Is Conflict Truly A Catalyst for Growth?
Nina Segura, MA, CSSBB, CPCC
Business Transformation Expert | Fractional Chief Strategy Officer | Business Process Architect |Six Sigma Black Belt | Experiential Team Trainer | Executive Coach
This month, we focus on “Creating Ideal Work Relationships” (Every Day Is Friday: ACTT Blueprint: Ideal Clients/Employees section).” Most want superior teamwork – team autonomy and accountability—and an atmosphere of trust, open communication, and shared responsibility. However, sometimes, the actions or behaviors of others can create roadblocks and frustration. How might we best transform frustration into a collaboration to be more productive and profitable and, more importantly, honor our most precious relationships??
According to one of our latest polls, we asked business leaders, “How does the absence of high-quality relationships “CREW” affect work performance?” The results were tied for number #1, Unmet Financial Performance and Unclear Performance Outcomes are tied at 33%, followed by Unproductive Conflict. What do you think of that???
First, let’s normalize conflict. Consider how you experience each relationship toxin at work? At home? More importantly, which do you tend to do most???
It’s not the absence of conflict that makes us stronger (although too much conflict is a different story); it’s how we handle outside complications and how quickly our reliance bounces our team back into cohesivity. So, how can we best do that???
Based on my experience, typically, the root of unmet financial performance and unclear performance outcomes is a lack of self-leadership manifested as unproductive conflict. Most importantly, without self-trust, it is challenging to lead. My mentor, Shelly, shared something essential with me recently. She is a clear communicator and authentic with her feelings, so her kids can hear her feelings like frustration, but she never raises her voice or hits her kids for two reasons. First, she wants to maintain a connection with them. More importantly, she knows that if she were to do something out of integrity, she would only be hurting and impacting trust within herself.??
Dr. Richard Schwartz has done influential work on self-leadership as it relates to internal family systems, and it boils down to leading the parts within us before we lead others. Each of us has different parts within ourselves. There may be parts of us that want to tell people off, or parts of us that want to control or please others, and other parts of us that know when to say yes or no or to negotiate something different for our highest good and the highest good of those around us. The foundation is taking time to self-reflect about what we want and need from an empowered place.??
The POWER of the PAUSE!?
When we are in conflict, something greater happens when we remember to take 100% responsibility for our intended or unintended impact. The time to focus on how we might better handle conflict isn’t in the moment of the conflict – it’s when we are in an energy-rich state – clarity within ourselves of our boundaries, curiosity for the other, and, regardless of all of it, a commitment to learning.??
From a business perspective, it’s super important for us to understand the Client Lifecycle, The Team Lifecycle, The Employee Lifecycle, the Sales/Influence components, and practical tools like the WIN Model of Communication. But of course, I could write pages and pages on each one of those topics!
?If you have a success story or want to support your team in forming and storming to high performance, leave a comment or send me a message.
Managing Director, Affinity Creative Group
5 个月A very tricky balancing act, Nina Segura, MA, CSSBB, CPCC . Tks for posting.
Nina Segura, MA, CSSBB, CPCC, very good set of insights, especially for those working remotely and in hybrid models. The notion of the pause is one that every executive should implement given the potential negative impact that sending a highly charged communication can have. Finally, unmet financial performance, in my experience running organizations, is the failure of the leader for not clearly communicating expectations. Would certainly enjoy taking a deeper dive in understanding what you think of unproductive conflict, especially in today's distinct work environments and how leaders might be able to mitigate that.
This is a great article Nina! Without resolution, I've found that conflict festers. One of the most valuable lessons that I learned about the relationship with a spouse is that you cannot let the sun go down on the conflict (literally, do not fall asleep angry). While it cannot be quite painful to resolve such a conflict, the health of the relationship is clearly more critical. The same principles are true of relationships with friends and people in business. Of course, you will not always resolve the conflict so quickly, but if it is not resolved the outcome can be very difficult.
Wharton Instructor, Executive and Communication Advisor/ Keynote Speaker/ Support Executives, Leaders, & their teams to uplevel communication and performance— to a level even higher than they thought possible
5 个月So many good points here Nina Segura, - especially the focus on unproductive conflict which can be so detrimental to an organization. Conflict that is productive is very helpful and can bring increased trust and momentum for an organization.
Brand Naming Expert & Big Cheese @ Eat My Words? | Named the Wendy's Baconator? | Author of #1 Naming Book | Former Nasdaq Author In Residence | Guest of 100+ Global Podcasts | Unmatched Portfolio of Creative Names
5 个月Nina, this is a great breakdown on turning conflicts into productive outcomes! It’s awesome to see how understanding and managing our behaviors can really transform workplace dynamics.