Conduct an acid test on your life...

Conduct an acid test on your life...

Most people have dreams that they want to achieve in life. A lot of us, when we lay our heads on the pillow at night, think, “Is this life? Was that it?” and we become filled with despair because we realize that we are not truly living, only existing. This is completely normal. But the question is, are you going to listen to your dreams or soothe them with excuses? What keeps you from living the life you are dreaming of even though you have kids?

Conduct an acid test on your life

I am a big advocate of conducting an acid test on your life at least once a year and thoroughly analyzing your life. You can ask yourself if you are happy and try to describe how many times a week you feel happy. Do you have more good than bad days in a week? Contemplate whether you have worries that keep you awake at night. Ask yourself if you feel stressed. Involve your surroundings. What do your surroundings say about you? Are they saying that you seem absent and angry or happy and at peace? Ask yourself about your energy level because that is often a good indicator of whether or not you are on the right track. If you feel tired and out of sorts, then something is draining your energy, and it could be speculations, work, or challenges, which you should eliminate. 

If you want to become successful you should know that people only remember and recommend you if you make an impression. 

Think about how often you judge a person based on her energy level and charisma. That impression often counts for more than what the person actually said or did. Think about how you react when you meet a person who is involved, energetic, and knowledgeable. These characteristics are contagious, and you remember this person better than someone who is quiet and timid. 

The energy that you bring to the table and leave in the room is a part of your personal business card and image. 

Positive energy has become a valuable and sought-after quality because it separates people from the crowd. The opposite of energy is tranquility. Seeking a balance is important so that you stand out as a person with inner peace who delivers her message wrapped in positive energy. 

1. Identify your life values to determine what you stand for and what you should not compromise with. 

2. Find out what and who provide you energy in everyday life. 

3. Be the best possible version of you. 

Work-life -balance vs. life harmony

It is about overcoming fear, embracing mistakes, embrace the myth of work life balance and have the right role-models in life. 

Only few women I know got the life “work-life -balance” but I see they have a life harmony. They know what they want and they go for it. 

As a mom finding time for your family, your business, and your leisure time is a huge challenge. 

So, I thought you might like the secret to balance......

It’s an illusion. Sorry. No one can pretend that having children is easy; it is not. It require a major shift in lifestyle, as well as being financially demanding, especially in countries where there is no government-supported universal childcare system. 

What’s the difference between balance and harmony and is one thing better that the other? First work and life aren’t two independent things. 

The term I prefer is life harmony. 

I suggest you create harmony, not balance. This is a very different way of looking at your life. Your life cannot be in balance all the time, BUT it is possible to design a life that is fully in harmony with your values, visions and ambitions. You want harmony in your life too? 

Ask and answer these questions:

– What is holding me back in my life 

Who is holding me back/drain my energy, power, ambitions and talents? 

– Can I improve an area of my personal and work life? 

– What changes shall I make to life and work so that each supports me better in living to my fullest potential?

I realized for myself that striving for life balance meant being in a place of stagnation. If all pieces of my life were in balance I would not be stretching myself to learn and do more. Learn to know when to let go and when to hold on to something/someone in your life.

What is normal? 

Let us assume that no other women in your circle wishes to have both an ambitious job and kids. Does that make you peculiar? Diverging from the norm can either make you feel like you are the only one or make you feel like you are the first, and that is a wonderful positive feeling. A lot of us do not feel that we fit in. Most of us feel that the “standard” is a straitjacket that we do not fit in. But what is normal?

The world would be quite a better place if we knew that there are several different ways to be a mother. A more acceptable culture and labour market would suit our society. Do you want to know how I manage my career and family life so that I have time for all?

A dismissal became the beginning of the journey I am now taking you on, my journey as the mother of two small children while building a global career for myself. I have made several choices, which have now taken me to the US, where I am building my company and taking care of the investments I have made. 

I cannot just lean back and let myself rot. Failure is not an option in my life. It does not mean, though, that I cannot make mistakes; I do make mistakes all the time. But failures in which I just give up do not exist in my life. My husband works for me. He used to be a police officer and is an educated school teacher. We invested in a new career for him. Today he is a social media campaign expert. His new career gives us a lot of flexibility. It is never an issue if the kids are sick and have stay home for some reason. 

I have designed my life in a way that allows me to work remote and online. I have an office in Copenhagen and my teams can be in Colombia, Denmark or HK. I only go to the office a few times pr. year. 

I work 24/7 but I have the flexibility and that is something I have work hard and long to gain. I do not like to spend time in an office or in my car. 

Would you have more time for you family if you do not have to spend hours commuting every day? 

I have a PA. She helps me to plan my days, weeks, months and years. She packs my calender so that I can optimize traveltime and meet as many people s possible while I am away from home. And when I am home I am very selective how I spend my time. I always wanted a PA and a driver. 

I like when my life is effective, but I do not like to manage my appointments, find a good hotel, book a train ticket etc. 

Technology should be your new best friend. It is creating opportunities for new forms of collaboration, changing not only where we work from, but how we work, and who we work with. 

Can video conferences, phone calls and remote access make you feel like you are part of the office when you are not physically present? 

I can. So I do. 

I have a set of rules and values. I set the bar. 

And I know exactly how to prioritize my time. I do not take orders from anyone and I do not try to live up to other peoples expectations. 

If you DO NOT want OR if you cannot take a leave

Over the past years I have overheard so many bad things being sad about women I care about and consider as my friends. Let us take #MarissaMayer, CEO of Yahoo!, as an example. Last summer, as she was expecting her twins, she and I were discussing how the media reacted as she got her top job at Yahoo being pregnant and how they wrote horrible things about her as she went back to work right after she gave birth to her son. The media was so tough on her. Why? Many men return after a few days. So can women - IF they want. However she has really been slammed by critics for not taking enough maternity leave. When she had her first child in 2012, she took just two weeks of leave before returning to work, a move that was heavily scrutinized. Last year, she gave birth to twin girls, and once again Mayer caught flak for saying she would return to work quickly. She came back to work in less than a month. Her comment was: 

"I find other ways/times to bond with my kids."

BUM! That is it. No excuses. 

Some criticized her as a poor role model for working women. Others congratulated her for embracing two challenges at once. Another camp marveled at her na?veté about what was in store! You see, it is not easy to make everyone happy. So stop trying. 

Often we beat ourselves up thinking that we are doing something wrong because we don’t seem to be moving as quickly as we perceive others around us are.

You don’t have to be a superhuman. 

Another mother took headlines not long ago as #IvankaTrump flew to Miami on business eight days after giving birth. Her comment was: 

“The nature of the projects I was working on required me to have a hyper-abbreviated maternity leave, Yes, there are times when I look back and wish that had not been the case. But it’s life, and it’s a marathon, not a sprint.”

Is it progress for high-profile women to willingly forgo their right to a maternity leave? Or, by making maternity leave yet another victim of our always-on culture, does it send the message that taking true time off is only for the uncommitted?

These two women have a lot of help and support. BUT remember that a lot of women do this every day – they have no choice but to quickly return to work because they need the paycheck or can’t risk losing their job. And waitresses, nannies and teachers, for instance, can’t send e-mails from their iPhones and call it “working.” - a lot of people need to be physically present.

Read the rest of the book for free:

https://soulaima.clickfunnels.com/optin11456304

#lifedesign

Ivan Sommer

DPO for FGU Skolerne i Danmark

7 年

Yep, set a target - go for it and don't look back

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