Conflict Resiliency and Radical Candor

Years ago, as I was rapidly exiting a bookstore, I saw Kim Scott's book Radical Candor showing a similar X/Y axis to my DOT model framework on conflict resiliency. Thrilled, I went back to the check-out line, and read it cover to cover in less then 24 hours. I knew that I had found a kindred spirit on Conflict Resiliency.

Kim and I will both be speaking at the annual community management conference (CMX) next Month! Kim will be sharing on her new book, Radical Respect, and how this might apply in professional community management settings. My co-presenter, Molli Aronce, and I will be teaching about Conflict Resiliency in community management. This conference is shaping up to be a rich two days of up-skilling on conflict.

Here are a few thoughts about how our models understanding conflict overlap.

Both provide

• frameworks for understanding relationship dynamics in professional settings
• techniques for addressing conflict and fostering conflict resiliency in professional settings and community management.

How do both of our models contribute to a holistic approach to conflict resiliency?

Radical Candor:

Radical Candor is a management philosophy centered on the balance between caring personally and challenging directly. It encourages leaders to provide feedback that is both kind and clear, specific, and sincere. This approach allows for open communication, fosters a culture of feedback, and promotes personal growth and development. The core aspects of Radical Candor are:

- Caring Personally: Showing empathy and understanding for team members' personal challenges and aspirations.

- Challenging Directly: Offering constructive feedback and challenges to push team members towards their growth and improvement.

DOT Model:

The DOT (Deepen, Orient, Transform) Model, developed in clinical settings and adapted to various populations, focuses on navigating through the emotional and archetypal dynamics of conflict. It emphasizes understanding the underlying emotions and roles (villain, victim, hero, bystander) that individuals may adopt in conflict situations. The model provides a pathway from recognizing and engaging with these emotions and roles to transforming the conflict into an opportunity for growth and connection. The DOT Model is built on several key principles:

- Understanding Culture and Archetypes: Recognizing how shared beliefs and stories shape interactions and how archetypes influence our behavior in conflict.

- Navigating Emotions: Deep diving into emotions associated with conflict archetypes, such as frustration, irritation, concern, and confusion, and the importance of congruent communication.

- Transforming Conflict: Shifting from merely resolving conflict to using it as a catalyst for growth, emphasizing the significance of emotional intelligence, empathy, and connection in this process.

Synergy Between Radical Candor and the DOT Model:

- Emphasis on Emotional Intelligence: Both models highlight the importance of understanding and managing emotions in a conflict situation. Radical Candor's focus on caring personally aligns with the DOT Model's emphasis on emotional engagement and empathy, fostering a culture where emotions are acknowledged and validated.

- Constructive Feedback and Growth: Radical Candor's principle of challenging directly complements the DOT Model's approach to transforming conflict into opportunities for growth. Together, they advocate for feedback that not only addresses immediate issues but also contributes to personal and communal development.

- Building Resilient Relationships: The integration of caring personally and understanding the emotional and archetypal dynamics of conflict helps build stronger, more resilient relationships. This combined approach ensures that conflicts are not just resolved but are used as stepping stones for deeper connection and understanding.

- Promoting Open Communication: Both models encourage open, honest communication as a means to address and navigate through conflicts. Radical Candor provides a framework for delivering feedback effectively, while the DOT Model offers insights into the emotional underpinnings of how this feedback is received and processed.

Both models offer a comprehensive strategy for conflict resiliency in professional settings and community management. Conflicts are not just resolved but are transformed into opportunities for personal growth, stronger relationships, and a more cohesive community.

Looking forward to the rich learnings ahead!