The Complicity of Silence: How to Speak Up and Take Care of Yourself

Last weekend while travelling in Melbourne, I witnessed something that made me pause and reflect on what it takes to speak up in challenging or toxic work environments. I was riding an electric scooter in the early morning along Southbank when I saw a young man and two friends surrounding a young woman. At first, it seemed like they were all friends, but I quickly realised something was not right. In that moment, I froze, and stopped my scooter. For a split second I hesitated, thinking about my own safety and whether I should just ride to safety. But as I stood there, I realised I couldn’t just be a bystander. I instinctively yelled out, “Hey! Leave her alone!” My voice broke the tension, and the youths quickly dispersed, leaving the woman unharmed, and she made her way to me in tears. They were trying to steal her iPhone. Shaken, she said, “There was no one around. Thank goodness you yelled out.”

Given the work we do at encountas in challenging cultures and helping to create safe environments to speak up, that moment of hesitation, where self-preservation battled with the instinct to help, is something I’ve reflected on since. It highlights the fine line between inaction and intervention. In many workplaces, a similar dynamic plays out, and if we are going to build high-performing and thriving workforces, we have to make it safe to metaphorically yell out! People witness toxic behaviour but stay silent, for many reasons and often due to fear or uncertainty. And at times, this fear is based in reality, as it is not safe to speak up. Understanding why this happens and how to overcome it is crucial in creating healthier work environments.

Why Do People Stay Silent?

Silent complicity happens when people see bad behaviour but don’t say or do anything about it. Here’s why that often happens:

Fear of Retaliation: Many people worry that speaking up will lead to negative consequences, like being excluded or even losing their job.

Normalised Toxicity: In some places, bad behaviour is so common that it starts to feel normal, making people less likely to see it as a problem that needs action.

Feeling Powerless: Sometimes, people feel like they don’t have the power to make a change, especially if the toxic behaviour comes from someone higher up.

Uncertainty: People might be unsure if what they’re seeing is really a problem or if it’s just “the way things are.”

Bystander Effect: When people think someone else will step in, they often do nothing, assuming that others will handle it.

The Impact of Doing Nothing

Staying silent can have serious effects on both individuals and the entire organisation:

Dangerous Work Culture: When bad behaviour goes unchecked, trust and respect among team members erode, making the workplace feel hostile and dangerous.

High Turnover: Good employees often leave toxic environments, leading to high turnover and the costs of hiring and training new staff.

Lower Productivity: A toxic workplace drains motivation, which reduces productivity and engagement.

Mental Health Issues: Being exposed to toxic behaviour can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout, impacting mental health.

Legal Issues: Toxic work environments can result in illegal behaviour and legal action.

How to Break the Silence

Create a Safe Space: Organisations should foster an environment where employees feel safe to speak up. Open communication channels and processes can help.

Clear Policies: Establish clear policies about acceptable behaviour and reporting procedures. Employees should know how to report issues and trust that their concerns will be addressed.

Empower Employees: Provide upskill to help employees recognise toxic behaviour and understand how to respond. Give them the tools and authority to act.

Lead by Example: Leaders to model the values and behaviours they want to see, show zero tolerance for harmful behaviour, and actively work to create a positive work culture.

Encourage Team Support: Encourage employees to support each other in standing up against bad behaviour. Building alliances can give individuals the courage to act.

Anonymous Processes: Offer a way to report issues anonymously to alleviate fears of retaliation and encourage more people to speak up.

Reward Positive Behaviour: Highlight and reward positive actions to reinforce a culture of respect and inclusivity. Recognise those who stand against toxicity to inspire others.

Taking Care of Yourself

Both employees and leaders need to take care of themselves to deal with the stress of addressing toxic cultures.

For employees, it’s crucial to set clear work-life boundaries to prevent burnout, ensuring there’s time for personal activities, family, and hobbies. Seeking support from colleagues, friends, or mental health professionals can also be invaluable, as sharing experiences often brings relief and new perspectives. Additionally, educating oneself about toxic behaviours and how to respond is key, with resources like books, online courses, and workshops serving as helpful tools.

For leaders, it’s important to model self-care by taking breaks and managing workloads effectively, setting an example for the team. A powerful peer support initiative, onsite coaching, workshops, or counselling services can significantly bolster mental health within the organisation. Fostering open communication is another aspect, with regular check-ins and creating safe spaces for team members to express concerns or suggestions. Leaders should also take time to reflect on their leadership style and adapt as necessary to cultivate a supportive environment. Prioritising growth through continuous learning, seeking feedback, and engaging in development is essential for evolving as an effective leader.

End Toxic Cultures

Silent complicity is a major barrier to ending toxic cultures. By understanding why people stay silent and creating safety and empowering both employees and leaders, we can create workplaces where toxic behaviour is surfaced and addressed and positive cultures thrive.

Through the work we do at encountas, we see the complexities leaders and teams are navigating and the active role they play in organisational culture. Healthy cultures demand leaders who not only lead with purpose, inspiring those around them, but also understand the complexities of leadership and their crucial role in identifying, minimising, and effectively addressing psychological hazards and harmful behaviours.

We have a range of bespoke solutions to work with culture, including a Voice of Team (VOT) process to understand any invisible and challenging dynamics. The VOT is a neutral, confidential, and safe way to surface challenges and provide support to resolve those challenges and the relational ruptures. We stay with you and help all the way. The responsibility lies with everyone - from top leadership to individual employees - to make sure silence is not an option and all voices are heard. And most importantly, taking care of yourself is key, enabling you to stay healthy while actively contributing to a better work environment.

Learn More

To explore further, here are some resources to support you and your teams:

Download our Voice of Team Culture Review information here.

Download our Active Respect information here.

Hear from our experts on the hidden dynamics and navigating the complexities of workplace dynamics. Watch the webinar here.

Positive Duty: Unpacked Webinar session. ?Watch the webinar here.

Beyond Positive Duty: Safe and Healthy Workplace Cultures. Download the fact sheet here.