Will and Confidence.

These two words are fascinating; in 'dark times of the soul', I find myself coming back to them constantly.

Will is not some future tense - it is in the present. I "will" fire into being by striking a match on the side of its box or flipping a light switch. I will order by folding quilts and picking up pillows, placing them in orderly patterns in the room. I create. I make my 'will' known. I influence the world around me. When I am in my dark moments, I use will to create a sense of order and control, and they invite their little friend satisfaction along.

Confidence is not 'feeling good' or satisfaction. It's much like satisfaction, where it tags along uninvited. It is the result of observing repeated behavior over time, and observing a higher probability of a likely outcome (thank you, 8th grade math teacher). You repeat an action or experience, and through observation of a repeated outcome, you come to a likely prediction - a higher probability - a 'confidence'.

Through will and confidence, we make small changes in our world, and establish a repeated experience. Through this, we create a higher sense of forward movement, which leads to fulfillment of a primary human need - safety. 'I have the ability to relax and be more myself, instead of looking for danger'. This allows me to plan better, dream better, and progress. This is the way of humans - to utilize darkness, and on the edge of "there be dragons", establish a group, a village, a city, a nation, a world, and eventually colonize a galaxy. The very fact that we humans can take darkness and dream absurd goodness fills me with hope.

Have a good day. May the darkness we share today fill us all with such crazy hope.