Confessions of a Sleepwalker

Over the past 20 years, I've struggled with sleepwalking.

Not in a circadian-induced, middle-of-the-night way where I find myself in the living room without recollection.

No, I sleepwalked through different days, weeks, and even months of life in many areas.

Business, parenting, marriage, friendships, health, fitness, and yes, faith.

What does it look like?

• Going through the motions with my responsibilities.
• Being present 'enough' to check some boxes in group meetings.
• Scrolling on my phone while my toddler played next to me - for hours.
• Completing an assignment that met a good standard, but I knew my heart wasn't in it.
• Listening to my wife in a conversation(s) and giving a few "Interesting..." and "That must be tough." responses. Did I remember anything she said? Not really, but my radar was there in case she 'detected' my lack of focus.

Sound familiar?

It was scary, shameful, and disorienting when I realized how much I missed.

And the explanations (read: excuses) sounded noble:

• "I was so focused on building my business."
• "It's a lot to carry this much responsibility."
• "I'm constantly on the go, so zoning out at times was my way of 'self-care'. Did you want me to just burn out?"
• "I'm doing all of this for us. Why aren't you more grateful for all I've done?"

Confession: I was sleepwalking because my current level of impact was comfortable but underwhelming compared to my potential.

The comfort slipped into complacency. I ignored warning signs.

Ultimately, it cost me momentum, connection, and memories and pushed my business to the razor's edge of collapse.

That wake-up call opened my eyes to see I'm not alone in the Slumberland of Highly Qualified Sleepwalkers.

Business coaches, corporate consultants, financial advisors, health and wellness practitioners, and many other experts confide in me the same reality:

• "Jon, I've missed every one of my son's birthday parties because I was at conferences. The only day I've been home on his birthday was when I held him as a newborn in the hospital."
• "Jon, I didn't realize how much I hated my job until I left to start my business. Thirty years with [Fortune 100 company], and I hated who I was for most of those years..."
• "I don't remember anything from those six months. Maybe a meeting or a conversation, but yeah, I was mostly checked out."

All of those are direct quotes from clients of mine who are fresh awake from sleepwalking.

I still sometimes sleepwalk through moments in life. I did some sleepwalking this past week.

A great quote, conversation, and book are often the best smelling salts for a snoozing mind.

It leads to a key question...

Where are you sleepwalking through life?

"Whoa, Jon! Are you really assuming I'm asleep at the wheel in some way?"

Yes, because you're human.

The itchy reality is that we all have at least one area where we're mentally, emotionally, and/or relationally sleepwalking.

One area where I see this happen the most with financial advisors is relationships.

Your technical expertise - asset allocation, portfolio management, and investment selection - is superb, but your clients, prospects, and centers of influence (COIs) don't feel connected and important to you.

Is that too on the nose? This is me nudging your shoulder, maybe even shaking you awake.

Your purpose, message, relationships, and the legacy you're carving matter too much to sleepwalk through life.

Make today the moment you choose to see the world around you with eyes wide open.

And you may feel shame, resentment, or regret. "I can't believe I let myself do that!"

Or you can lean into gratitude, like I did.

We get to share life-changing, status-shifting, courage-liberating, and generation-igniting messages to a world waiting for us to help wake them up to a better tomorrow.

Your message matters too much to sleepwalk through life.

It's time to wake up.