The Concept of The Scapegoat

Life often overwhelms us with the weight of #expectations, the opinions of loved ones, and the constant hum of responsibilities. In navigating our daily routines and the demands that come with family, work, and relationships, we sometimes lose track of our own well-being, becoming too focused on keeping everyone else’s lives on course.

Growing up, the idea of becoming a scapegoat was something no one aspired to. The role seemed thankless and even burdensome; it was never something we desired. Yet, somehow, many of us slipped into this position unknowingly. I recently found myself in a situation where I needed to pause and examine my own life. My #journey to rediscovery began at a conference in Lichfield, where one speaker's words deeply resonated with me. He described a common role many people unknowingly slip into: the "scapegoat." Some of us become the "dumping ground" for others’ problems, always being there to listen and offer advice, always the reliable one. This trust may feel like an honour, but it often becomes a burden. Over time, this relentless focus on others begins to drain us, sometimes to the point where we lose sight of ourselves. The irony is, even as we seem to have everything together, this constant giving can hollow us out. In my case, the more I tried to solve everything—others' issues and my own—the more unhappy I became. It was only after hearing that speaker’s words that I realised how heavy this role could be and the toll it was taking on my own happiness.

It’s a tough realisation to accept that sometimes we cannot carry everyone else’s burdens without losing our #balance. If we constantly help others to figure out their lives, who helps us figure out our own? For some, this sense of exhaustion is compounded by criticism from those they help, making the situation even more damaging. When we reach this breaking point, it's time to reassess and look inward. At this stage, the answer is not to walk away from everyone but to establish boundaries and priorities. You might need to limit certain people’s access to you and reduce your availability. Some relationships may need to be restructured, while others, in some cases, may need to be put on pause or even ended. It’s about reducing the mental noise, regaining space to breathe, and beginning to nurture our own peace.

If you’re fortunate, your home and your closest relationships provide a sanctuary. Nothing is more essential than for a spouse to be a source of comfort—a true safe haven. Having this anchor allows us to handle external challenges more gracefully. However, when your spouse or closest loved ones contribute to the noise, it can feel especially overwhelming. While creating a peaceful, supportive environment with a partner deserves its own focus, achieving this stability is critical to maintaining mental balance. In my reflections, I turned to #nature for insight. Trees, for example, know when it’s time to let go. In autumn, they shed their leaves, embracing the change, with faith in renewal. They don’t cling to the past but instead trust the process, knowing that spring will come, and they will be green and vibrant again. They allow each season to fulfil its purpose, accepting transformation as part of life.

Unlike nature, we often resist change. When we feel overwhelmed, we sometimes believe we’ve been let down by life itself. Yet, perhaps it’s precisely during these times that we should look to our faith, let go of the need to control, and trust in the process of renewal. By setting boundaries and taking time to reset, we create the space for our own renewal, allowing ourselves to embrace life’s seasons with grace. This balance enables us to rediscover the peace and joy we may have lost along the way.