Conflicts - how to handle them?
Lara Yumi Tsuji Bezerra
Founder WorkCoherence | Empowering Leaders to Drive Purpose-Driven ChangeCreating a movement | C-level mentor, consultant, speaker.
@Samuel has asked me if I have lasting conflicts with my team members.
Well, indeed I believe that conflicts are not as bad as many of us see them. Normally having a conflict means that you have different opinions and if it lasts longer, it normally means that the people involved do have a strong opinion about the subject.
All in all, it should mean that there are lots of experience and a huge chance to have an outcome that is awesome, it will depend only on the answer to one question:
What is that all people involved want, what is the common outcome that we can focus on?
Normally when there is conflict, different parts want to have a good solution, everyone wants to make it right! The best thing is when we can communicate properly and align on the "wants" and then see together what each other is seeing. When we are able to step back and see from a different perspective holding a good feeling about the colleagues, knowing that we all want to get it right, normally the outcome together is a much better solution than the sum of the parts!
I have had conflicts and I have had many colleagues with different opinions, but I always try to get a balance, I have not been always successful, but, each time that we have managed to bring trust and align on a common desired outcome, WOW, then the solutions have been awesome!
With my experience the last decade, the conflicts have brought good outcome, rarely have I seen a conflict end up badly, but it can end, and then we all have to be prepared, the most important is to W.I N. (taken from Michael Phelps book), meaning to think What is Important Now!!!
In summary, I prefer to work with a team that has conflicts than a team that has never seen a conflict, that just say yes to me, or to their boss. Teams that do not conflict, either achieved a harmony which will kill innovation and creativity and needs to find diverse colleagues to challenge them, or are afraid to challenge each other and will never go to the highest level!
So the ideal for me is to have conflicts, in the sense of diverse opinions, but also to be able to manage them, trusting each other and leveraging the collective wisdom and always finding something greater to fight for!!!
In this post I have shared this article of HBR where they comment: "When employees feel a purpose at work, they try new things, engage in deeper learning, and make surprising contributions." By the end conflicts can be handled with much more respect when the team among themselves knows that we are all here from our own purpose and a common purpose, so for me, this is key to solve conflicts! This would be the ideal!!
Rtd Sr Vice President- Reliance Industries Limited
5 年Conflicts of Ideas in Frank and democratic manner during team discussion churns our the best path forward provides every team member understands the following golden rules - 1 Discussions are platform to air your own perception about the issue 2 There is no personal loss if it does not lead in your direction of thoughts. 3 It provides you an opportunity to learn , express and learn the vivid views about the different phases of same issue. 4 The leader may not follow the solution which may appear generally the best acceptable solution that may or may not have all colours painted by different members . pl remember the iceberg principle- What appears on surface top is one fifth and there are some more -known-known,known - Unknown and Unknown - Unknown factors that shape the final decision. 5. Always feel honoured for your inclusion during debate as a valued member of team - A refection of your performance , knowledge and contribution during discussion in past. 6 Lastly, always keep in mind that Even democratic discussions and conflicts of idea always favour the leader who finally strongly asserts and treats the colleagues as “ Friends during discussion but always a subordinate during execution!”
Head of Public Affairs Slovakia, Slovenia, Czech and Croatia
5 年agree Lara with all what you wrote
Growth Officer@ Reseapro Scientific Service Pvt ltd. Taking a holistic approach towards scientific communication, publication, and coordination ecosystem development. Connecting Researchers, Communicating Research
5 年Absolutely right conflicts can give rise to recombinant ideas capable of doing better. But, being a naive I have certain queries.. a) In a team, we got to know your perspective of fine tuning balance where conflicts doesnt end up in odd way. Then, how about others they must be at some background control level to understand the real meaning and essence of conflicts? b) When the team lead has limited window of flexibility with authorative power, do difference in opinion and healthy conflicts can make difference? c) Lastly, while working in a team how to assess qualitatively whether the fear of loosing the group bonding or the limitations of groupthinking has overtaken any one. Liked the balancing thing in conflict resolution. Appreciate. Thank you.
Head - Operation
5 年That is not conflict...you want ideas and suggestions...you will include those to improve...but...you will address those as conflicts..not giving them due credit but taking further credit...you resolved conflicts...