Confidence isn’t ‘they will like me.’ Confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’.
No one likes rejection. Some people have gotten comfortable with it, perhaps have even reframed it as something positive, but most of us prefer that other people approve of us and our choices.
It gives us a sense of security to know the people around us like us, understands us, supports our decisions, and generally think we’re good people who deserve love, respect, and kindness. It makes us feel confident in our place within a social structure and assured that we won’t be alone when we need people the most.
But the need for approval—from all people, at all times—can be extremely painful and limiting. And it’s a fool’s errand to seek mass approval, since no one is liked by everyone, and no one can ensure everyone they know agrees with everything they do.
We’re all different; we all have different backgrounds, value systems, perspectives, wants, needs, priorities, and goals. And we’re all prone to opinions and judgments, try as we may remain neutral and open-minded.
Founder at EBS Consultancy Group
3 年https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/chavihemanth/
HR & Wellness Consultant | Writer & Promoter of Optimism & Growth Mindset
3 年Sharann S. - They cannot give it to me unless I accept it! Don't take the bait!
HR & Wellness Consultant | Writer & Promoter of Optimism & Growth Mindset
3 年On this topic Sharann another thing comes to mind that I heard a long time ago that I want to shsre with you. The speaker said that out of all the people that you meet 25% will not like you no matter what right off the bat, 25% don't like you but could be persuaded, 25% like you but could flip to the not like side and the remaining 25% like you no matter what! I don't know how accurate this is scientifically speaking. So as a humorous spin on life when I encounter rejection I simply say Oh that is part of the 75% and if I encounter someone that likes me I say oh that is part of the 25% and leave it there! Bottom line is that the important thing is to like YOU and that is all that matters! Thanks Sharann S. !
Senior Technical System Analyst at Scotiabank
3 年Very good observation, may be this validation is rooted deep in us. From childhood, school college the validations is the most important ingredient to feel good. Where as a person we need to grow at a level where whole world can state their different opinion and if we are walking on the right path. Feel good factor should stay, no matter what ??
Lifelong Learner
3 年Wise words! ????