Confidence...it's not a bad thing

One of the definitions of confidence is having a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.

But getting there can be quite an internal battle, especially if from the start confidence or confident people is not something that is common around you. In my earliest years that I can remember, a lack of positivity and confidence escaped our family. It seemed we were always getting from one crisis to another. After a while you can begin to believe that's just the way thing are going to be.

As a kid I was not confident outwardly, but inside I had this burning desire to have a positive outlook and to gain confidence. But first I had to take risks to build confidence. I vividly remember in the 2nd grade my math teacher had me get up in front of the class and explain how I was able to so quickly get through a test she had given and score an A+...I remember being scared to death to stand there and write on the chalkboard showing how I saw the problem and solved each one. And true to form with how kids can be...some called me teachers pet and others flicked my ears. So gaining confidence from that experience was not as expected.

I quietly continued to work on staying positive through grade school, as we moved from town to town, moving seven times - my dad trying to find steady work and me trying to build confidence over and over again while trying to make friends which were always short term.

But a major change happened in the 6th grade when we settled once and for all in my dads hometown, where he grew up and he was confident. I had never played organized sports up until that time, but I desperately wanted to play football and run track. I had one thing going for me...I was fast. I was not big or a vicious hitter, but I could outrun almost everyone on the team and other teams. My confidence skyrocketed and I became a receiver, then a safety, then later a running back and even played defensive end...because of my speed. The same thing happened in track, only that I excelled more in track because other than relays, I only had to depend on myself. I could be as critical as I needed to be, to me. My 9th grade track coach was the first to tell me that I was my own worst critic which I did not understand but came to fully understand later.

I went on to complete in mathematics competitions at the state level and track as well...all the while gaining more confidence, but still not satisfied. I still lacked the confidence to be a leader of others...I considered myself a good teammate but mostly I depended only on myself to get things done. I felt like it depended on me to make the team successful...but I was so wrong.

What I missed out on was using the opportunity I had to be the vocal leader of those who were my teammates, I saw others in that way and took the easy out to let them take the leadership role. All because of a lack of confidence.

All of these experiences prepared me for adult life, I was able to reflect on what actions I did not take versus what I was comfortable in doing while watching other move further along that I did...and I was determined to not continue on that path.

When I entered my work life, on my own, making my own way and looking for opportunity...my confidence was gaining momentum. What I learned quickly was that the extra effort was putting myself on a path for growth and development. When an opportunity for a new position opened up I put in for it, when an extra shift was open, I took it. When there was a dirty job to do I did it. Some might say, that's just simple good work ethic, but I say my confidence pushed me to do those things because I could see where I wanted to go and the only way to get there was by proving my value...nothing earned is nothing gained my dad always said.

I used my own experiences with the struggle to gain confidence in how we raised our children...they always saw positivity is us, in everything we did and a can do outlook on life. Call it the glass half full perspective if you will...but I will say to anyone, confidence is elusive to many. And confidence can be misunderstood by some, so it is important to keep confidence in check at times...as not to be over confident or even foolish. No one wants to be a confident fool.

Over time, another passion develop and that was to given back, calling upon and using all the experiences which had provided to me with perspectives I believed would be helpful to others. When I began volunteering within the industry I worked and with civic, church and other groups it provided me with another level of confidence...in my own intellect.

As I look back on my career, from starting at the very bottom of the ladder, and having the confidence in my knowledge, ability and ideas to take on bigger tasks. To be a leader to others, not of others. I have to pinch myself because my vision way back in high school did not have me where I am today. How confidence played a role in where I have ended up is of huge significance and one that I am so thankful for...I have to credit Mrs. Simpson, my 2nd grade math teacher for seeing something in me which I had no idea existed.

Be confident in everything you do, have the humility to accept and admit mistakes and give others credit...because confidence without checks and balances can easily be seen as arrogance.