Confident Not Cocky

Where is the line between confidence and cockiness?

How do you know if it is empowering you or limiting you?

As I traveled through the NFL, I had a coach that each year would gather the new set of rookies the day they got in the building. He would sit this group of newly donned professionals in the team meeting room.

He would begin to congratulate them on what they have achieved and share with them the NFL that was now laid out for their taking. As he wrapped up his demeanor and tone would begin to change, raising the excitement of kids in their dream candy shop.

"This is the NFL! This is the best of the best! You are now expected to compete with those guys you watched on TV, expected to beat your heroes. Do you feel that?"

The room full of young dreamers would look at one another and nod their heads saying, 'yes sir'.

The coach would continue "That is the energy you are going to bring to this team, to my family?! Look on the wall, that is us at the Super Bowl, look at him that is a 12 year All Pro. Do you Feel me?"

The players would bump one another and begin high fiving, their excitement building.

Finally, the coach would stand, inviting the group of young men to match his excitement and ask, "Do you feel like you are a part of this team, like you have earned this (pointing to the logo on the wall)?"

The room would uproar, every year the energy was too infectious. The na?ve rookies would be standing, jumping, shoving one another screaming.

That is when the coach would settle them back down and say "THAT! Is your first mistake. Believing you have earned, believing you are owed is an external message that will get you nothing. You must be able to separate two mindsets - cockiness and confidence."

This coach has seen every off season for the past 20 years a new set of rookies show up and begin to tell everyone how good they were in college, whose job they are here to take, and how much they plan on making in the League. This cockiness and belief that they were already owed something is never received with its hopeful intentions. In fact, this external noise has a negative impact on the player's position among the team.

Young players are na?ve to think veterans will listen and believe. That a veteran will hear the words of a young buck and think that this new player can do anything they are saying. There is a quote every new or young addition needs to understand - 'It is better to be seen, than to be heard'.

What this rookie inexperience overlooks are the importance of their internal voice, that voice in between your ears, the one that is loudest when no one is around. This voice must be the first to say, 'I can do this' or 'I can belong'.

Belief in what you will do, not entitled to what you feel you have done.

This ability to believe in yourself and internally, not externally, say 'I can be a Pro' is the first step in becoming a professional. Down deep, if you do not believe you belong, no matter if it is out on that field or in that meeting or on that assignment, no one else will believe either.

But Confidence cannot be heard, it must be seen, and it must be felt.

Harness your external voice, the ego, because when others interact with your ego, they will feel a sense of cockiness and this will get you nowhere.

Remember, your internal voice is to an audience of one and when you interact with it you will feel a sense of confidence that can take you from point A to point B.

The first person that must believe in your dream, is YOU!

This mindset begs the question, If you do not have confidence in yourself, who can have confidence in you?

'Imposter syndrome' is real and you must avoid the temptation to cross the line into cockiness while at the same time believing you will achieve.

Cocky - I have accomplished my dream of being an NFL player

Confident - I can be the best player I can be

"You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them" Michael Jordan

One of the key principles at Amazon is that every colleague is encouraged to Think Big!

The messaging is not to 'speak big', or 'act big', but have your internal voice be one that believes you can achieve big things. Your cocky attitude that tells everyone what thing you have done today is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Have the confidence to believe your world can continue in a bold direction, this undertaking takes a tremendous amount of confidence.

Take Action:

- Write out a skill or task that you are confident in.

- Write out something that pertains to money you are confident in.

Write out an area of life you will challenge yourself to Think BIG!

About The Author: Jedidiah Collins is a former NFL player, Author of Your Money Vehicle, Speaker, & CFP. He helps individuals eliminate the gap between potential and success. Download his financial literacy app here.