Confidence Can Be Learned

"Ok Kimi, it's your turn." My heart was beating so fast that I could feel it in my throat. My legs were shaking so much that I could barely stand, as I walked up to the crowd. I opened my mouth to speak, but forgot what to say! I immediately froze, saw all the people expecting me to speak, started crying, and ran off.

This was kindergarten. I was 6, and I remember it to this day: I was supposed to present on fractions. My line was literally, "1/4 is half of 1/2." Then I was to supposed to smile and allow the next person to talk. That's it! But I was so wrapped up in how people would perceive me that I didn't execute my part whatsoever. And to top it off, I embarrassed myself even more by running away.

Fast forward to now, where I get excited to get on stage and sing, speak, whatever the situation calls for. Do I get nervous? I reframed it to excitement- it's a different kind of energy. And it feels so much better when you're so congruent with yourself that you're not afraid to make a mistake. Because when you do (we're human), you have the focus and confidence to keep on rolling.

Example: Earlier this year my band and I added a new song before a big gig. We didn't get to practice it and I had to get in a relaxed mental state to recall the lyrics. Once the lights came on, and it was time to go, I let go of that mental state and forgot half of a verse. I ended up saying the same thing over and over. But guess what? Unless you're a DIE-HARD Iron Maiden fan, you probably didn't notice. Because I was having fun and confident in my performance.

I'd like to believe that I was born with confidence. (Only because I looked like a confident baby?) But, somewhere along the way, I developed a complex about how I show up in life. Maybe it was my collection of experiences, but I had to learn (or re-learn) confidence.

"Who do you want to be?"

The day I became confident was the day I understood my purpose - who I am and who I am becoming. I attribute this to a specific mentor who consistently asked me, "Who do you want to be?" As well as my recent personal and professional development over the last couple of years.

A part of my recent learnings is Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). It isn't just a set of techniques; it's a transformative approach that rewires our thought patterns and behaviors.

Imagine being able to reframe that fear of public speaking or any other self-doubt into a source of empowerment.

(Any Tony Robbin's fans here?) There are techniques like anchoring, where positive emotions associated with confidence are linked to specific triggers. By anchoring these feelings, we can access confidence at will, even in situations that may appear daunting.

You can learn to manage your emotional states, improve your overall mindset, and achieve personal breakthroughs.

If you've ever felt like you hit the pause button because of self-doubt or fear, consider having a conversation with an NLP practitioner. It's not just about confidence or public speaking; it's about transforming how you perceive yourself and the world around you.

In a world that teaches us what we should have or what we should do - personal development happens when you explore who you want to be.

Press Play on your life.

Kimiko " Kimi " Donahue has been called a human connector with an intuitive and empathic approach.

Kimiko wears many hats with flair—an Agency Success Manager at Openly, a Master Practitioner of NLP, MER?, and Hypnosis, a Certified Insurance Counselor, former amateur motorcycle racer & master-level competitive shooter. Her diverse skill set reflects resilience, creativity, and a commitment to continual growth.

She currently spends equal parts being a Mom, Singer, Artist, Insurance Leader, Podcast Co-host, Heavy Metal Lover, Guitar Player and Professional Empath.

Follow Kimi here.