On conflict and criticism: Feedback is inevitable, so how do you handle when it's negative?

From sellers, bidders and remorseful buyers to employees and even competitors, at some point you will experience conflict and criticism during your life in the auction profession. As your business grows and you become more known, you will have to deal with and face conflict and criticism more and more, warranted or not.

Even on our best auction on our best day auction professionals can find themselves on the brunt end of conflict and criticism. It can appear out of nowhere leaving you in doubt, questioning all your best intentions.

Remember the time when:

• You had a disgruntled bidder; whatever the reason was?
• A remorseful buyer wanted to back out?
• A buyer blamed you for missing the pick-up?
• A seller complained when they didn’t obtain a price they hoped for?
• Maybe you worked at a previous company and decide to go out on your own?
• Or perhaps there was a time you had to let go of an employee?

How we handle ourselves in the midst of conflict and criticism in these situations is very important to your business and our industry. Let’s face it, if this occurs after a hard, stressful auction we tend to jump into the defensive mode at the first sound of criticism.

How you handle yourself in every situation will determine an outcome that could last for decades. It will determine whether you are closing a door permanently or leaving the door open for future business. You need to be able to address your critics with grace. (Trust me, it’s much easier said than done!) Being able to understand and accept criticism in the heat of the moment can have a lasting impact on your business and reputation. Being able to control your words and reactions is the most powerful tool you have.

Criticism

Undoubtedly, there is usually some truth when someone criticizes you, and that’s why we as people don’t like it. We all can think of different times someone has been critical and we want to get upset and argue back, but deep down, the reason we are upset is because they are saying something that we know is true or partially true. I’ve found that truth is usually found somewhere in the middle not on one extreme side or another.

As auction professionals we have all dealt with an upset bidder who complains.

• The item description wasn’t clear.
• The directions were confusing.
• The auctioneer doesn’t return calls.

Before getting upset, ask yourself, is there any truth to the complaint? Usually, if you take a step back you will agree there is some truth. Maybe the description was worded poorly, the directions were confusing and maybe the auctioneer never called them back. In any scenario, acknowledge, do better and move on.

With criticism, extract what truth there may be. Acknowledge the other person, hear what they say, and repeat it back to them. And, ultimately, learn from it. Don’t let criticism derail your entire day or business. Emotions and views can be twisted, so when dealing with criticism, stick to the facts.

Value all people and value constructive criticism. Constructive criticism is given with sincere intentions from people who want you to improve your work. Constructive criticism focuses on the work, topic, or situation, not the person who did it. Remind yourself not to criticize or complain if you don’t have suggestions to improve the situation.

There will, of course, sometimes be situations where criticisms are completely unfounded. In those cases, it is still best to acknowledge and move on.

Conflict

Conflict happens when there is a departure from the ideal scene— when two people stop agreeing, your vision and their vision no longer align. Sometimes, this is someone reacting to something you said or did that reminded them of themselves or their past mistakes—you hit on an emotion that was already there and hadn’t healed. Understand this about them, and you are better equipped to maintain a balanced view, show empathy, and hopefully turn a critic into a fan.

Accept that conflict is necessary for growth. Think back to a time when you may have been starting out or at a previous company and you decided to move in a different direction, it might have been painful and unpleasant but that is where real growth happened.

Letting go of an employee whose self-appraisal is higher than their actual worth can be uncomfortable but necessary for your company to grow. In many cases, new partnerships and businesses have been formed because of conflict in previous positions. Not being able to deal with, accept and eventually move on from conflict and criticism will affect your success and growth.

You can’t let conflict and criticism paralyze you, you must address it. Sharpening your skills to handle conflict and criticism will help you grow as a leader. Learning how to open discussions and end disagreements that satisfies all parties is a skill you should desire to have as a seasoned professional.

This article was written by Jay Cash , BAS, CES. Cash is the owner of James R. Cash Auctions & Real Estate and serves on the Board of Directors for the National Auctioneers Association, as well as an instructor for Nashville Auction School.

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