Confessions of an Expat ????

It's no secret, I love a good chat. Keeping my finger on the pulse is a challenge I thoroughly enjoy in my role as a leader.

It would be selfish if I kept all the insights and learnings from those conversations hidden from you. So this month in Mobility Matters, and with Chantel Ward 's permission I'm sharing the highlights of one of my favourite topics... The Expat Journey, the truth about living the dream.

What I love about Chantel's journey is that it isn't typical. Far from standard, her family made it happen on their own terms. Read on to find out how.

How it all started

Chantel put her toddlers to bed and sat down on her couch to watch International House Hunters. A glass of wine in her hand, she told her husband that it would be fun to live abroad but that it would have to be while the kids were still young.

Her husband is a licensed architect and as a former marine who had lived abroad before he loved her idea. They started a little checklist:

• Would he be able to get a job working for the government?
• English speaking countries only?
• Maybe Italy because they have great wine ??
• France sounds romantic right?

In March 2018, when her husband started applying for jobs he was offered one in Germany and one in Japan. Not really meeting the criteria above but when you aren't taking up a classic expat assignment you have to work with what you've got.

Now to decide. The safety of Japan and the proximity to traveling in Southeast Asia were the deciding factors. In September 2018 they were on their way. Born in North Carolina, Chantel had only ever left the US for their honeymoon but now she was moving her whole family to another continent.

We are ordinary people. We are risk averse.          

We've landed ... The reality

School abroad - This is an adventure for everyone

In Japan children have the option to attend kindergarten between the ages of 3 and 5. You might remember the famous Ted Talk about the open and circular architecture of one kindy outside Tokyo. Chantel's kids don't attend this one but she had to choose between an international school where the kids are taught in English or the local community one. Either way, choosing a different path than the one you took as a child takes guts.

My point is don't control them,?don't protect them too much,?and they need to tumble sometimes.?They need to get some injury.?And that makes them learn?how to live in this world. Takaharu Tezuka

This quote from the architect of the school is about little kids, but it could easily explain the expat experience. You are going to encounter some trouble but that's all part of it!

At her local school, 15% are foreigners from around the world. They translate some things like newsletters but otherwise google translate is her go to. Some teachers speak or write a little bit of English but she has to bring a translator to parent-teacher interviews. The bright side is that as a result of the immersive experience, her kids are now fluent in Japanese.

Having kids completely opened Japanese society for us.

How do you prepare to live abroad?

Chantel wished she had done more before she left the US. Particularly she wishes she would have had more language training like sentence structure and vocabulary. She explains the Japanese sentence structure to me as speaking like Yoda.

In English: Do you have your gym clothes?

In Japanese: Gym clothes you have them?

Cultural training is often placed as a nice to have in the list of typical assignment benefits but speaking to Chantel makes me think that it's not just about learning how to do business in another country that sets up an expat family to succeed. It's about how do we function in a new foreign land. From catching and riding the train (where everyone is silent in Japan and if your phone rings you are apologising to your fellow passengers for the inconvenience) to sorting out which school to attend.

The internet is full of resources.

Apparently there are YouTube documentaries and families that are sharing their lives for us to learn from. This was Chantel's favourite one for Japan . She found the information made her feel more confident to get out there with two young kids.

Sponsoring families to support your peers

Chantel told me about how she is a part of of a program to help other families settle in Japan. It's a system set up by her husband's employer to help others. It's free and helps the entire family acclimate. She helps explain how to get your license when you arrive and other pertinent matters for the new arrivals.

This sounds like a great option for those moving countries who are not receiving a standard benefits package. A way to give back to the community once you are settled in.

Finding a place to call home

Renting is very popular in Japan. Some people do it their whole lives.

Expats in Japan need a guarantor to rent a home ??. Expats will likely have to pay first and last along with a few extra months rents up front. You typically sign a two year lease in Japan. Landlords often see expats as high-risk as they might leave early and before the lease is up.

Chantel recommends getting help to secure a lease especially the further away from Tokyo you are.

If you want to read more about renting as an expat check out last month's edition .

Buying a home is an option, but for an expat if you don't have a Japanese bank account you will need to pay 75-80% as a down payment for a loan.

Feeling like a local yet?

Chantel has only been home once since 2018 due to Covid. Her young children feel closer to Japan than the US given they were only 2 and 3 when they first arrived in Japan. They wouldn't really be able to remember the US.

On their one visit they had questions like these:

Why is there so much grass that people don't walk on? 
Why are the cars so large?        

Chantel and I talked about being present in the country you are in. This can mean you are out of contact with the day to day life in your home country. Chantel added you are also out of context. You don't have the full picture and background to fully understand what's going on. In the beginning you can feel out of place in both places.

Can you stay in Japan forever?

Chantel knows two Africans that met at church and are now on the path to making Japan their forever home through citizenship.

Getting to a Japanese passport includes at least:

• You must speak Japanese
• You must be able to show how you have engaged in society
• You have to write a submission in Japanese for why you want to become a citizen and have an interview.
• Time is also a consideration. How long have you been there and how long can you legally stay.

A Japanese citizen cannot have two passports. The government does not allow dual citizenship. Chantel is not ready to give up her US citizenship so will eventually have to consider where they go to next.

When I asked Chantel if she is living the expat dream she replied:

I'm living the expat dream, but it's not the dream I thought it would be sitting on the couch on the night that would change our lives.

She spoke about three ways to be an expat in Japan

1. Extreme tourist - just quickly take as much as you can in every weekend, no rest.
2. Wow this is different and not what I was expecting or what I'm into. I'm really just going to do my time and leave.
3. Just be open to what Japan can gift to me and what I can give to it in return.

She said she has been through all three phases but she knows

I will not go back the same person.

American by birth, Australian by choice.?Ursula Lepporoli ?has lived experience. She brings compassion and understanding to the tax and policy expertise she provides to expatriates and employers. Sharing knowledge with the wider mobility community brings her joy.

With more than 17 years of Global Mobility experience she brings a strategic and practical perspective to every interaction. She prides herself on making tax fun but takes the responsibility of cutting through complexity seriously.?Follow her, and?subscribe ?to the Mobility Matters newsletter?here .

**The views expressed above are mine alone and are not tax advice. **