Conflict Resolution

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If you can master the skills of conflict resolution, it can lead to improved leadership, better decision making, better relationships, building rapport and trust, and ultimately making you a better communicator.

While conflict is something that we all generally try to avoid, ignoring it does not make it go away. And when it comes to the workplace, resolving conflict is often your job, although it might not be as intense at your office as it is for Chris White and Martin Richards from Negotiation Global. They have travelled the world as hostage and crisis negotiators, and they shared their expertise with us on The Body Talk Podcast—How to Approach Conflict Resolution in Business .

So how do we resolve conflict?

Build a foundation of trust and empathy.

Chris and Martin stressed this over and over. You must first establish trust, and sometimes you have to build trust with someone who you don’t consider trustworthy. You might have to empathise with someone who you don’t even like, and maybe they don’t like you either.?

Chris says to try to separate the person from the behaviour that you’re seeing. Try to have an appreciation for why they’re displaying certain behaviours. It’s the behaviour you want to change, not the human being. We can empathise with a person while also understanding that their behaviour is not necessarily productive for the workplace.

Build rapport.

Identify what people are going through and reflect it back. Martin discusses how when he’s dealing with someone going through a wide range of emotions, he reflects back the cadence and tone that they’re using. Body language and tone of voice are so important.?

Understand that when people are emotional, it’s difficult to listen, and they may need time and space. But people can’t stay highly emotional for very long. Try to acknowledge that they’re emotional, listen to them, and save the problem solving for when they’ve calmed down some on their own.

If you’re noticing an emotional change, talk about it. Acknowledge that you’re listening to the physical cues the other person is giving you.?

Try to understand them, and demonstrate to that person that you are listening. Which leads us to the next step in conflict resolution:

Listen.

Conflict resolution isn’t about talking. It’s about listening.

Ask an open question. Open questions can be easy, but we have a habit of following them up with more specific questions, which indicates that we aren’t really listening. If you ask, “How are you feeling today?” And follow up with, “Are you angry with me?” Then you aren’t really listening to the other person’s response. It signals to the other person that you think you already know the answer. It takes effort because sometimes asking the open question and waiting for a response means sitting in silence, which can be uncomfortable.

Take a moment to think about what you hope to accomplish through listening. Are you listening to respond? Or are you listening to understand? Are you preoccupied with winning the argument? Listening is a practice that takes a lot of work.?

Keep the conversation focused on what the conflict is really about. If you’re trying to win the argument, you’re going to get lost.

Do a final check.

This is an opportunity to close the conversation, make sure the other person is happy, and provide clarity for everyone involved about what the solution is. Ask a simple question like, “Does that work for you?”?

And remember, when you overcome obstacles together, it is an opportunity to achieve a greater sense of collaboration.

Want to learn more?

We offer a Conflict Resolution Management Training both virtually and in person, and you have one more chance to sign up for our flagship event! The Dynamic Presenter , a 2-day in-person training at The Royal Berkshire Hotel in Ascot June 27th and 28th.?

Check out our ultimate guide to Advanced Presentation Skills for a more thorough introduction to what we do and tangible advice on how to apply Body Talk to your life. And as always, you can contact us here or email us at [email protected] .?

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