Computers are dumb, let’s teach them to connect

Buzz, bleep, fuzz, ring, ring, bink-bonk, reeeeeaAAAAAH! That’s the sound of a 6400 Baud modem connecting you to the Web! And just to think, for an early, greige 90’s era computer, that piercing sound meant things were working!

Pajamaed, in my newfound quest for self-sufficiency, I went out to feed the chickens this morning and one of the Black Orpingtons (Snow White) had escaped. She likes to pull a Shawshank redemption daily, on the lookout for new and exciting adventures in the great beyond.

As it turns out, like 16th century conquistadors, even bird-brained chickens want to feel the wind on their face in search for something blindingly new and unknown.

Computers do not have this wild-eyed thirst for adventure. They are boring as hell.

Instructions. Bytes in, bytes out. Compile, construct, and repeat the process. Buzz, bleep, fuzz.

And if you want one computer to actually talk to another computer. To send data back and forth? Forget about it. This innate desire to connect and share does not come naturally. You need different protocols, handshakes, encryption, agreed-upon interfaces,

That kind of connecting is more knees and elbows awkward than a Midwestern middle school dance.

If the acronyms and buzzwords fly over your head, you will undoubtedly need an expert to configure this ornate choreography until your invoices are likewise ordained, bedazzled with many more zeros than you could have fathomed.

It all comes down to connection. And as living things, we crave it, we do it free of charge, without many reservations, with just a hello across a fence or a wave from your neighbor on a well-timed walkabout.

Perhaps this connection means we’re alive, no matter the circumstances in our way.

Let’s stay connected!