Condescending Behaviors

Condescending behavior is having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority; showing that you consider yourself better or more intelligent. It is usually intended to make people feel bad about not knowing or having something and it often works.

If you are patronizing, you tend to speak down to others, acting as though you are smarter, classier, or just plain better than anyone else.

People act patronizing for different reasons, but usually it boils down to insecurity and/or arrogance.

Yes, you can definitely be arrogant and insecure at the same time.

Considering someone to be condescending ultimately is an assumption, however that does not mean your assumption is invalid. In a situation like this, there are two options: Either they meant to be condescending, or they didn’t.

If they meant to behave like that, there are again two options: Either they will deny and you are being gas lighted, or they will falsely apologize.

How do you know if their apology was not genuine?

If they do not change their behavior, they aren’t being genuine. If you confront them with this and deny, you are being gas lighted.

If they did not mean to behave like that, they will genuinely apologize.

?How can you be sure of the authenticity of the apology?

By making sure they stop making the same mistake. Maybe one more time?

Sure. Keeps doing it?

For example:

"You've never travelled so you probably wouldn't know much about that".

“Is that too hard to grasp? I will just have to explain it to you.”

“Let me spell it out for you.”

“What, are you too stupid to understand?”

Don’t tolerate it. You deserve better.

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you?...So when people feel like someone is talking down to them, it usually has as much to do with what they say as how they say it.

Everyone knows what it’s like to be around someone who just doesn’t make them feel great about themselves. There are all kinds of people who are unpleasant to be around—but if you walk away from another person feeling worse about yourself, there’s a good chance you’ve been condescended to.

We’ve all been in a conversation that’s moving along just fine, when suddenly you find yourself whisked off on an unexpected detour, riding out someone’s impassioned explanation of something that you already know.

If you are into finding out why they behave so then probably, aside they are just plain rude, nothing logical about them at all.

Don’t act as if you are intimidated or cowed by their pomposity; just be your usual, reasonable self, and make appropriate eye contact.

Act as if you don’t even notice the pomposity and condescending attitude; to visibly respond to it only reinforces the behaviors. It is a sophisticated form of bullying.

Sometimes, you need to do a little manipulation of your own. The pompous want to be acknowledged as the smartest people in the room, even when they are not.

Do you want to add a word or two?....

Finding yourself in this situation is annoying, because the other person has, for whatever reason, assumed that you don’t possess the same knowledge they do.

No one likes to be put in a box. When you make broad generalizations about someone else’s behavior, that’s a quick way to make them feel judged and misunderstood.

?Whether you’re having a casual conversation or trying to offer meaningful feedback, the person you’re talking to is way more likely to shut down and react defensively if you claim they “always” or “never” do something.?

Most of the time I find pomposity amusing. After all, this is someone who seriously believes that they are somehow superior. I mean, come on. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, we’re all just folks, except that this person thinks they’re not.

That’s only most of the time, though. Sometimes — especially if there’s nothing likable or interesting about them — it’s not funny.

Your comments........?

It’s annoying as hell. I’d love to tell you that I rise above it.

Occasionally, if they’re a friend of a friend or there’s an arbitrary benefit to minding my manners (like if they have some kind of authority which could become inconvenient) I just wait until I can leave.

Officially, that’s my recommendation. Mind your manners, leave when you can.

But sometimes, mischief and annoyance take over. It’s petty, but I’ve found that people who are patronizing can’t handle being patronized. A tiny chuckle, or a smothered smile of amusement is surprisingly effective.

Nothing overt, that looks like retaliation and can become drama. You don’t want drama. Just give them a little hint that you find them more entertaining than impressive. It’s a needle in their ego-balloon. It puts you in control of the conversation because you’re not accepting their assumption that they’re better than you are.

Be careful not to cross the line to being condescending yourself. For this to work, you have to be dignified and well mannered. If you can pull that off, you’ll be astonished. Amused dignity is powerful stuff.

This might seem like a no-brainer, but it happens more often than you’d think. In general, it’s not a great idea to touch people who aren’t family members or close friends.

It's true that in the repertoire of touching methods, “patting” acquaintances is a better option than “stroking,” “smacking” or “pinching,” and there are certain scenarios in which patting someone on the back or shoulder is entirely acceptable. But head-patting is never okay.

If you pat someone’s head they will invariably be forced to look up at you—in confusion or possibly an attempt to displace your hand—and then you’ll find yourself in the literal predicament of “looking down on them.”

So if someone’s head is within patting reach—perhaps they are much shorter than you, or are sitting in a wheelchair, or an office chair—and you feel the urge to pat coming on, just remove yourself from the situation.?

To whoever you’re speaking to, the implicit message is, 'I know important people, ego I’m important.'?Others are likely to find this behavior condescending and a bit pathetic.

What they gain is the most MOMENTARY sense of their own superiority. What YOU can know from this is that they have a deep feeling of Inferiority, or they wouldn’t be resorting to that old method of building (falsely) self-esteem.

?It works, BUT only for the moment, and must be repeated again and again - and that will lose them some friends, for sure!