Confessions from an Abercrombie Model

“Go out on this field, and we would like you to all dance and make-out.”

They started playing the soundtrack of Justin Timberlake’s “Sexy Back”, on an open field outside of Austin, Texas, hoping to create a “magical moment”.

I’m 21 years old, I just signed with LA Models , and my first job is with Abercrombie & Fitch Co. .

I’m the only Asian American model out of over 30 models selected for the campaign, and I definetely feel like a fish out of the water.

Since it’s my first modeling campaign, I have no idea what to compare it to.?When you’re starting out in a new field, you don’t know what protocol is.?You don’t know what is considered “professional” or “normal” and what is not.?Back then, I was just a young student at 美国加州大学洛杉矶分校 , trying to make as much money as possible to put towards my next entrepreneurial venture, and also trying to keep myself from failing out of college despite shooting 2-3 modeling campaigns a month.?Little did I know, but Abercombie had been and would be entangled in many lawsuits many years later over diversity issues, sexual harassment issues and racism, and it would be one of the wildest and most unusual shoots I would partake in as a model.?Several weeks later, I continued to move on, and became the Asian American face for both 塔吉特百货 and 欧莱雅 and I found that working with them was much more of what I expected a modeling shoot to be like.

In the end, even though Abercombie kept me on for all 4 days of the shoot, they ended up not using my image for the campaign.?My previous self, right after the campaign came out, blamed me for not being a part of it– if I had made out on that field, or been open to nudity, would I have been the face of Abercombie??Was it because I was a woman of color, or Asian American that they did not feature me??But now I know that it’s important to not blame yourself, and I am proud to have stuck to what I felt comfortable with.?You can always go down the rabbit hole of “what-if” and it’s not worth it.

There were many things I learned from my first campaign as a model, and I hope this can help you in your career as well:

1. You need to know your boundaries, and it’s okay to say no.?When they started asking us to dance and start making out on the field, I knew it wasn’t for me.?I remember one model saying, “I’m like a bicycle, everyone can ride me whenever they want,” and me thinking– that’s definetely not me.?I knew that I didn’t want to do nudity and I didn’t feel comfortable making out with the other models. Much later, I found out that there were many sexual lawsuits against the company from other models (mostly men) and I’m relieved that I got through the shoot without feeling I compromised my values.
2. Bigger forces than you can often be at your work, and sometimes you’re just a pawn, and you don’t even know it.?Me being hired as the only Asian American model for the shoot, and one of the first Asian American models for the history of the company,?may or may not have been in response to pressure on them to have more diversity, and the racist Asian American t-shirt scandal they had several years earlier.?All of these things I found out much later after the shoot, thanks to a recent Netflix documentary produced by Alison Klayman .
3. It’s important to look at your past, and see how far you’ve come.?I’m proud to reflect back on this campaign, and see how far I’ve come not only as a model, but also just as a woman of color in general. Today, for every modeling shoot or professional speaking engagement I book, I know when I get overtime, I know when I may not be treated professionally, and I know when I may not be treated fairly.

When you start out in a new field, it can always be scary.?And you can often experience situations that may not be professional, but it is hard to know when to speak up, especially if you have no context.?Don’t be afraid to get advice from others, and stay strong . . . eventually you’ll get more experience, and find your voice.?

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