Confidence doesn't exist as an emotion.

An area in which many leaders struggle is presence and impact.

Over the years as a coach, I have worked with many male and female leaders who express their wish to be more confident. They relate confidence as a feeling.?

I discussed this topic with Deena, who works with leaders, helping them build their confidence and see this differently. As a result, she developed a postulation: Confidence doesn't exist as an emotion.?

Confidence is not a feeling.

Deena started life as an actress and a theatre Director. Her view is that confidence doesn't exist as a feeling. 'It is the polar opposite of comfort.

Confidence is a focus. It's a practice. Because confidence is involved in the same sphere as presence, it's not a talent. Confidence is not something you're born with. Instead, it concerns having an incredible, almost 360-degree awareness of what's happening.'

Understanding the relationship between physiology and psychology

'When working with someone, I first help them be clear about what they feel they could do if they increased their confidence. This involves guiding them through hardcore but straightforward steps to understanding the physiology of focus, not psychology.

This gives people an awareness of how to command psychology and understand the neuroscience of the amygdala. This is the part of your brain commonly thought to form the core of a neural system for processing fearful and threatening stimuli. It creates cortisol to protect you from danger. Nothing is more dangerous in our psychological makeup than the fear of shame. People kill themselves because they're weary of feeling ashamed or not belonging.?

The unconscious can do so much work overnight. That's why coaching works. Because the gaps between the sessions are when the real work takes place.

So, we need to learn the physiological tricks of grounding ourselves physically. For example, putting your feet on the ground, balancing your weight, focusing on the recipient, and being absolutely alert. Be aware of your body, your shoulders, and your scapula.

Be alert to what you hear, tell yourself, and be absolutely 100% aware of your surroundings.

When I watch my clients or participants in a workshop, it's truly magical to see them stumble, to begin with, and then - boom, they find their confidence. Then, once they have discovered the physiological responses they can control, we discuss a strategy to get their desired outcomes'.

The difference between self-esteem and confidence.

Occasionally people confuse self-esteem with confidence.

Deena feels these are worlds apart. She explained, 'Confidence is a verb in my world. It's something that you actively do, whereas self-esteem is a feeling. Confidence ignites courage and can help you to focus when communicating. Courage is the willingness to be afraid, to go boldly where you need to go.

In self-esteem, there is an acceptance of fear. But it's also having that delicious taste of doing something with utter competence and a cogent skill level. Your self-esteem will give you an awareness of your skills, and it flows just like confidence flows, but far greater. When we are in our flow, we are at our best, and our self-esteem is much higher. It happens on an unconscious level.

You can have an inordinate amount of confidence and no self-esteem. So for example, it is possible to deliver a confident speech but have a lack of self-esteem.?

Imposter Syndrome?

Our underinflated ego can translate into imposter syndrome, where we tell ourselves we are not good enough. For example, we might be able to stand up in front of a crowd and, from the outside, appear confident, but our inner thoughts are the exact opposite.?

Deena feels the term imposter syndrome should be renamed to imposter phenomena. She said, 'This is much less label-like! The word syndrome is often associated with disease'.

Imposter phenomena indicates you're successful.

If you struggle with your inner voice, and the inner critic tells you are not good enough, it's a sign that you're playing out of your comfort zone. This is a good place to be. We often need to appreciate how much progress we are making, what we're doing, and how we contribute to the world.?

So, it's good to get that if you're feeling uncomfortable. That's a positive sign.

To flow – take the time to do nothing.

Deena ended our conversation by discussing flow. She believes you must take time to do nothing to improve your flow.

This is scientifically proven.

So, learn to take time out, meditate, relax and spend time recharging. In turn, this will enhance your confidence.?

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If you need help improving your confidence, contact Deena Gornick .?

Over three decades of executive coaching and pitch/presentation rehearsal directing has given Deena Gornick sharp insight in to the practice of Presentation and Impact as a physical skill. Prior to this work, Deena was an actress and theatre director whose personal journey battling fear and stage fright brought her to facilitate others using their fear as an engine. In 1984 she left her native US to complete post graduate?theatre study in London, where she has since continued to live, discover, learn and work.

Fascinated by her own idea that confidence is not a feeling, but a behaviour, Deena trained to be a psychotherapist at the Psychosynthesis and Education Trust in London. Gaining the psychological literacy she desired she began coaching performance before coaching became a recognised discipline. In 1995 she qualified as a Practitioner of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).

What began as a passion for presentation skills and inspiring passion for performance grew to an in-depth understanding for the facilitation of assertiveness, team building, leadership, and confidence building. She runs training events from one-to-one, to one-to-2,000 on these themes. Deena is an experiential and inspirational leader and coach, inspired by her deep belief in the potential of every individual.?Deena prides herself on innovative events.

Deena is a regular speaker at international speaker events, where her presentations are always of an experiential and inspirational nature. Deena believes passionately that learning should be fun and this is borne out by client feedback. Creating a challenging and safe environment where clients are able to take risks and explore their potential, Deena’s warm style is informed by her fifteen years’ experience as an actor and theatre director.

Laughter is a massive learning tool, and she insists her participants learn through this vital tool. She has worked with literally every level within an organisation and brings her degree of insight from a vast degree of experience into her coaching and leadership development programmes.

Within her 1;1 Executive Coaching practise she has coached top level executive to board level women and men across the corporate space working regularly with such organisations as: HSBC, Barclays, Oliver Wyman, Baringa, Red Bull, Boston Consulting Group, RBS, Worldpay, M&G Investments, Bond Dickinson and Allianz.

Deena is currently writing a book about her personal journey with confidence aiming to make the physical practice of presence achievable to its readers.?