Confessions of a Ghostwriter: Beautifully in Over My Head

Confessions of a Ghostwriter: Beautifully in Over My Head

Feeling overwhelmed?

The struggle is REAL.

A month ago I added a new retainer client to my roster (YAY!), and it just feels like I'm constantly running after time.

In the background, there's a battle raging between my shadow self who wants nothing more than to crawl under a warm blanket and sleep until the world goes away...

... and the new me I'm trying to create who set big, scary, audacious goals for this year.

It all feels too much.

I know it's not, though. I know I can handle this, I've done it before.

I 4xed my revenue last year. I ghostwrited 10+ e-books in one month last year. I worked 14-hour days last year. This - this current workload is nothing (so why does it feel heavier?).

(Side note: I suppose I should mention that I kinda burnt out after my two most productive months ever.)

Before, I could do 10,000 words a day because I silenced the inconvenience of grief, burnout, weariness, caring for others, and feeling - the voice that wanted to scream, the voice that told me to slow down, go to the family thing, go out with my friends.

Everything but work was inconvenient.

But eventually, the bottle we shove the inconvenient feelings and emotions of existence reaches capacity and it breaks.

And the years, the months, the hours of ignored emotion flood over you all at once.

It's overwhelming.

Now of course there's therapy, medication, books, and all that jazz to help one deal with the ocean of emotion and learn alternative, sustainable coping skills.

Still, the little one suddenly feels heavier because I'm choosing not to shove things into a bottle anymore. I'm choosing to navigate life (all of life) in the ocean.

And eventually, with help, I'll get a raft or a boat and the ocean will become a lake, then a pond, then a puddle. And my shadow self will need to learn (much to her chagrin) that those former comforts don't make the world go away.

But there's no going back. All you can do (all I can do) is learn to embrace all the joys and sorrows that life has to give.

Carole L. Haines

Author of The HisShadowings Devotionals, Poet, Wife, Friend, Mother, Artist, Encourager, Believer, Student of the Word of the Lord. A Devotee to Jesus Christ

1 年

Feeling it too girl. Life can run us ragged sometimes but O YES! Spring and warmth, sunshine and beauty are about to reinvigorate us all.

Lisa Galea

Disruptive Alchemist & Entreprenerd | Commercial Creativity | Leadership Training | AI Architect ?? Leaders that CARE make Moments Matter - Recharge your team in Byron Bay ?

1 年

Beautiful post, thank you for sharing. Finding out how to anchor myself regardless of the state of surrounding water me has helped me move forward.

Jennastar Clarke

Experienced wordsmith; talented escapist

1 年

Thank you for posting this! It resonates with me to the core! It’s so easy for people to think freelancing is the easy road, but it’s absolutely not! There’s so much sacrifice involved, especially when you’re weighing out your personal and professional self. This is excellent! Thank you again !

Manjima Sarkar

A dancer, researcher and writer occasionally turning to poetry for comfort.

1 年

A beautifully weaved reflective post. ??

Maceo Cabrera Estévez

Book Coach | Writing Workshops & Retreats for BIPOC Scribes | Co-Founder of Muslim Writers' Salon | Community Manager for Writing Communities

1 年

Healing is exhausting and challenging. Your future self is going to be thankful. This was a beautiful and honest reflection.

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