Confessions of a Bad Boss: Three Things we can do better as managers.

I’d like to formally and publicly say that I am genuinely sorry for anyone I have supervised or managed before 2010. I have learned so much, and I want to share some things I learned along the way.

I teach a Managing People course at Pacific University, Masters in Nonprofit Leadership program. Before each program begins, I let my students know that what makes me uniquely qualified to teach this course is that I was a bad manager early in my career. They think I’m kidding, but I can probably come up with a quick list of people who would undoubtedly agree.

High performers are promoted because of their ability to get shit done and are not taught how to motivate and inspire others. I don’t think any of us intend to be bad managers, and often, we are praised, promoted, and compensated for our diligent efforts. Some people are natural at managing teams, and then there are the rest of us. Over the years, I’ve learned a ton about myself, what drives others, and how to build a high-functioning team.

One – micromanaging is a motivation killer. Maybe we are stressed, have deadlines, or are pressured by perfectionism. Micromanaging has deep roots in the fear of failure and the need for control. Micromanaging tells our team that we don’t trust them and that they must complete the project or task our way. What if we learned to delegate with solid guidelines for the project objectives and let your team problem-solve the best way to get it done? You could end up with a better outcome.

Two – Pick up the phone. I get it. We are busy and have a short time to get many things off our plates, so emailing is easy. But hear me out. Email is not the best way to communicate with staff or colleagues regarding performance, pay, or conflict issues. I have been through my fair share of email wars, and it has never been resolved until we were able to get on a call or meet in person. As the email receiver, we don’t have the verbal or physical cues needed to understand the intent of the sender’s email fully; without these cues, we interpret the sender’s intentions. If you are a chronic emailer, please pick up the phone instead of having the person at the end of the email interpret your intentions. If you are the recipient of an email that has sent you off the deep end, call the sender and get clarity on the tone of the email. It can reduce a lot of stress for everyone involved.

Three – Be interested. We are all trying to do the best we can with the tools and resources we have at the time. Each day is different depending on the situation. We can’t leave our home stress at home, and it’s virtually impossible that once we are clocked in at work, our worries will wait for us at the office door to pick up on our way out. We live complex lives, and we need to see each other as fully human, not the person we work with daily. Ask your team about their challenges, what inspires them, and their core values. As a manager, try to work with their personal goals and ambitions. For example, if an employee is enrolled in courses, support them when they need to leave early to get to class on time. Or, if you have a parent who wants to volunteer at their kids’ school or pick them up for sports practice, figure out how you can support them. I can already hear the HR manager having a fit right now. But figure out how to support your team with their home/family life, and you’ll have a more dedicated team member.

In the words of Maya Angelou, “Do the best you can until you know better, then when you know better, do better.”