Confessions of an AuDHD Employee: What I Try to Avoid Saying at Work

Effective communication in the workplace helps to foster collaboration, ensure clarity, and build professional relationships. For me, this has been challenging from time to time and can be for other autistic individuals. Navigating workplace communication can sometimes present unique challenges, particularly in situations like receiving feedback, discussing opinions, planning projects, etc. Understanding which phrases or responses might be less effective or potentially harmful can help in maintaining professionalism and enhancing interpersonal dynamics at work. Here, we’ll explore some phrases I try to avoid and alternatives that can be less abrasive to co-workers.

1. Dismissive Responses to Feedback

Example to Avoid: "That’s just how I am."

When I receiving feedback, it’s tempting to defend my working style or personality, especially if feedback feels personal (and it often can feel personal due to a comorbidity called rejection sensitivity dysphoria). However, this response can come off as dismissive and resistant to growth. Instead, I try acknowledging the feedback first and then discuss ways to address it, such as:

Improved Response: "I appreciate your feedback. Could we explore some strategies that might help me address this issue?"

This shows a willingness to engage and adapt, which is highly valued in professional settings.

2. Overly Blunt or Literal Interpretations

Example to Avoid: "That’s not right."

Directness is often appreciated, but in a professional environment, overly blunt statements, especially in response to someone’s opinions or ideas, can be perceived as disrespectful or confrontational. It’s beneficial to frame responses in a way that acknowledges the complexity of workplace issues:

Improved Response: "I see it differently because of [reason]. Could you explain your perspective further?"

This invites dialogue and shows respect for diverse viewpoints, fostering a more inclusive atmosphere.

3. Shutting Down Conversations

Example to Avoid: "I don’t want to discuss this right now."

While it’s important to set personal boundaries, outright refusing to discuss work-related topics can hinder communication and collaboration. If a topic is uncomfortable, it’s okay to request a change in the setting or timing of the conversation:

Improved Response: "I find this topic a bit challenging right now. Can we schedule a time to discuss this later, perhaps in a quieter setting?"

This response maintains openness to discussion while respecting personal limits.

4. Ignoring Social Cues in Conversations

Example to Avoid: "Let’s stick to the facts."

This has gotten me into some trouble in the past. While focusing on facts is important, completely disregarding emotional or social undercurrents can lead to misunderstandings. It’s helpful to acknowledge both the emotional and factual aspects of a conversation:

Improved Response: "I understand this is important to you. Let’s look at the facts together to see how we can address this concern."

This balanced approach respects both the emotional and logical dimensions of workplace interactions.

For me, and other autistic individuals, navigating workplace communication effectively means balancing honesty and directness with tact and empathy. By modifying responses to feedback and discussions, autistic professionals can contribute positively to their work environment, build stronger relationships, and promote a culture of open, respectful communication. Understanding and adjusting how we respond in certain situations can make a significant difference in professional success and workplace harmony.

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