(Conflict Resolution) How a Small Act of Littering affected a larger World View:
Learning from our Own Triggers and Buttons in Conflict
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “Let everyone sweep in front of his own door, and the whole world will be clean.”
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Personally, I have always been innately curious about people and the human condition. The attitude of openness and that there is something to learn from everyone, has made life engaging and interesting. The desire to meet people and find out about their lives has always been a source of internal intrigue. Although, I generally view people as smart, and somewhat philosophical, I never previously considered the idea that each and every person possesses a world view or belief system about the world around them -until my time studying Mediation at the Justice Institute. This concept caused me to reflect both externally and internally and enabled me to spot my own triggers in conflict.
One day while I was going through the JIBC program, I experienced a conflict at work that enabled me to reflect deeper on my own world view. I was catching a breath outside the front doors of the building, I looked to my left and there was a man blowing his nose into a Kleenex about 8 feet away from me. After his bellowing blow, he wiped his wet nose and then threw his Kleenex on the ground and into the bush… Within a split second of witnessing him throw the tissue to the ground, I felt triggered or like my buttons were pushed. His actions went against my own principles of not being indifferent or apathetic, and the underlying belief of what those two attributes cause on a larger scale. Being newly cognizant of triggers and worldview- I realized that my mind had instantaneously went to the quote from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “Let everyone sweep in front of his own door, and the whole world will be clean.” As the neighborhood has a very high property crime rate, I also mentally digressed to Malcom Gladwell’s comments about the broken windows theory: https://blogs.cornell.edu/info2040/2016/11/14/the-tipping-point-broken-window-theory/.
Though I am good at keeping my emotions in check, I needed to calibrate before I politely stated: “Sir, sorry to bother you. I work around the corner from here and I like the neighborhood to be clean. Could you please pick that up?” He seemed receptive to my comment initially, but when it took him a few seconds to seconds to find his own tissue- he then grumbled and asserted: “you guys should have more damn trash cans at this place.”
Looking back, the truth is I don’t know why he littered or why he grumbled when he picked up the tissue off the ground. I am certainly not the judge and jury. It is possible that he had a stunning first-date waiting around the corner for him. However, the situation was more about my own world view and triggers than a discarded tissue. Previously, I would have ignored my visceral triggers and not been inquisitive about them. In the end, this minor conflict reaffirmed that not everyone has the same world views and to be mindful of personal triggers.
Questions for personal clarity on your own triggers and worldview:
1) Have you been involved in any conflicts recently? What was your world view regarding the particular situation? What do you think the other persons world view could have been? Was this small situation a microcosm for something much larger?
2) When physiologically triggered by something that seems small, it is important to be curious about our triggers. Have you been viscerally triggered by something seemingly insignificant? What larger mental concept could have been pushing your buttons?
3) If you have any reflections because of this article, feel free to send me a message on LinkedIn.
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Chris Davy completed the Justice Institute Mediation Program in March… He is looking out at the leaves that need to be swept off his patio and feeling slightly guilty about it.