Confidence Isn’t the Starting Point. It’s the By-product of Courage.

?“Fake it ’til you make it” doesn’t cut it. Discover why courage comes first and how real confidence is built.

Confidence Isn’t the Starting Point. It’s the By-product of Courage

“Fake it ’til you make it.”

“Believe in yourself.”

“Confidence is key.”

“Walk in like you own the place.”

We’ve all heard these clichés. They get tossed around at leadership workshops, printed on coffee mugs, and slapped on Instagram quotes.

But none of that helped me the day I had to face a room of 300 healthcare leaders, reporters, and peers, waiting for me to deliver a speech I didn’t even know I was giving.

I was on the train to Cardiff, heading to officially receive my honorary membership of the Royal Pharmaceutical Society for distinguished services to my profession. It was supposed to be a proud, polished moment.

Then I got a text from my friend:

“Can’t wait to hear your speech! You’ll smash it.”

Speech? What speech?

My heart raced. My mind spiralled. I had one hour left of my train journey, zero plan, and a room full of nationally acclaimed healthcare leaders and reporters about to hear me say… what, exactly?

And some of them? They weren’t even rooting for me. Politics. Age. Being a woman. Not being a “yes” person. You know how it goes.

I grabbed serviettes from the buffet cart, pulled out a pen, and started scribbling like my life depended on it. My mind wouldn’t stop:

?? What can I say that won’t fall flat?

?? Will they see through me?

?? Does this outfit even look right?

By the time the train pulled into Cardiff, I was drowning in self-doubt.

But I didn’t bolt.

Luckily my dear friend and biggest cheerleader CD was waiting by the door and handed me a glass of bubbly (legend), for a non drinker it went down faster than I care to admit, then I walked into that hall.

I shook hands with the president, stepped up to the mic, and somehow delivered a speech laced with lemony wit, sarcasm, and a few laughs.

It wasn’t perfect. But it was me.

The applause? It was real.

But I wasn’t confident. I was terrified.

What got me through wasn’t confidence. It was courage.

And that’s where so many people get it wrong. Confidence isn’t something you need before you act. It’s what you earn because you acted.

Confidence Isn’t a Prerequisite. It’s a Result.

Ninety percent of the women who apply to work with me say the same thing:

“I just want to feel more confident.”

But confidence isn’t something you stumble across. It’s built, piece by piece, by stepping into the unknown and doing the damn thing scared.

Courage first. Confidence second.

That’s it.

People think confidence looks like walking into a boardroom with swagger or giving a flawless TED Talk. But the kind of confidence that sticks? It’s the kind that shows up after you’ve navigated something messy, real, and wildly imperfect.

So stop waiting to feel confident.

You have to move while your voice is still shaking.

The Courage Loop: Your Fast-Track to Confidence

Here’s how to own it:?

1. You take action, even when you’re scared.

??????2. You realise you didn’t crumble.

??????3. You feel a little more solid.

??????4. Next time, you go bigger.

??????5. Confidence starts to stick.

This isn’t about faking it until you believe it. It’s about proving to yourself, over and over, that you’re capable of more than you thought.

13 Lemony Snippets to Build Unshakable Confidence

1. Courage Over Confidence

Stop waiting for the “right time.” It’s not coming. Move now. Confidence will catch up.

2. The Cardiff Serviette Test

When panic hits, scribble your thoughts fast. Forget perfect. Done is what matters. Magic happens in messy drafts.

3. Build a “Brag Bank”

Save emails, messages, and compliments. When your inner critic gets loud, this is your proof.

4. Identify Your Confidence Kryptonite

Know your triggers. Senior leadership meetings? Networking events? Spot where your confidence dips and prep for it.

5. Master Your Recovery, Not Perfection

Perfection is a myth. What counts is how fast you bounce back when things go sideways.

6. Quiet Power Speaks Loudly

Loud doesn’t equal strong. The most impactful leaders command attention with calm.

7. Create a Courage Ritual

Before every big moment, ground yourself. Breathe deep. Play your power playlist. Scribble on serviettes. (Hey, it worked for me.)

8. Flip “What If I Fail?” into “What If I Win?”

Your brain loves worst-case scenarios. Teach it to explore the best ones too.

9. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Growth lives in discomfort. If you’re not cringing occasionally, you’re not stretching.

10. Phone a Friend Strategically

When doubt creeps in, talk to someone who sees your brilliance clearly. Borrow their belief until yours kicks in.

11. Document Every Win, No Matter How Small

Navigated a tough conversation? Landed a project? Add it to your confidence bank. Every win counts.

12. Cut the Comparison Loop

The woman building an empire doesn’t have time to compare herself to others. Stay in your lane.

13. Ask for What You Want

That promotion, that project, that opportunity. It won’t fall into your lap. You have to ask. Even if your voice shakes.

The Confidence Myth in Leadership

In leadership, especially in healthcare, confidence is treated like a must-have. You’re expected to have all the answers. Keep your cool. Navigate crises.

But you don’t need to have it all figured out to be a strong leader.

You need the courage to make hard calls, own them, and adjust when things don’t go as planned.

Confidence isn’t about certainty.

It’s about self-trust.

Your Turning Point Starts Here

If you’re still thinking, “Yeah, but I’m just not a confident person”, stop right there.

Confidence isn’t a personality trait. It’s a skill. And like any skill, it can be learned, strengthened, and sharpened.

But it starts with a choice.

The choice to raise your hand.

To ask the bold question.

To hit “send” on that gutsy email.

The leaders who make waves? They weren’t born confident. They got uncomfortable, made mistakes, owned them, and kept going.

Ready to Build Real Confidence?

If you have had a Cardiff moment and this blog hit's home and you’re done waiting for confidence to magically show up, I’ve got you.

Grab my FREE Confidence Creator eBook.

Inside, you’ll find affirmations, journal prompts, and no-nonsense strategies to help you stop waiting and start leading with courage.

[Hit reply with the word CONFIDENCE and I will send it over]

Or, when you’re ready for something deeper, let’s talk about how my 1:1 coaching can help you ditch self-doubt, quiet the inner critic, and build unshakable, lasting confidence.

Book your discovery call today.

Because you don’t need to fake it.

You just need someone who sees your brilliance, even when you’re still learning to see it yourself.

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