Confessions of an ex CEO-wannabe

A few years ago I was faced with challenges that kept me awake long into the night, specifically:

A) I *secretly wanted to become a CEO at some point, armed with burning ambitions, fantastic degrees including an MBA from a prestigious university, a brilliant resume & very relevant work experience. I had done everything right, I was ready! But, I also felt that I was wasting my potential, not moving fast enough, felt I didn't know what the next strategic moves should be & was wondering how to find an **interesting role that would also accelerate my career.

*I can't believe I'm admitting this, feels weird, but well, all of this is the truth! I write to make a difference in the world and holding back the truth isn't going to serve that purpose.

**In the roles I had until that point, I had loved the part where I was a manager entrusted with nurturing and growing teams and delivering fantastic results together, but hated it when I had to spend significant hours dealing with excel sheets and word documents. "Interesting" thus meant, flipping the proportion of people interaction vs. document work and doing work that moved the needle in terms of making a meaningful difference to the lives of customers and not promoting meaningless consumerism.

B) I felt exhausted every day, working 14+ hours a day including weekends. I knew I wanted this to change but was afraid that it'll slow me down. I wasn't eating or sleeping enough or on time. I didn't exercise at all. No time for hobbies. I also lost out on social circles because of my frequent absence.

I wanted help but didn't know whom to ask. I wanted to know above all that things will be all right, that I will find my way. I could rely on friends & family for comfort but wasn't sure whom to ask for unbiased, professional advice. Therapy did not seem to fit the bill. That's when someone suggested coaching to me. 

I was sceptical.

Coaching seemed like the next fluffy thing in the market which was highly overpriced. The promises seemed flaky. Also, I should be able to figure my stuff out myself, I am intelligent, smart and super resourceful. I resisted checking it out for a long time until one day enough was enough. Life couldn't go on like this, I wanted speed, I wanted success, I wanted a healthy lifestyle. The need was soon accelerated by sickness that flared up beyond control due to the prolonged stress, the climax of which was a 14-day hospital stay including 2 surgeries & 5-days at the ICU.

I was spending '000s (€) on holidays, TVs, my wardrobe & shoes, buying and eating meaningless junk anyway, then why not risk a part of that into coaching, see if something clicks, see if helps me move forward at all? I could try it out and stop the moment I realized there was no substance to it at all.

And so I took the plunge.

I was lucky enough to have a great first coach. It was initially irritating especially during those times when she nudged me into understanding why I wanted or did some things.

Couldn't she just understand that I wanted to be a rich, popular & successful CEO, that's it!? Period. I have no time to waste lady, I'm paying you s**t loads of money!

Over time her patient presence and gentle yet powerful questions helped me understand myself more, why I wanted certain things or experiences, and what I was really looking for in life, beneath the surface buried several layers deep beneath the convenient, superficial, "right" and "acceptable" answers. It all boiled down to what I valued in my life, the people and experiences for whom and which I did what I did, my WHY.

The wise third party perspective helped me step out of the tangled mess that was my life back then and find my own answers, with acceptance and gratitude for myself and the journey so far.

Over a few sessions, I was genuinely surprised by all that unfurled. I was indeed going through a transformation. I knew I was becoming a different and thankfully healthier version of myself, in my mind, body and soul. Making my choices from the knowledge of my personal values has since then made a difference to every living moment of my life.

Being coached was the spark that helped me start the journey to realizing my WHY. The choices at most times have felt scary and silly but highly empowering (e.g. when I felt bold enough to ask multiples questions to really clarify what work-life balance would look like for a job that I really wanted, right during the interview process). I continue to do so, more and more, in every aspect of my life. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Here's the deal. It's an investment, in oneself.

The '000s that my coaches charged have been humble investments in myself in terms of the huge strides I have made in terms of career, health, finances, happiness and relationships. It was worth it and I am worth it! I say that with honesty, it's not a sneaky sales pitch.

A couple of years ago, when I was doubting my place in the world, wanting to establish my own independent practice as a coach, I asked myself "there are so many coaches out there, why one more (me)?" a coach posed 2 powerful questions to me:

1) Given the levels of confusion and need in the world, can you afford to ask that question and stop yourself from supporting people, Meera?

2) If Beyonce or Oprah had stopped themselves by thinking that the world doesn't need another singer or media person, wouldn't we have lost out on such amazing talent? This is not to say that we all should be the most well known, super-sparkly-stars in our fields, but I respect and resonate with the need to continually seek for growth and excellence in one's chosen craft.

So that's it. My journey from wanting to be a CEO, to discovering what I really wanted, pursuing that and how coaching helped me figure things out for myself.

If you're at a point in your life where you need support, please reach out for a complimentary consultation. The investment that you'll make in yourself through coaching, should you decide to do so, will return itself in multiples over time, through different parameters including health, happiness, well being & finances (Finances, how? For e.g., when I coach women on raising their life quality including confidence, I also coach them on negotiation skills, asking for the job positions and salaries that they truly deserve, this directly goes into their bank accounts).

I am here for you, just a DM away.