The Complexity of the Human Spirit

What do you think people see when they look at you?

Look

You see our gold chains and our flashy cars

I see a lack of self-worth and I see battle scars

He has to be with twenty man when he wears jewelry

And you see it as gangster, I see it as insecurity

So looking at it from another perspective, playing devil's advocate

Considering you know you're obviously becoming famous, so to speak

But you still deal with a lot of issues on a human level

Do you ever just sit and wonder about the stories behind the people you meet day by day?

Does it make you feel grateful, in a weird way, for your life and problems?

- Environment: British Grime Superstar Dave, from the album Psychodrama, 2019.

2024.

The only year in history when 64 countries are holding elections - about half of the world’s population.

And so is the mudslinging.

In interviews, leaders of opposing sides have had insults hurled at them, and put in boxes.

Donald Trump has been called a dishonest liar.

Joe Biden has been called an incompetent old feeble man.

Keir Starmer of the Labour Party in the UK has been accused of 'not being straight with the British people'.

Rishi Sunak has been accused of being a hypocrite.

Sheikh Hasina of Bangladesh has been accused of being a cruel dictator.

Cyril Ramphosa of South Africa has been called weak and incompetent.

We all try to put people in boxes.

The trouble is – the boxes rarely fit.

What happens when good people do bad things? Or when bad people do good things?

In my practice as a pharmacist, some of my kindest and most helpful patients have spent half their lives in jail. Some of the most ‘respected’ patients have screamed insults and cursed at me when things have not gone their way

I have been called a wonderful human being for one week, only to be called a 'hypocrite' and someone who has just shown his ‘’true colours’’ – sometimes by the same person!

In his new book, Possible: How We Survive and Thrive in an Age of Conflict (2024), author and diplomat William Ury wrote about how he mediated the impasse between Trump and North Korean dictator Kim Jung-On - and how he had to research both leaders to draft a document for them to reach an agreement after they were screaming insults at each other and calling each other names – and the threat of nuclear war had jumped to around 50%.

In learning about Kim Jong Il, he reached out to the only American who knew him well, former Chicago Bulls maestro Dennis Rodman. In talking to Rodman, he was surprised to learn how the basketball maestro had gone drinking with the North Korean dictator, how he held his baby, and how the dictator's biggest dream was to walk down 5th Avenue and watch the Chicago Bulls play. It was Dennis Rodman who convinced William Ury that the last thing Kim Jung-on wanted was war.

But behind most of his gerrymandering, were the things he craved: Respect. Recognition. Right to be heard. That's why the historic meeting with Trump was so pivotal to ending the stand-off. (Crucially, Trump also had the same inner desire, to be respected and revered by the American people, so it was a win-win)

Bryan Stevenson, one of America’s most celebrated civil rights lawyers made this comment in his TED talk that has been watched nearly 9 million times:

‘’I’ve come to understand and believe, that each of us is better than the worst thing we’ve ever done… one who lies, is not just a liar, even if you kill someone, that you're not just a murderer – I believe this for every single person on the planet.’’

With this in mind, clergyman John Newton (1725- 1807) wrote in his essays about the nine types of good and bad in people - illustrating the complexity of the human spirit:

- Austerius: Solid and disciplined, but abrasive, critical, not gentle and not very unappreciative.

- Infatilis: Has a careful and deliberate character, but cynical, negative, unsupportive and vaguely unhappy.

- Pulsilis: Passionate; but impulsive, impatient, quick to moan, and rash

- Querulous: Strong convictions, but opinionated, quick to complain, argumentative and slow to admit when they’re wrong

- Subjectio: Resourceful, ambitious, but puts a spin on things, self-promoting, patronising and turf-conscious

- Potestas: Gets things done; but is suspicious, resentful and is a control freak

- Fragilis: Friendly, and sociable, but loves gossip, finds ways to spread gossip, and enjoys confrontation so far.

- Volatilis: kind-hearted and eager to help, but simply isn’t punctual, doesn’t follow on promises, doesn’t have follow through, over-extended and frequently does shoddy work.

We all, without exception, have one, two or three of these traits.

We are all complex – a mixture of good and bad just like the picture above shows.

This doesn't mean we don't work on getting better. Of course, we should.

But it does mean we all have intrinsic strengths and weaknesses, and none is better than the other, that's why comparisons, which we tend to do so often, are pointless.

So next time any of us are quick to judge, to point fingers, to accuse, to put people in boxes, we should all remember that we all harbour good and evil.

As we all go to vote, let's resist the urge to put labels, and put all who disagree with us, whether politicians or fellow citizens who choose another party, in boxes.

We need to stop demonising our fellow humans and remember that we are all better than the worst thing we've ever done, and with one finger pointing at another, we have three pointing back at us.

We all have good. We all have bad. And none of us fit in clean labelled boxes:

And if we all remember this as we vote, the world's democracies would be much stronger.

You got your babies

I got my hearses

Every blessing comes with a set of curses

Got my vice verses

I got my vice verses.

- Vice Verses, Switchfoot, 2011.

1. Work with me. I can public-speak, mentor, write or consult. Hop onto www.stevenadjei.com for a taste, read what people say about my work, and holler at [email protected] for a chat. I'd love some feedback as well on the above article.

2. Buy my book. You won't regret it. It's won several awards and has been a #1 Amazon best-seller in EIGHTEEN different categories in multiple countries.

If you already have, I'd love an honest review on Amazon. Reviews really do help us out :)-. and I'd like you to please watch this space for information on my second book, Chasing Permanence.

3. Talk to me: I won't judge. My strongest values are empathy and resilience, and as someone who's been through a lot of pain, I can work with you to help overcome (or manage) your business pain and turn it into victory.

Courtesy (Carey Niuewhof)

Rooting for you as always,

Steven.