Completing the Past: A Crucial Step in Creating the Future

This past week, I received a message from a former colleague and dear friend-turned-client. Over the past few months, he hadn’t been responding to the multiple emails, LinkedIn, and text messages I had sent him, so I was happy to finally hear from him after such a long time. I was elated to see a message from him especially because I knew he was going through a career transition and I wanted to offer my support through the process. Unfortunately, my elation to have received a response from him turned to deep sadness—and ultimately bewilderment—as I actually read his message.?

He had written to let me know why he had been distant for the past few months. It was apparently because he felt disappointed in me because he felt I had failed to contact him to arrange a meeting when he could have benefitted from my counsel seven months ago. He further explained that he had made the situation mean that I was not interested in meeting with him because he was no longer in a position to offer me a consulting contract. He also said that the main reason he was contacting me was that he didn't want to take the burden of this disappointment into next year, and he wished me a my family a wonderful holiday season.?

I was sad that he felt let down and that I wasn't there when he needed me, because he’s been like a brother to me for almost 20 years, since long before The Ghannad Group was even an idea. I was devastated that he would even entertain the thought that I was only interested in staying in touch because he had become a client. But I was completely bewildered by the fact that he had conjured up such a "story" because it was the furthest thing from the truth and, since he’s very familiar with my approach and philosophy, I know he knows better than that.?

In any case, I responded with gratitude for his courage to let me know how he felt. I also explained that I had responded, within an hour, to his initial message in which he had expressed a desire to meet, but I never heard back about his availability. I also asked him to please consider that if I had no desire to meet with him, I would not have followed up eight times in the next four months after continually being met with radio silence the entire time.?

Although I'm still dealing with the shock of hearing what he had to say, I truly am grateful that he did reach out to me to tell me how he felt. I’m certain that we’ll clear the air and work out this misunderstanding and have the lessons learned strengthen our long-standing relationship.?

To me, this event inspired me to recall the value of "Completing the Past" as a pre-requisite for "Creating the Future," a topic about which I have written extensively. You may have read about this topic in my book, The Transformative Leader , where I talk about the Three C's of Personal Leadership, or experienced it in my workshops, where I guide participants through the process of becoming Transformative Leaders.

So, just as a reminder, there is no time like the present to complete the past, especially as the year comes to a close and you powerfully begin your journey into the future you’ve envisioned for the new year. I encourage you to reach out to colleagues, friends, and family members who may have disappointed you and give them an opportunity to express their intent and explain what happened. If you know that you’ve done something that may have disappointed others, reach out to them and seek their forgiveness and begin to repair the relationship.?

If you’re looking to restore your integrity, there’s no better way than getting back into communication . If you’re not sure how to have that conversation, I have some guidelines you can follow to get started. If you’re hanging on to unforgiveness, I implore you to let it go before it sabotages your potential to grow and thrive in the future. It’s never too late to get started on repairing a relationship, no matter how much time has passed.

If there are topics you find to be of special value to you, or if you’d just like to get in touch and chat about what’s going on with you, simply reply to this newsletter or send me an email at [email protected] .?If you’re experiencing challenges that you would like my perspective on, or you’d like to explore how we can partner with you to support you in your transformative journey, please click here to schedule a call with me.?I’d love to hear from you.

Further Reading

If you’d like to learn more about topics covered in this week’s newsletter article, check out the related resources I’ve included below.

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