BE CONFIDENT!!!! CONFIDENCE IS THE FOUNDATION OF SUCCESS!!!!

Confidence is full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing: Self- confidence is a personality trait, whereas specific self- confidence behaves more like a state. ... Now something interesting: In psychology there is the saying “state over trait,” meaning that your momentary state is a lot more important than your underlying trait.

WHY SHOULD WE BE CONFIDENT???

The Ability to Say Yes – And at the same time, confident individuals say “Yes” to opportunity. They do not miss new options because they are shy. ... To succeed, you need the confidence to face and overcome your fears. Believe In Themselves – Self- confidence means believing in yourself

After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that's being pitched by someone who was nervous, fumbling, and overly apologetic.On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head high, who answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not know something.

Confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.

The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether you’re working on your own confidence or building the confidence of people around you, it’s well-worth the effort!

How Confident Do You Seem to Others?

Your level of self-confidence can show in many ways: your behavior, your body language, how you speak, what you say, and so on. Look at the following comparisons of common confident behavior with behavior associated with low self-confidence. Which thoughts or actions do you recognize in yourself and people around you?

Confident Behavior Behavior Associated With low Self-Confidence Doing what you believe to be right, even if others mock or criticize you for it. Governing your behavior based on what other people think. Being willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things. Staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure, and so avoid taking risks. Admitting your mistakes, and learning from them. Working hard to cover up mistakes and hoping that you can fix the problem before anyone notices. Waiting for others to congratulate you on your accomplishments. Extolling your own virtues as often as possible to as many people as possible. Accepting compliments graciously. “Thanks, I really worked hard on that prospectus. I’m pleased you recognize my efforts.” Dismissing compliments offhandedly. “Oh that prospectus was nothing really, anyone could have done it.” As you can see from these examples, low self-confidence can be self-destructive, and it often manifests itself as negativity. Confident people are generally more positive – they believe in themselves and their abilities, and they also believe in living life to the full.

What Is Self-Confidence?

Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.

We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and achieving goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a particular area, we'll succeed; and it's this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and persist in the face of setbacks., which is a more general sense that we can cope with what's going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that the people around us approve of us, which we may or may not be able to control. However, it also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we're competent at what we do, and that we can compete successfully when we put our minds to it.

Some people believe that self-confidence can be built with affirmations and positive thinking

We believe that there's some truth in this, but that it's just as important to build self-confidence by setting and achieving goals – thereby building competence. Without this underlying competence, you don't have self-confidence: you have shallow over-confidence, with all of the issues, upset and failure that this brings.

Building Self-Confidence

So how do you build this sense of balanced self-confidence, founded on a firm appreciation of reality?

The bad news is that there’s no quick fix, or five-minute solution.

The good news is that becoming more confident is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus and determination to carry things through. And what’s even better is that the things you’ll do to build your self-confidence will also build success – after all, your confidence will come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take this away from you!

So here are our three steps to self-confidence, for which we’ll use the metaphor of a journey: preparing for your journey; setting out; and accelerating towards success.

Step 1: Preparing for Your Journey

The first step involves getting yourself ready for your journey to self-confidence. You need to take stock of where you are, think about where you want to go, get yourself in the right mindset for your journey, and commit yourself to starting it and staying with it.

In preparing for your journey, do these five things:

Look at What You've Already Achieved

Think about your life so far, and list the ten best things you've achieved in an "Achievement Log." Perhaps you came top in an important test or exam, played a key role in an important team, produced the best sales figures in a period, did something that made a key difference in someone else’s life, or delivered a project that meant a lot for your business.

Put these into a smartly formatted document, which you can look at often. And then spend a few minutes each week enjoying the success you’ve already had!

Think About Your Strengths

Next, use a technique like SWOT Analysis

to take a look at who and where you are. Looking at your Achievement Log, and reflecting on your recent life, think about what your friends would consider to be your strengths and weaknesses. From these, think about the opportunities and threats you face.

Make sure that you enjoy a few minutes reflecting on your strengths!

Think About What's Important to You, and Where You Want to Go

Next, think about the things that are really important to you, and what you want to achieve with your life.

Setting and achieving goals is a key part of this, and real confidence comes from this. Goal setting is the process you use to set yourself targets, and measure your successful hitting of those targets. See our article on goal setting

Inform your goal setting with your SWOT Analysis. Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face.

And having set the major goals in your life, identify the first step in each. Make sure it’s a very small step, perhaps taking no more than an hour to complete!

Start Managing Your Mind

At this stage, you need to start managing your mind. Learn to pick up and defeat the negative self-talk which can destroy your confidence.

And Then Commit Yourself to Success!

The final part of preparing for the journey is to make a clear and unequivocal promise to yourself that you are absolutely committed to your journey, and that you will do all in your power to achieve it.

If as you’re doing it, you find doubts starting to surface, write them down and challenge them calmly and rationally. If they dissolve under scrutiny, that’s great. However if they are based on genuine risks, make sure you set additional goals to manage these appropriately. For help with evaluating and managing the risks you face, read our Risk Analysis and Management

Either way, make that promise!

Tip:

Self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be over-confident.

If you are under-confident, you’ll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself; and you might not try at all. And if you’re over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and crash badly. You may also find that you’re so optimistic that you don’t try hard enough to truly succeed.

Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on your true ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself (but not beyond your abilities) and try hard.

So how self confident are you? Take a short quiz

to find out how self-confident you are already, and start looking at specific strategies to improve your confidence level.

Step 2: Setting Out

This is where you start, ever so slowly, moving towards your goal. By doing the right things, and starting with small, easy wins, you’ll put yourself on the path to success – and start building the self-confidence that comes with this.

Build the Knowledge You Need to Succeed

Looking at your goals, identify the skills you’ll need to achieve them. And then look at how you can acquire these skills confidently and well. Don’t just accept a sketchy, just-good-enough solution – look for a solution, a program or a course that fully equips you to achieve what you want to achieve and, ideally, gives you a certificate or qualification you can be proud of.

Focus on the Basics

When you’re starting, don’t try to do anything clever or elaborate. And don’t reach for perfection – just enjoy doing simple things successfully and well.

Set Small Goals, and Achieve Them

Starting with the very small goals you identified in step 1, get in the habit of setting them, achieving them, and celebrating that achievement. Don’t make goals particularly challenging at this stage, just get into the habit of achieving them and celebrating them. And, little by little, start piling up the successes!

Keep Managing Your Mind

Stay on top of that positive thinking, keep celebrating and enjoying success, and keep those mental images strong. You can also use a technique like Treasure Mapping

to make your visualizations even stronger!

And on the other side, learn to handle failure. Accept that mistakes happen when you’re trying something new. In fact, if you get into the habit of treating mistakes as learning experiences, you can (almost) start to see them in a positive light. After all, there’s a lot to be said for the saying “if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger!”

Step 3: Accelerating Towards Success

By this stage, you’ll feel your self-confidence building. You’ll have completed some of the courses you started in step 2, and you’ll have plenty of success to celebrate!

This is the time to start stretching yourself. Make the goals a bit bigger, and the challenges a bit tougher. Increase the size of your commitment. And extend the skills you’ve proven into new, but closely related arenas.

Tip 1:

Keep yourself grounded – this is where people tend to get over-confident and over-stretch themselves. And make sure you don’t start enjoying cleverness for its own sake…

Tip 2:

If you haven't already looked at it, use our How Self Confident Are You?

quiz to find out how self-confident you are, and to identify specific strategies for building self-confidence.

As long as you keep on stretching yourself enough, but not too much, you'll find your self-confidence building apace. What's more, you'll have earned your self-confidence – because you’ll have put in the hard graft necessary to be successful!

Goal setting is arguably the most important skill you can learn to improve your self-confidence.

Key Points

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, and people who lack it can find it difficult to become successful.

Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem. You can develop it with these three steps:

1. Prepare for your journey.
2. Set out on your journey.
3. Accelerate towards success.

Goal setting is probably the most important activity that you can learn in order to improve your self-confidence.

Less confidence does not lead to success. To the contrary, it leads to holding back.

Less confidence does not lead to success. To the contrary, it leads to holding back. It leads to shyness. Inaction. And often, missed opportunities.

“Lack of confidence results in inaction and not standing up for oneself. It results in missed chances and setting the bar too low. Believing in yourself is what allows you to rise up and reach your potential.

Confidence In Yourself When I speak of confidence, I am not talking about blind arrogance.

Those that are overly confident fall into yet another category. However, I am referring to the self-confidence needed to believe in one’s own skills, goals, and ability to succeed. When you believe in yourself you are more likely to take action. To stand up and seize the moment. And to persevere long after those who doubt themselves.

Here are the Reasons That Self-Confidence Leads to Success:

• The Drive to Start Things – Confident people start things. They are not shy about striking out on a new idea even when those around them are still pondering it.
• The Ability to Stand Up for Oneself – Confidence allows you to stand up for yourself in a fair and consistent manner. Otherwise, you may find yourself unheard or unfairly treated.
• The Ability to Say No – Confident people have the ability to say “No” where appropriate. They do not take on unnecessary or inappropriate work or obligations.
• The Ability to Say Yes – And at the same time, confident individuals say “Yes” to opportunity. They do not miss new options because they are shy. I have seen individuals’ pass up opportunities (even promotions) because they didn’t think they were “worthy.”
• Confidence Overcomes Fear – Lack of confidence can lead to paralysis from fear. Fear of failure. Fear of what others think. Fear of the unknown. To succeed, you need the confidence to face and overcome your fears.
• Believe In Themselves Self-confidence means believing in yourself. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.” He was right.
• Set the Bar High Enough – Confident individuals set the bar high and aim high. Lack of confidence leads to weak goals, setting the bar too low, and mediocre results. Stretch Your Limits –
• Confidence lets you know your limits and test them. By stretching your limits you increase them. You are stronger than you think. Confidence Asks Questions – Confidence allows you to ask questions, even when others are silent.
• Confidence even lets you “ask for the job.” Believe In Winning – Confident people believe in success. And more importantly, they believe in their ability to succeed. Believing in Success
• Confidence leads to success. Believe in yourself. Believe in your skills. And most importantly, believe in your ability to succeed. Question: What do you think? Which side of this concept do you side with?

How to Be Confident

Confidence is a very tricky little thing. Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put at the will of others when it should only be up to you. The good news is that you're driving this self-assurance train and it's ready to depart from the station.

Part 1

Appearing Confident

• Look the part. If you know that you look like a confident, capable person, eventually you'll start to feel it, too. You should dress how you feel best -- not what you think confident is. Try these tricks:
• Devote a little time each day to personal hygiene and making sure you're presenting yourself well. Shower daily, brush and floss your teeth, and groom your skin and hair.
• Dress for confidence. You don't have to buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you're clean, comfortable, and feel good, you're set up for confidence! Remember, you look more confident when you are enjoying what you wear!
• After all, you wouldn't wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look good, odds are you probably do.
• Perfect your posture. How you carry yourself communicates a lot to other people, so make sure you're telling them that you're confident and in-charge. Keep your shoulders back, your spine straight, and your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet, and sit up straight. When you look like a confident person on the outside, you'll be approached as one by the world around you.
• You won't only fool everyone else -- you'll fool yourself too. Recent research shows that the positioning of your body cues your mind to feel a certain way -- so positioning yourself confidently will make you genuinely feel in charge. And to top it off, having confident body language has been linked to lower levels of stress, too.
• Smile. Keep your grin in easy reach -- you'd be surprised how even the smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel more comfortable. In fact, research shows that smiling reduces stress hormones in the brain. Can you imagine approaching someone who's scowling? No, thank you.
• If you're worried your smile is fake, keep it small. A fake smile can be spotted from a mile away. On the other hand, if you're genuinely happy to see them -- or just happy for the chance to practice your new confidence skills -- flash those pearly white teeth.
• Make eye contact. It's a subtle change, but it can work wonders on how other people perceive you. Don't be afraid to meet the gaze of someone else; it shows not only that you are a person worthy of communicating with, but it tells them you respect them, acknowledge their presence, and are interested in the conversation. You don't want to be rude, do you?!
• Our eyes are uniquely human. They are windows to the soul, if you will, and showcase our attention and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of your interactions in addition to appearing more confident. In fact, you'll come off as more likeable and trustworthy and those who converse with you will feel more appreciated. If you can't do it for you, do it for them!
• Have approachable body language. If you see a person huddled in the corner pretending to play games on their mobile phone, are you really going to come up and say hello? Probably not. If you want others to approach you, make sure you're approachable!
• Keep your body open. If you have your arms and legs crossed, you're telling the world that you're not interested in welcoming them in. Same goes for your face and hands -- if it's clear you're preoccupied with something else (be it a thought or your iPhone), people will take the hint.
• Hold your gaze. Now that you've got the eye contact thing down, it's time to put it into practice. Did you know that other people are just as shy about eye contact as you are? Try this out: make eye contact with someone and see who lasts longer. Do they avert their gaze before you? See?! They're uncomfortable too!
• wiki How isn't advocating staring someone down. Staring intensely at someone until they feel your gaze and shrink accordingly due to palpable awkwardness is not the goal. The goal is, however, to recognize that other people are just as nervous about you looking at them as you are about them looking at you. If you get caught, just smile. You're off the hook.

Part 2 Thinking Confidently

• Recognize your talents and good qualities and write them down. No matter how down you feel, try to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at. Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks, friendships, talents, and most of all, personality.
• Think back on compliments from other people. What have they told you about you that you otherwise haven't noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they've remarked on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations.
• Remember past accomplishments. It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your class, or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go!
• Think about the qualities you try to cultivate. No one's perfect, but if you're actively trying to be an honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for effort. The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you're humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes.
• Now write down everything you can think of and refer back to it next time you're feeling down. Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing.
• Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence. Take a piece of paper and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my part? FYI, the answers are "no" and "yes," respectively. How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth? It doesn't!
• Here's an example: You didn't get good grades on your last math test, so as a result you're not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just one event and has nothing to do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reasons not to be confident.
• Remember that everyone struggles with confidence. Some people are good at hiding it, but nearly every person has struggled with his or her self-confidence at one point. You're not alone! And if you can think of someone who's confident, odds are there's a situation they're not confident in. Confidence is rarely universal.
• Here's a true fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking in things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you don't have to be perfect all the time.
• Stop comparing yourself with everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You don't have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person in order to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you can't completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better.
• See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement. Having confidence isn't a finish line you cross once, and the process won't always move forward — there will be days when you feel like you're starting from square one. Take a deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you've already cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your duty to pat yourself on the back even if you didn't do anything.
• Odds are you won't really realize you're confident until you already are. Was there a day you realized you were smart, funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So if you don't see immediate changes, know that it's just because you're too close to the painting. Can't see the forest through the trees, type of thing. You get it.
• Remember you were born with it. No, it's not May belle. When you popped out of your mother's womb, you didn't really care who heard you crying or how soft your head was. You just were. It was society that pointed a finger at you and made you feel as if you had to measure up. It was learned. You know what they say about learned things? They can be unlearned.
• Tap into that confidence that you were born with. It's there, it's just buried under years of exposure to praise, threats, and perceived judgments. Take everyone else out of the picture. They don't matter. They have nothing to do with you. "You" is good. "You" exists apart from any other judgment.
• Get out of your head. A lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world, so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner dialogue, just stop. The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it. The only moment that exists is now. Don't you want to be a part of it?
• So much of the world exists outside your head (if we're going with the assumption that reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the past or the future. Concentrate on what's in front of you -- there's probably something exciting about it.

Part 3

Practicing Confidence

• Embrace your interests. If there's a sport or hobby you've always wanted to be good at, now's the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that you are talented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical instrument or a foreign language, take up an art form like painting, start building projects—whatever it is that catches your interest.
• Don't get discouraged if you're not immediately awesome. Remember that learning is a process, and you're in it for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best ever.
• Take up a hobby you can do with a group. Finding like-minded people who share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow hobbyists.
• Talk to strangers. Straight up, confidence is more than just a state of mind -- it's habit. That's all humans really are. So in order to be confident, you've gotta do confident things. One of those is making conversation with strangers. It's intimidating at first, but with each time you'll be more and more unfazed.
• No, that won't creep strangers out unless you're a smelly, aggressive Quasimodo-looking KKK member. If someone says, "Hey!", smiles at you, and asks you whether they should go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean, how are you going to feel? Probably good. Everybody likes to be the hero, talk to other people, and be spontaneous. You're just brightening up their otherwise dull day.
• You don't have opportunities, huh? How about the barista at your coffee shop? The girl at the check-out counter of your grocery store? Random strangers you pass on the street?
• Don't over-apologize. Being able to say you're sorry is a good trait (and something too many people struggle with). However, be careful to say it only when necessary. Apologizing when you've slighted or inconvenienced someone is polite; apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong, though, can make you feel subordinate and like you should be sorry. Before it slips out of your mouth, take a second to make sure this is a situation that actually needs an apology from you.
• Use workarounds. You can express your sympathy or regret without actually apologizing. For instance, if you're worried about inconveniencing someone, you could say "I hope this hasn't been too much trouble" instead of automatically reverting to "I'm sorry."
• Apologizing needlessly makes you seem unsure of yourself. That doesn't make sense because you are inferior to no one. Why apologize if you didn't do anything wrong? After all, do you really mean it? And if you apologize all the time, it loses value. Being sorry for everything means you're sorry for nothing. Think of "I'm sorry" like "I love you." It should only be said with care.
• Accept compliments gracefully. Don't just roll your eyes and shrug it off — own it! You deserved it! Make eye contact, smile, and say "thank you." Being nice about it when someone else wants to compliment you doesn't compromise your humility; it shows that you're polite and have a secure sense of self-worth.
• Pay a compliment in return. If you're still uncomfortable taking compliments, try giving one back after you've accepted. This can help you feel like the score is "even" and you haven't been too prideful.
• Build your confidence by helping others. Take time to pay someone else a compliment, or do an unannounced good deed. You'll brighten their day, and you'll feel better about yourself. When you become a source for positivity, others will seek to be around you, bolstering the good vibes.
• Lots of people aren't good at receiving compliments. Odds are if you give someone one they'll respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might respond skeptically -- "Hey, I really like that shirt you're wearing. Was it made in China?" might not get the best response.
• Drop those who bring you down. It's hard to be confident in a group of people that you feel are constantly judging you. You could naturally be the most extroverted, loud, self-assured person, but with these people, you turn into a puppy dog that hasn't been cared for well enough. Those people need to be dropped like a bad habit. And now.
• It's important that you surround yourself with others who you feel make you feel like you're the best version of you there could possibly be. It's only around these people that you'll be able to make the growth you want to (and can!) make.
• Slow down. A lot of people don't do crowds. Even more people don't do public speaking. If you find yourself in one of these arenas, it's important to slow down. When we're nervous, we tend to speed up just to get everything over with. Don't do that. It's clue one that you're nervous. And you're cuing yourself that you're nervous too!
• Point number one is breathe. When we take short, sharp breaths, we're cuing ourselves to fight or flight. Cut that out and you calm down a notch automatically. Humans aren't rocket science, luckily.
• Point number two is to consciously slow down your actions. Think of a six-year-old on a sugar high -- that's you right now. Match your actions to your breathing. Bingo. Serenity.
• Expect success. A lot of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we think we'll fail, we don't really try as hard. When we think we're not good enough, we often act not good enough. If you expect success, you may just draw it out. Pessimism can actually undermine your abilities. Right now you're probably saying, "I'm no accurate predictor of the future! Expecting success isn't logical -- weren't you just pushing logic a second ago?!" Well, yes, but think of it this way: you often expect failure, so why not expect success? They're both possible circumstances and in most, one is not more likely than the other. BOOM. Schooled.
• Take risks. Sometimes the only way out is through. In order to get good at life, you've gotta encounter experiences that force you to learn. You can't be awesome at it right off the bat. If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll never get better at...anything. You gotta take chances to grow.
• Failure is inevitable. It always happens. And it doesn't matter. The only part that matters is that you get back up. Everyone experiences set backs, but not everyone gets back up. It's the getting back up that builds confidence, and you've got to fail in the first place to do so.
• Get Things Done Confidence is built on accomplishment. If you achieve small and big goals, you're going to feel much better about yourself. It begins with your day-to-day goals, what do you need to accomplish today, and every day this week or three days this week to help meet your goal? If you accomplish the goals you set for every day, chances are you will begin meeting weekly and monthly goals, which brings you in range of your bi-annual and annual goals. Keep in mind that progress is incremental, and big changes do not happen overnight. You're going to feel like you can take a big project, and set an ambitious goal because you believe you can meet it. Set a goal for yourself, and go for it.
• Monitor Your Progress The best way to reach your goals, big or small, is break them into smaller goals and to monitor your progress. Whether you're trying to get promoted, get a better job, get into graduate school, change careers, eat healthier or lose 10 pounds, the best way to know if you're making progress is to monitor it. Try to quantify your accomplishments: the number of applications you're submitting to jobs or graduate schools, what you're eating and how much you're exercising, write down whatever your goal may be. It will help you stay on course, and you will build confidence as you see the progress you're making in real time.
• Do The Right Thing  Most confident people live by a value system and make their decisions based on that value system, even when it's hard and not necessarily in their best interest, but in the interest of the greater good. Your actions and your decisions define your character. Ask yourself what the best version of yourself that you aspire to be would do, and do it. Even when it's really hard and it's the last thing you want to do and it means a short-term sacrifice on your part, in the long run you're going to like yourself more and be prouder of who you are.
• Exercise  Besides benefiting your health in general, exercising helps memory retention, improves focus, helps manage stress and prevents depression. It's harder to be anxious when there is no excess energy to draw upon, and outside of being difficult uncomfortable at times, exercise improves every aspect of your life. So stay active, and create time to take of yourself.
• Be Fearless Failing isn't your enemy, it's fearing failure that truly cripples you. If you set big goals and have big dreams, you're going to feel overwhelmed, and you're inevitably going to feel like you can't do it. In those moments you have to look inside yourself, and gather every ounce of courage you have and just keep going. Every single wildly successful person has been afraid, and they've kept working and taking risks anyway, because what they are trying to accomplish is more important and urgent than their fear they will fail. Think about how much you want to achieve your goal, then put your fear to the side, and keep going, one day at a time.
• Stand-up For Yourself  When your goal, project, etc. is in its early stages, and someone says that your goal is stupid, or that you can not do it, it's tempting to believe them because they're joining the chorus of doubts inside your head. Logically you think, "How can I be right when this person and all these doubts in my head are telling me I can't do this? That this idea is stupid." And you have to tell those people, especially the voices in your head, that they're wrong. You have it in you, so tell them you believe in your goal, you believe in yourself, so you're going to accomplish it. There's a great line in 10 Things I Hate About You, when Joseph Gordon-Levitt is about to give up his pursuit of Larisa Oleynik, and Heath Ledger gives him a pep talk, ending it with,"Don't let anyone, ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want."
• Follow Through People respect people when they say they're going to do something and they do it. More importantly, you will respect yourself if you say you're going to do something and you do it, and belief in yourself will come easier, because you know you are not afraid of the work. Action gives your words meaning, and it will help you pave a path to accomplishing your goals, strengthening your relationships and feeling proud of who you are.

Here is my take on how to regain your confidence quickly, plus more insights from my Inc. colleagues.

1. Talk it through with a friend.
2. When the bad things happen and you feel a little off center, you can't bottle it inside and let it eat you up. ...
3. Get back to work.
4. Celebrate small wins.
5. Revisit past successes.

Ways to Quickly Regain Confidence When You Need It Most

Nothing saps your confidence faster than creating a big failure where someone else was made a victim. It’s not like you meant to cause trouble for others. Unfortunately, now your error in judgment created anger, concern, and embarrassment.

Okay, you apologized — but that's not enough. Somehow you have to shake it off and get back in the game. When the stakes are high, you have to move forward again despite feeling hurt and insecure. It's the hardest time to feel good about yourself and what you're doing, but the show must go on.

Here is my take on how to regain your confidence quickly, plus more insights from my Inc. colleagues.

• Talk it through with a friend.

When the bad things happen and you feel a little off center, you can't bottle it inside and let it eat you up. Insecurity feeds off stress and isolation. Most likely you will be harder on yourself than anyone else. So give yourself a release. Talk to someone who loves and respects you. Express your frustration and talk through the details of what happened. Take a hug and shake it off so you can go back to being the pro you really are.

• Get back to work.

There’s no quick fix. Confidence is like trust: tough to develop, easy to lose. All you can do is put your head down and try to do good work. The only recipe for feeling more confident is success. Improvement breeds confidence. Competence breeds confidence. Success — in your field or sometimes in any field — breeds confidence. So, get back to work and start succeeding again so your confidence will eventually return. Jeff Haden--Owner's Manual

• Celebrate small wins.

Confidence is a fragile thing, and a big loss can cause you to lose it for days, weeks, or even months. It’s important to get it back as quickly as you can. Look for quick, easy wins and build on those over the course of a week’s time — going for bigger and bigger wins. Soon you’ll have your confidence back. Peter Economy--The Leadership Guy

• Revisit past successes.

We all let others down from time-to-time, and when it happens we usually take it much harder than the person we've disappointed. It's amazing how a thousand wonderful achievements can easily be forgotten when one little failure comes into play. Being hard on yourself only perpetuates your feelings of failure, which does neither party much good. Apologize and move on by reviewing the countless times you've delivered on your word and contributed to making the world a better place. Marla Tabaka--The Successful Soloist

• Discuss lessons learned.

Any person of importance, whether it is a boss or an investor, understands that failure is part of the process. They have made an investment in you and your relationship and won't quickly turn their back on you. A marketing manager for a local conference misprinted the name of one of the key presenters. This misspelling cost her company 25,000 and she was sure that she was going to be fired. She owned up to the mistake and explained how processes had been changed to prevent it in the future. Her boss' response was "I just made a $25,000 investment in you, why would I fire you now?" Followed by, "I am sure you won't make that mistake again." Understanding why something didn't work as anticipated and taking responsibility for the mess-up is a sign of your maturity and growth. The key to regaining your confidence is to realize that we all make mistakes. Regain your confidence by admitting, apologizing, and learning from your mistake. Eric Holtzclaw--Lean Forward

Why is it important for students to be confident?

Student Confidence & Self-Esteem. Student confidence is an important factor in educational success. ... When a child loses student self esteem, they may lose motivation in learning. By building confidence in students, parent and educators can safeguard the most important ingredient to success: motivation.

Student Confidence & Self-Esteem

Student confidence is an important factor in educational success. As more students are facing bullying and harassment, confidence in school can suffer and when this occurs, grades often suffer. Building confidence in students is one of the most important steps educators and parents can take to ensure an atmosphere for learning. If a child is suffering from bullying, immediate steps must be taken to correct the situation and rebuild student self confidence. When a child loses student self esteem, they may lose motivation in learning. By building confidence in students, parent and educators can safeguard the most important ingredient to success: motivation.

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Student confidence is vital to his or her success. The amount of student self confidence a child possess will affect every aspect of his or her educational goals. If a child loses confidence in school, his or her grades will ultimately be affected. When student self confidence suffers, a child may give up on his or her hopes, dreams, and plans. They may feel they are unworthy of obtaining their goals or think it is impossible to achieve them. Building confidence in students can help prevent student dropout rates, ensure kids maintain their love for learning, and help them achieve their dreams and goals by staying in school and going to college. There is no question that the relationship between student confidence and educational success is tightly intertwined. Confidence in school is one of the most important areas, outside of academics, where educators and parents can help improve performance.

One of the best ways to improve confidence is to engage kids in various self esteem activities for students. By boosting self esteem in students, children who may come from less than desirable home settings can learn skills that foster a sense of community and respect. Students self esteem is directly related to their school performance. By ensuring that student self esteem is healthy, the environment for learning becomes one where education and learning thrives. Self esteem activities for students are an excellent way to help boost a child’s confidence and increase learning. Many self esteem activities for students can be used including those that are used in an individual as well as classroom setting.

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Students self esteem can successfully be built and those who are struggling with confidence can make improvements. It is imperative; however, that educators and caregivers take a proactive interest in students self esteem and make certain they address issues as they arise. Student self esteem can be built up from birth to the school age years. Wise parents take steps to build children’s confidence so that students self esteem is not hindered later in life. Self esteem in students is one area where parents have an incredible impact. Parents that have violence in the home, or use negative words when speaking to their children, may not realize the damage that is being inflicted upon a child’s self esteem. In these situations, it is imperative that children are exposed to educators or other people who are a positive influence and help build the child’s confidence. No matter what a child’s home life or personal experiences, it is never too late to begin building self esteem in students. By doing so, you may be influencing a child in more ways than you could ever imagine.

How do I gain confidence?

1. Taking control of your self-confidence. If you are low in self-confidence, is it possible to do things that will change that? ...
2. Groom yourself. ...
3. Dress nicely. ...
4. Photoshop your self-image. ...
5. Think positive. ...
6. Kill negative thoughts. ...
7. Get to know yourself. ...
8. Act positive.

Fight back with one of these confidence-boosting tips.

1. Play dress-up. One of the quickest and easiest ways to boost your confidence is to fake it. ...
2. Put on a happy face. ...
3. Do a good deed. ...
4. Challenge yourself. ...
5. Do something you love. ...
6. Stop procrastinating. ...
7. Relax. ...
8. Celebrate your achievements.

Try these 10 tips to get over your nervousness and to develop confidence while speaking.

1. Expect to be nervous. Even experienced speakers get nervous. ...
2. Prepare. Know what you are going to say – and why you want to say it.
3. Practice. ...
4. Breathe. ...
5. Rehearse. ...
6. Focus on your audience. ...
7. Simplify. ...
8. Visualize success.
9. Connect with your audience.
10. Act confident.

1. 
   

How to Develop Confidence Speaking

Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

Most people report that giving a speech is their greatest fear. And yet the ability to give a speech is one of the most valued business skills today.

Try these 10 tips to get over your nervousness and to develop confidence while speaking.

1. Expect to be nervous.

Even experienced speakers get nervous. Don’t try to eliminate your jitters. Turn them into energy you can use to boost your delivery.

2. Prepare.

Know what you are going to say – and why you want to say it.

3. Practice.

Speak to supportive audiences in small forums where less is at stake – at a staff meeting or a PTA meeting. Join Toastmasters or take a Dale Carnegie course. Work with a coach.

4. Breathe.

In the thirty seconds before you begin speaking, take three slow, deep breaths through your nose, filling your belly. As you breathe out, say silently to yourself, “Relax.”

5. Rehearse.

Stand up and walk around as you practice out loud. Don’t memorize your speech or practice it word for word. Talk it through, point by point. Imagine you’re explaining your main ideas to a friend.

6. Focus on your audience.

Stage fright is rooted in self-preoccupation. (“How am I doing?” “Am I making any sense?”) Stop focusing on yourself. Focus, instead, on your audience. (“How are you?” “Are you getting this?” “Can you hear me?”)

7. Simplify.

Most speakers try to do too much in a speech. Then they worry about leaving something out or losing their train of thought. Aim, instead, to communicate one basic idea. Keep it short and simple.

8. Visualize success.

Practice relaxation techniques in the days before your presentation. Lie down or sit comfortably in a quiet place. Breathe slowly. Close your eyes. Imagine your upcoming speaking engagement. Picture yourself speaking with confidence.

9. Connect with your audience.

Make the audience your allies. Talk to individuals before your presentation to get to know them. Look them in the eye as you speak to them, one person at a time. When your audience sides with you, your job as a speaker becomes easier.

10. Act confident.

People won’t see how nervous you are. (They can’t tell if your palms are sweating or your knees are knocking or your heart is pounding.) So don’t tell them. Smile. Stick your chest out. Look confident, even if you don’t feel it.

BUILDING CONFIDENCE

Try to recondition the way you think about your life:

1. Know your strengths and weaknesses. ...
2. We all make mistakes. ...
3. Accept compliments and compliment yourself. ...
4. Use criticism as a learning experience. ...
5. Try to stay generally cheerful and have a positive outlook on life.

Confidence is not something that can be learned like a set of rules; confidence is a state of mind. Positive thinking, practice, training, knowledge and talking to other people are all useful ways to help improve or boost your confidence levels.

Confidence comes from feelings of well-being, acceptance of your body and mind (self-esteem) and belief in your own ability, skills and experience. 

Low-confidence can be a result of many factors including: fear of the unknown, criticism, being unhappy with personal appearance (self-esteem), feeling unprepared, poor time-management, lack of knowledge and previous failures.

Confidence is not a static measure, our confidence to perform roles and tasks can increase and decrease; some days we may feel more confident than others.

Confidence and self-esteem are not the same thing, although they are often linked. Confidence is the term we use to describe how we feel about our ability to perform roles, functions and tasks. Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves, the way we look, the way we think - whether or not we feel worthy or valued. People with low self-esteem often also suffer from generally low confidence, but people with good self-esteem can also have low confidence. It is also perfectly possible for people with low self-esteem to be very confident in some areas.

Performing a role or completing a task confidently is not about not making mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable, especially when doing something new. Confidence includes knowing what to do when mistakes come to light and therefore is also about problem solving and decision Making.

Ways to Improve Confidence

Planning and Preparation

People often feel less confident about new or potentially difficult situations. Perhaps the most important factor in developing confidence is planning and preparing for the unknown.

If you are applying for a new job for example, you would be wise to prepare for the interview. Plan what you would want to say in the interview and think about some of the questions that you may be asked. Practise your answers with friends or colleagues and gain their feedback.

There are many other examples of planning for an interview, perhaps you should visit the hairdresser before you go. How are you going to travel to the interview, how long will the journey take? What should you wear? Take control of unknown situations the best you can, break down tasks into smaller sub-tasks and plan as many as you can.

Learning, Knowledge and Training

Learning and research can help us to feel more confident about our ability to handle situations, roles and tasks.

Knowing what to expect and how and why things are done will add to your awareness and usually make you feel more prepared and ultimately more confident. Learning and gaining knowledge can sometimes make us feel less confident about our abilities to perform roles and tasks, when this happens we need to combine our knowledge with experience. By doing something we have learned a lot about we put theory to practice which develops confidence and adds to the learning and comprehension.

First-time parents to-be may well feel nervous and less than confident about having a baby. They are likely to buy books or visit websites which can offer advice and dispel some of the mysteries. They are also likely to talk to other parents to gain knowledge and understanding.

In the workplace, training may be provided for staff to teach them how to manage or work with new systems and procedures. During a period of organisational change this is particularly important as many people will naturally resist changes. However if those affected by the changes are given adequate information and training then such resistances can usually be minimised.

Positive Thought

Positive thought can be a very powerful way of improving confidence.

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.

Helen Keller - Author, political activist, and lecturer. The first deaf and blind person to earn a BA degree in the US.

There is a lot of information about positive thinking both online and in print. The basic rules of positive thinking are to highlight your strengths and successes and learn from your weaknesses and mistakes. This is a lot easier than it sounds, we often dwell on things that we are not happy with from our past - making them into bigger issues than they need to be. These negative thoughts can be very damaging to confidence and your ability to achieve goals.

Try to recondition the way you think about your life:

• Know your strengths and weaknesses. Write a list of things that you are good at and things that you know need improvement. Discuss your list with friends and family, inevitably they will be able to add to the list. Celebrate and develop your strengths and find ways to improve or manage your weaknesses.
• We all make mistakes. Don't think of your mistakes as negatives but rather as learning opportunities.
• Accept compliments and compliment yourself. When you receive a compliment from somebody else, thank them and ask for more details; what exactly did they like? Recognise your own achievements and celebrate them by rewarding yourself and telling friends and family about them.
• Use criticism as a learning experience. Everybody sees the world differently, from their own perspective, what works for one person may not work for another. Criticism is just the opinion of somebody else. Be assertive when receiving criticism, don't reply in a defensive way or let criticism lower your self-esteem. Listen to the criticism and make sure that you understand what is being said, use criticism as a way to learn and improve. See our page: Dealing with Criticism for more information.
• Try to stay generally cheerful and have a positive outlook on life. Only complain or criticise when necessary and when you do, do so in a constructive way. Offer others compliments and congratulate them on their successes.

So many successful people credit their sense of self and their confidence to their success. But not many people really explain how to build confidence, or how to become confident. It's tricky, because confidence is built on different things, but overall it is built on choices and accomplishments that feed your passion, and that make you feel happy and proud of who you are. Discovering these things is one of the most worthwhile pursuits of you life. BE CONFIDENT....FLY HIGH!!!!