth leaders, organized by Religions for Peace. I came from a safe environment like Singapore, where we can take our interreligious harmony for granted. And why Ambon? Because Ambon was affected by religious conflict between Christians and Muslims, and to learn from them how they took steps to overcome it and rebuild harmony.?

It was painful to hear how young people led the violence against each other but then how inspiring that it was some young people and senior religious leaders who were brave enough to be changemakers, to work for dialogue, and to rebuild communities. This experience changed my life; it showed me another side of interreligious dialogue, that it is not just talk but critical, painstaking work that needs to change the world for good. I said yes to this new vocation to serve in interreligious dialogue. More importantly, my Indonesian friends, Muslims and Christians, inspired me with their actions. They had the audacity to take action and believed that dialogue, not violence, would win the day.

And eventually, when I served as the regional youth leader for Religions for peace Asia pacific, I learned more about Indonesia’s unique ability. It is how to turn tragedy into a new solution.?

This July, I was invited by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs Indonesia to the Religious Literacy conference in Jakarta, and once again I was amazed by the thought leadership of Indonesia. In Singapore, the interreligious issue is still largely a domestic affair, which is why it is managed under the Ministry of Culture Community and Youth. But in Indonesia, it is different; interreligious dialogue is under the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and it is a visionary strategy. I was surprised that the Ministry engages with religious? communities, scholars, and movements within Indonesia and then connects with interreligious programs or governments involved in such work overseas. They explained that this came about after the Bali bombing, and seeing the depth of thought was amazing. It is clear that from the tragedy, Indonesia managed to turn the lessons learned on combating extremism towards dialogue and export it to the world. So other than Indo mee, Indonesia has a new popular dish, interreligious dialogue.?

It is, therefore, not by chance that the 87-year-old Pope Francis decided to make his first stop of his most extended trip ever to Indonesia, where he signed just the 2nd joint declaration with a Muslim leader, the Grand Iman, Nasaruddin Umar. And this joint declaration is different from the one signed in Abu Dhabi, the earlier one was also shared humanity

The Istiqlal declaration is a fitting summary of the Indonesian model for interreligious dialogue: meeting extremism head-on and overcoming violence. It almost reflected on Indonesia’s own painful experiences because blood was spilledand life was lost, and it now presents a formula forward to respect the dignity of the human person but, more importantly, to imagine new ways forward. So it was helpful to see how that ties up with care for our common home, to fight climate change,?

Building on the Istiqlal declaration and my own experience being inspired by Indonesian friends, I would like to suggest that the Indonesian way of dialogue has five characteristics and they are:

Interculturalism: In my day job in change and transformation, my first project twenty-two years ago was transforming the Singapore brand of Bengawan Solo. To do that project, because the founder, Anatasia Liew, is an Indonesian, we had to research about Indonesian culture and the meaning of batik.

I fell in love with batik and the meaning of Indonesian cakes. In short batik and Indonesian cakes is an expression of intercultualism, as it draws diverse cultural influences.Interreligious dialogue here is not first about positions but knowing and being immersed in culture and this is really important, to be able to be inclusive in the richness of intercultural dialogue. So even though people are of different religion in Indonesia, they blend in with each other.

The second is in-person encounters; the warm gesture by the Grand Imam for Pope Francis has been shared and posted widely on TikTok, Instagram and so on. It is an image that summed up Indonesia's way; it is very friendly and open. I noticed how the Grand Imam helped the Pope personally in every way, like respecting an elder Brother, and these little actions speak volumes. And again, it is what I experienced. When I met my Indonesian friends in Religions for Peace here, they always treated me as family, just like all of you here.?

Intellectual dialogue over two decades, so many universities in Indonesia have conducted research, talks and development in interreligious dialogue. Prof Al Makin quickly arranged today’s forum, and it shows how passionate Indonesian friends are on interreligious dialogue. I just spoke at a conference organised by a university in Singapore last month. I was invited by one of their partner organisations some months ago, but it took a few weeks to learn about the program. Here, Prof Al Makin and his team took 48 hours to pull this off. But it also shows your familiarity with interreligious dialogue is way more mature. I was in Geneva last month at a conference organized by Globethics; it was an institute founded 20 years ago by a Protestant Leader and now a global force in promoting ethical leadership. This time when I was there, Prof Dicky Sofian, whom many of you know, was appointed to the board of Globethics. For sure, it is in recognition of Prof. Dicky leadership, but I would argue it is in recognition of the Indonesian global brand for interreligious dialogue.?

Fourth is interfaith diplomacy. When I was in Religions for Peace, we had to help promote peace in different conflict zones through interreligious dialogue. One of the places where we tried to contribute peace was in Mindanao; at that time, the conflict between the Moro Islamic Liberation Front and the Philippine government was going on, and talks had broken down. So we had a youth peace conference there in Mindanao where MILF youth and leaders were with us. Dr. Din Samsudin led us in this mission; I saw how he patiently tried to build understanding between Catholics and Muslims. When it got heated, he knew how to calm things down and ask questions to help everyone consider carefully their positions. The conflict has gone on for too long and no one wins if it remains protracted. I witnessed how Dr Din knew he had no certainty of achieving a breakthrough; he could not give solutions, but he could try and keep everyone talking. Years later, when peace came to Mindanao, I understood how peace is won; it is not won by guns but by people who are willing to try and dialogue again, even with all the pains and hurts. And I learned that from Dr Din.

Fifth and final is an invitational culture. Indonesians are often very quick to invite you to come over and visit. There is general openness to invite someone to come over to host. This invitational culture is critical for dialogue, we have to keep inviting even if others do not believe. And every time we open our doors to more and more guests, we become more hospitable and less extreme in our views.?

This is probably why Pope Francis felt at home in Indonesia, because he too has a bit of Indonesia in him; he likes to invite people to meet and talk to him. He also likes to invite leaders organisations to come and dialogue for a better world.?

So, hopefully, this reflection on the 5 marks of the Indonesian way for dialogue, intercultural, in-person, intellectual, interfaith diplomacy, and invitational can help all of us better appreciate Indonesia's global leadership role in interfaith.?

Now that Pope Francis has returned to Rome, all of us here in Indonesia and in this region can and must work together. The movement I belong to, the Focolare movement, is here in Jogjakarta, so certainly, there is a lot we can do to promote the Indonesian formula for dialogue to the world.

Talking about invitational culture, in order to return a favor to Prof Al Makin. On my part, the company that I serve Consulus, next year in Rome, during the Great Jubilee of the Catholic Church, we will host our annual conference in Rome. It will be about dialogue in the economy where we will listen to how different religious principles are applied in the economy.

The theme of Shape the World Summit 2025 is Creative Leadership for Social Impact and Dialogue. I want to invite you all to Rome next june from 18-19 June 2025.

Together, let us walk for peace. inshallah

2. Knights in Battered Armor - ???????????????????? ???????????? ???? ???????????????????????????? ????????

Here is when I had to revisit a dark episode in my youth days and I was glad I could do it and I offer this as a gift for you too.

Mr. Vincent Toh, Principal, teachers, parents , fellow Assumptionknights, and friends, thank you for this opportunity to be here; it is a great honor.?

First of all, congratulations to the graduating class of 2024. Whatever your score, whether you are first or last in class, I want to tell you that you have all scored. Congratulations to each and every one of you!

As someone who graduated in 1994 and was almost one of the last in class, your score is not indicative of your future. It is a moment in life, whatever it is. Don't beat yourself up. Being an Assumptionknight already prepares you well for life. I mean it.

This is the closest I have come to making my teachers feel proud, and I hope I have made them proud.?

So I thought long and hard, and until the final moment, I was still editing my speech because I wish with all my heart that what I am about to share would be a gift for you.

You have heard this phrase, a knight in shining armor

In reality, you should be very worried if any knight comes in shining armour because that means the person has never fought in a real battle and is a showpiece.

Real knights do not have shining armor; a good knight is one whose armor has been battered in battle and reinforced in different parts so that they can live to fight again.

So, from 1994 until 2024, what can I tell you from surviving my own battles?

It is very important to know how to score some Fs in life—not just a few, but how to score 4Fs.

I can feel some death stares coming my way. But hear me out? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

The first F you must embrace is failure.?

From our experiences, we will soon realise that failure is a consistent, reliable teacher. We all remember the hurts that come from any failure, and that is why it lasts as a teaching moment. Failure comes in all forms; it is not just about examinations but about relationships, too.?

I once suffered a severe confidence failure, and looking back, AES was the safest place to fail.?

I was young and arrogant in secondary two. The school discipline master wanted to instill better discipline among the prefects. Today, you don't have prefects but student councilors. anyway, to reform the prefects, he tried to replace the current leadership team.

In those days, there was Assumption Primary, and when I was there, I did very well as a prefect. So, the discipline master who knew me from primary school decided to ignore the current leaders of the prefectorial board and appointed me, a young 14-year-old, to be the head prefect.?

I was young, naive, arrogant, and eager for power, so I took the role. But this caused a split, and many of the prefects walked out of their roles. Only when I agreed to step down could we recover ourselves as a prefectorial board.

It was a painful lesson for a 14-year-old. Teachers and close friends consoled me, and because of them, I managed to bounce back. But the lesson from this episode never left me: I decided I will never become a leader for power but always be a servant leader. Until today, in all the leadership roles I have served in business, industry, and interreligious, I have ensured I have earned my role by serving others.?

This mindset of embracing my failures early and bouncing back has helped me immensely.?

The second F you will surely need is Friendship.?

You may not remember your grades, but you will remember your best friends. Because there will be dark and foggy nights, when there will be no moonlight or stars to show the way, it will be up to your close friends whom you can call for help to guide you.

When I was studying here, I became a close friend of a senior; he was one year older than me, and we lived in the same block. His name is Francis.

We kept in touch even after we left school. He went on to study business while I went to study design.

As Providence would have it, the moment I finished design school, I came across an opportunity. An investor was willing to invest in a design startup so long as I was the founder. But I had no business experience then.

As Francis and I stayed in Marsiling, we used to meet up to take the bus or train home from town, where we both worked.

During one of these trips, I started asking him about how to start a business. After a few times, he said to me, Lawrence, if you like, you can ask me, and I am willing to be a business partner. So I did, and after a short while, we scored our first project, which was to transform the brand of Bengawan Solo.?

Francis even helped match me with my wife, who was dating another person at that time, by saying, "I think the two of you have chemistry to be a couple." I said, "It is impossible." Then Francis retorted, "You have not even asked. How do you know?" So, I plucked up the courage to ask Michelle to be my girlfriend. And this year, thanks to Francis, Michelle and I are happily married for 15 years.

So keep your best friends close, especially those who believe in you.?

The third F is to be fearless.

This cannot be learned; you have to earn it, and you only earn it by braving doubts and fears while finding fellow fearless friends. You need to be fearless in believing that you are called to something special; then, only then you will find your own brand of fearlessness to pursue it.?

As one world leader whom I admire greatly, UNESCO Peace Prize winner Chiara Lubich once said: "If you are who you are meant to be, you shall conquer the world."

Sadly, if you try to do anything different, lots of people will tell you it is impossible. My day job is in change-making. Every day, I work with leaders and organizations on change, and I can tell you the fear is so intense that many people simply assume change is not possible.?

In my own industry when, I believed 20 years ago that consulting could be a force to change the economy in favor of a united world. I was laughed at.

When I said I would build a global firm from Singapore to the world, many of my staff did not believe me. So, braving a thousand doubts, I continued. Now that my company is in 23 nations on 5 continents simply because many others also believe consulting can be a positive force for change, I know that being fearless is the only way forward; do not let others who did not dare to face their own fears stop you.?

The fourth F is Faith?

We will all have a moment when we lose our way and don't know where to go or what to do. Find a way to have Faith or subscribe to any Faith that can help you restart.?

Ten years ago, my company nearly went bankrupt, and I was in Church angry with God. I was questioning God, God, I did this business to change the world for good; I am not even enriched by it; why are you doing this to me? I screamed in my heart during my prayer.

At that time as I was very involved as a youth leader in interfaith, the spiritual community I am in decided to sponsor me to share my experience at a conference in Rome. Since I was one of the few youths from Asia present, they included me in this small group of 25 interfaith leaders to meet Pope Francis.

I was anxious and sweating, not knowing what to say. I was almost the last in the queue when he came to greet us. When it came to my turn, I poured out my heart, sharing that I tried to build a business to change the world. He smiled but did not say a word. Then I asked if I could hug him. He said yes. We embraced, and I immediately felt a peace that frankly has not left me.

After that, I am unsure if I experienced a Pope Francis miracle, but my business was revived because many opportunities came along, and I could rebuild everything.

Last Friday, I met Pope Francis again because I was organizing the interfaith event at Catholic Junior College. But this time, I decided to polish up on my poor Italian to welcome and greet him on behalf of my spiritual community. When I did so, I was shocked that he wanted to talk to me there and then. And he said something special that I want to share with you. He said slowly as he heard my italian is poor:

"Everything, even the great things, is possible with God!"

I was so happy with this because I kept Faith and believed there was a greater plan for me; This was how I could survive the trials.?

Dearest Assumptionknights, I wish you the very best for all your personal journeys as you go out there, may you welcome failures, find friends, be fearless, and have Faith!

Through work achieve success! Thank you!

One more thing, here is the video about my book event in Geneva

And if you have time for a deeper and critical conversation about ethical leadership, watch this:

Thank you fellow Changemakers!

My next keynote speeches will be in Taipei, Delhi and Zagreb, if you are interested in our global speaking engagements and workshops on changemaking, let me know.

I am here at your service, send me your feedback, suggest topics that matter to you as a changemaker.

Send any request to this: [email protected]