The Confidence Trap: Why You DON'T Need it to Do Big Things

Have you ever looked at someone seemingly confident and accomplished and wondered, "How do they do it?" Internally, do we incorrectly assume they must feel that way all the time??

I've put out content only to be terrified and uncertain before hitting "publish." But some of my most impactful work has come from my most vulnerable moments.

My dear friend and SPARKED Braintrust advisor, Jenny Blake recently shared her own story with me. For years, she's run a successful business and published multiple books. From the outside, you might assume she's always confident. But Jenny shared how behind the scenes, she struggles with self-doubt constantly.

So here's what I wonder: What if confidence is not a static state we achieve once and for all? What if struggle and vulnerability are actually part of the journey for all of us, even experts and high-achievers? And, what if we could share that part of our journey, honor it, and STILL know we’re capable of providing value to others?

In a recent episode of the SPARKED podcast, Jenny illuminated and dove deep into these questions. And, she shared a deeply vulnerable moment that she’s living, sharing and serving her way through in real time.?

After losing two major clients in the same week, self-doubt and fear became near-constant companions. Yet through sharing her struggles authentically in a then “secret” Substack she created (and that she reveals), Jenny found a way to provide unexpected value to others simply by letting them know: "You're not alone."

Her story highlights the paradox that expertise and confidence don't ensure we'll always feel that way internally. We're human beings, not robots. But our perceived "messiness" can actually complement the value we offer.

So my question for you is:?

When have you looked at someone "on top" and made incorrect assumptions about their inner state? How might embracing your own humanity and authenticity provide value in its own way?

Here are three powerful truths that emerged through our conversation:

Struggle is Part of the Journey

Imagine if you could provide value to others effortlessly, without ever struggling or doubting yourself? For most of us, that's just not reality. Confidence comes and goes. Letting yourself feel all your emotions - including insecurity and uncertainty - can actually propel you forward. There is energy in these states, and part of our job is to not only fully feel and honor it, but also look for paths to tap its power.

Let Them Know They're Not Alone

The biggest value you might offer, especially when you’re “going through it,” may come simply from sharing, and letting others know they're not alone in their struggles. You don't need to have all the answers to share your truth authentically. Jenny launched a Substack, Rolling in Doh (brilliant name, btw) where she shares her life as a "breadwinning business owner living in the mess." Beyond tips, her writings simply say: "I see you. You're not alone." And that has provided huge value for others.

Humanity Complements Expertise

You can still provide value and be competent - even while personally struggling. Showing your full human experience can even complement, not diminish, the expertise you offer.

Offering a more holistic view of ourselves - the good and the "mess" - can actually make our wisdom more authentic and useful for others. You see this in speakers all the time. Those who take the stage with polished, meticulously controlled, have it 100% together imagers often don’t resonate as powerfully as those who share their vulnerability and humanity.?

Make space for your humanity at work. Your struggles do not disqualify you from the capacity to contribute deeply.

The next time you're doubting yourself, remember: struggle is human. Simply by letting others know they're not alone, you're providing more value than you realize. Tune into the fuller SPARKED conversation with Jenny Blake below or on your favorite podcast app for more on sharing your humanity at work in a way that truly inspires.

#inspiration #Mentoring #Lessons

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