The concept of "us" vs. "them

Dear friends everywhere out there.

I don’t often post on any social media. I think the last time might have been 6 years ago, the day before what turned out a truly sad election day in the US; a day that changed the world for the worse. But today is a dark, dark Thursday. A sad day, when the actions of a few are forcing a whole world to watch 50 years of broad progress wasted in a day.

I sometimes worry when middle-aged people say something like “if I’ve learned only one thing then it is….”. I like to think I’ve learned a few things along the way. But what I’ve certainly learned is this: We have only one planet, we have – indeed we ARE – only one humanity. Generation after generation of us have treated the planet we have borrowed from our children and our grandchildren quite badly. And almost always have we treated it badly out of thoughtlessness, for the sake of personal short-term gain, for the sake of individual power or even for the rather pathetic sake of creating distractions from something else entirely.

I have been fortunate to spend much of my life in the name of collaboration. Learning that the greater good is always better served when we find joint solutions, when we prioritise win-win over win-lose, when we pool our talents, our resources, our efforts to create. And for us all to be more than we each could be on our own. That famous Chinese proverb of “A rising tide floats all boats”. It seems clear to me that none of the world’s pressing problems let alone its plethora of opportunities are best served by going it alone. Quite the contrary. Working together does not mean that there can’t be competition. Someone will jump further, someone will run faster. In sports, in business, in the charts – anywhere where one can achieve something, a metric will be available that will help us declare a winner. I like that. I like the idea of winners. But I particularly like that not only did someone set a new world record for the pole vault, no ALL of the finalists performed better than ever before – and guess what, NO pole vaulter jumped lower as a result either. In fact everyone got better. Win-win is not the same as not having competition.

But unlike in sports or in business, I am aware of no example in history when an unprovoked military attack – for the sake of “winning” – has EVER served the greater good. The apocryphal story of the aborigine being asked about his position on who a particular stretch of Australian outback belonged to – the aborigines or the white settlers – only for him to dismiss it with a “the land does not belong to anyone; it’s us, we all belong to the land” springs to mind. History seems to bear out his point of view out. Progress doesn’t spring from conflict – as conflict is typically all about dividing a finite sum differently. Progress springs from freedom, from imagination and from collaboration. From what happens when we can stand on each other’s shoulders to strive further. If I am building a human pyramid with 10 people to be as tall as possible, does he – and it’s always a he, isn’t it? – who stands on his own next to my pyramid, spending all his time and effort on making my pyramid fall down while never himself reaching above his own height; does he win? Does he win because his non-achievement is superior in height to my broken pyramid? Well, he might well be taller for a brief moment but more than anything he will be the biggest loser – because he will never reach beyond his own constraint and his own misery. A winner by comparison is rarely as big a winner as a winner in absolute. And people also remember how he won.

A few small men. A few big egos. Their poor understanding of what winning means. Big and repeated lies and a world that in the last 6 or so years has been taught by people pretending to be “leaders” that lying is normal, that lying is acceptable – and that blatant lies should be tolerated or even applauded as part of “winning”. It’s not. Lying is not acceptable. And particularly not if you are a leader, claim to be a leader or hold a leadership position. Because you have to be a role model and role models don’t lie. They also don’t pretend that ‘winning’ means owning 5 burnt-out cities instead of owning 1 city that is a globally acclaimed admired source of inspiration. They only call themselves winners – but we see them for what they are: the true losers.

So where do we go from here? I don’t know but I do have a plea. For all of you who agree with me, do everything you can to help the world avoid this becoming a “them vs us”. Whenever the narrative is about them vs us, we’re falling for and being drawn in to the loser’s game. Just because I’m taller than you when we measure doesn’t mean I’m a winner. This is not red against blue, it’s not United against City. It’s different because.?

Because. As humankind we only win together or we lose together. I do appreciate that for balance it takes a lot of weight around a moderate middle to offset even a few weights at a far extreme. But then we need those masses of moderate. It’s not about the Russians vs the others. We must not let it be. It can’t be allowed to be about “them vs us”. I will do business with Ukrainians and with Russians. I will play sports with Russians and Ukrainians. I will play against and compete against both. That’s what we do. Sometimes we need to stand up and be the ones to lead our so-called leaders, particularly when they are lost or have lost it.

Because when it comes to our one planet, to our one humanity, there is no “them”. There was - and is - only ever “us”. The us that comprises my Ukrainian friends, my Russian friends, my friends of every other colour, nationality and persuasion out there. We stop the lies together. We grow together. We build together. We learn together. And in the end, we always win together.?