Conflict resolution and how to handle it effectively

Last weekend, a verbal dispute broke out between two individuals in a martial arts group I’m chairing.

It all started with one of the parties gently accusing the other of lacking transparency in affairs concerning the group, and despite the accusations being sugar-coated in politeness, the other party did not receive them well at all. The dispute seemed trivial to most observers, but not to these two individuals who now felt personally engaged (dare I say passionate) in defending their viewpoints.

This got me thinking about conflict resolution and how to handle it effectively. High-pressure situations, or those imbued with vested interests often bring out the best—and worst—in people. Think about the infamous clash between Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant on the early 2000s Los Angeles Lakers. While their differences caused friction, skilled coaching (from Phil Jackson notably) helped channel their talents into three consecutive NBA championships.

How can leaders resolve conflicts and manage egos under pressure to achieve similar success?

Conflict is Inevitable, but Manageable.

1st by acknowledging that conflict is a natural part of life and 2nd by being ready for it & present while it occurs. In other words, be willing to lead through constructive solutions to the root cause of the tension you've identified.

The next part is the ability to manage it, which can be learnt.

According to Harvard Business Review, 85% of employees experience workplace conflict. While conflict can be disruptive, it’s also an opportunity for growth if managed constructively. In high-pressure business scenarios, egos and differences can create friction, just as they do in sports teams or other areas of life. However, if you breakdown conflicts proactively you can turn challenges into opportunities for stronger bonds.

Identifying and naming the underlying cause of the issue is the first order of business; it can be rooted in values, priorities, emotions etc. Secondly, identifying realistic solutions together in an effort of co-creation ensures both parties are involved in the outcome. And finally, agreement on what was decided to “bury the hatchet” as it will.

The Game plan: Establish you own Conflict-Resolution Framework Create a process for resolving disputes, such as a three-step approach: identify the issue, explore solutions collaboratively, and agree on a resolution. Make this framework part of your team’s culture.

Be strong in your leadership resolve but gentle in your approach to diffuse tension.

I believe coaches, team leaders, supervisor can play a vital role in managing egos. Going back to the basketball analogy, successfully managing big personalities like Shaq and Kobe couldn’t have been a small ask. However, by encouraging mutual respect, focusing on shared goals and providing time to explore common ground, leaders can mediate conflicts and remind teams of their common purpose. Phil Jackson, known as the “zen master” would’ve had to be both strong and calm in addressing these larger than life personalities. ?

The Game plan: Conduct 1-on-1 Meetings When conflict arises, meet individually with the involved parties to understand their perspectives before addressing the issue as a group. This approach builds trust and diffuses tension.

Know your why.

When engaged people (emphasis on engaged) are reminded of the team’s overarching objective—like winning a trophy—they’re more likely to set aside personal differences. Similarly, businesses can unite teams by emphasizing shared goals (provided these are endorsed by the members and no “employee engagement” issues exist). A study by the American Psychological Association found that goal alignment increases productivity by 17% and reduces workplace tension.

The Game plan: Create a Goal Tracker Use a shared dashboard to visualize progress toward team objectives. I recently migrated from Kanbo to “Microsoft Teams” for seamless integration with other work apps, but I find it helps to review the progress and celebrate wins as a team. It also fosters accountability and keeps everyone focused on the bigger picture.

Further Tips for Managing Conflicts:

1. Stay Neutral: Leaders should avoid taking sides and focus on resolving the issue impartially.
2. Train for Conflict Resolution: Offer workshops on active listening, emotional intelligence, and negotiation.
3. Celebrate Reconciliation: Acknowledge when team members resolve conflicts positively to encourage similar behavior.

Conflict is an unavoidable part of team dynamics, but with the right intentions, it can lead to growth and success. By fostering open communication, uniting teams around shared goals, and modeling calm leadership, you can turn discord into harmony.

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