Confidence is...

Hello and a warm welcome back to each and every one of you Mindset masters! Thanks for joining me again.

I asked my two boys what I should write about to do with mindset this week, my eldest son Oscar (10) said

Write about how you've been mega ill, and you decided go for a run and a plank instead of staying in bed.

So here goes:

I don't get colds. I remember as a teen in my first office job the same people every year would talk themselves into getting a cold "I've got a cold coming" and sure enough it would arrive.

So I guess I've been fascinated by the power of self talk for a long time. My self talk has always been "I don't get colds". My body follows the instruction and I'm generally bulletproof to sniffle season.

This year was different. Both boys picked up the latest nuclear grade cough cold sore throat doing the rounds at school, my wife and I couldn't escape.

So as Oscar said, I had a choice, keep running seven miles every other day and keep planking for five minutes every single day, or give myself an out.

I chose the former.

There's a message in here which ties in with mindset coaching somewhere.

You get to choose

• how you respond to the situation you are presented with (the cold).
• how you describe "pesky sniffle" or "I've got a really bad flu".

The situation itself? It is what it is, just what is apparently happening. How we interpret, describe, respond to it, that's on us. This philosophy can apply to anything, you get to choose.

I hope you enjoy this week's topic, it's a big one!

This week's topic: Confidence.

The holy grail? It might be.

Having coached over 100 people from scientists, musicians, psychologists, innovators, disruptors, founders, MDs, CEOs, the subject of confidence always comes up.

I'd like to share my insights with you all:

??Confidence means something a little different to everyone.

??Extroversion does not equal confidence.

??Comparison is the enemy of confidence.

??External validation will never be enough.

I’ve had the privilege of helping so many people completely transform their own understanding of confidence, and with it their beliefs about themselves.

You define confidence

When you define what confidence truly means (to you) and where it comes from (within you) you can learn to embody it in each moment. Confidence is an inside job. You 100% get to choose.

Extroversion

This is a common misconception that extroversion means confidence. In fact many of the extroverts I've coached have been the least confident, appearances can be deceptive. Which brings me to the next insight...

Comparison

When we fall into the trap of comparing how we feel on the inside, to how others appear on the outside, we are always going to feel lacking. Not a fair contest. Comparison is the enemy of confidence.

External validation

Perhaps the greatest insight. When our own sense of confidence is dependant on external validation, we are always at the whim of what is apparently happening around us. The part we have close to no control over.

The thirst for external validation will never be sated.

What about you?

Where do you think confidence comes from? If you believe "some people are just born with it" then you will prove yourself right every single time.

If you think "confidence is within me, I just have to be prepared to find it" then you'll also be absolutely right.

As always, you get to choose.

When you're ready to find your own confidence, and with it totally transform your results, you can book a free 45min welcome call with me to find out how.

Thanks for reading! Please share this with anyone who needs to see it, subscribe, and I'll see you next week.