Conducting Your Fear of Speaking

In previous editions, I spoke to you a little about fear being an emotion you cannot restrain, it is something that needs to be expressed or acknowledged somehow.

Now I share another perspective on this topic, and yes, those who know me well, understand that my broad experience does excite me to share different approaches to a topic.?

I like music. When I listen to a live orchestra play, my emotions move as the music carries me along with the story being told. Music can be scripted or improvised and in an orchestra setting, it is clear a conductor provides direction.

In my opinion, the conductor does not control the musical direction but instead guides the team of musicians. It is similar to our own fear of speaking publicly in different situations. You can be the conductor guiding how fear influences your speaking moments.

I learned (many times the hard way), that no matter the intensity of fear we feel leading up to, or during a speaking situation, we should not control it. I suggest you become a conductor of it and guide your fear into helping you speak your best at that moment.

Now here is a big question for you. How do you conduct your speaking fears in the musical score of your life?

For a long while, I never used to. I either ignored my fear by saying to myself “I overcame it” or “Just call it excitement”. The other example was I became excellent at avoiding it by ‘gifting’ people around me with the opportunity to speak and then becoming their number one cheerleader.?

This created a disconnection between me and my message, and also between me and the people around me. Yes, it is tough acknowledging this part of my experience, especially when a lot of coaches share more of their wins (reminder Susan, don’t compare).?

Being aware of how fear showed up in my speaking situations, helped me acknowledge it.

In my experience, making yourself aware of something that triggers a fear inside you and a bunch of other stuff that you don’t like experiencing is not easy, but there is an authentic power in it.

I found it easier to start this process with someone I trust who has no judgement but listens as a sounding board and bounces back to me some thoughts I can choose to consider or not.?

I would like to say this space feels safe but it doesn’t and nor should it because it is the first step of you getting out of your comfort zone which you believe is your safety zone. It does not mean you are not protected or alone, you can decide to get this level of support but this is part of you deciding to be the conductor of how fear serves you during your speaking moments.

Going back to the question, How do you conduct your speaking fears in the musical score of your life? Part of the early stage of the process of Speaking Afraid is being aware of how fear shows up and influences the many speaking situations you speak in daily. As a conductor of the musical score of your life, you need to decide to be aware of this and permit yourself to ponder on this question without judgement.

I suggest if you want to commit to answering this question for yourself, go to a location that calms you or brings you joy and then ponder away. If you need a sounding board to guide and support you through this step, I have Speaking Afraid programs and events so please reach out to me to learn more about them.

Please remember, Speaking Afraid is a process where you can use your fear of speaking in different situations, to authentically connect with your audience and guide you as you navigate your next career direction. Since it is a process, it is something you can learn and repeatedly use in the many different speaking situations you are in. Yes, the ROI you can get from the Speaking Afraid process is continuous if you want it to be.

I encourage you to embrace yourself as the conductor of the musical score of your life, become aware of how fear influences the many speaking situations you are in daily and reach out to me if you would like me to be your trusted guide on your journey of Speaking Afraid.

All the best, Susan.

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