The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, plus one more

As we traverse the annals of time, with quill and parchment in hand, let us delve into the comedic realm of historical hiring mishaps, thine reader, and laugh together at the bumbling interviews of yore.

Act I: The Tragedy of the Slippery Handshake

In the quaint village of Verona, there resided a nobleman named Lord Humperdink, who, in his infinite wisdom, sought a butler to attend to his every need. Many a hopeful applicant didst gather, and Humperdink, eager to find the perfect fit, didst engage in an arduous series of interviews.

Enter Roderick, a humble farmer who harboured a secret desire to become a servant. With a shaky hand and perspiring brow, Roderick didst approach the lord for the first time.

Lord Humperdink: "Hail, good sir! Pray tell me, what skills dost thou possess?"

Roderick: "My lord, I am skilled in the ways of the soil, and I can milk a cow with the finesse of a virtuoso!"

Lord Humperdink: flustered "Er, verily... that is commendable, indeed! What dost thou know of butlering?"

Roderick: "Butlering? Ah, yes! I have watched the butler in many a noble home, and I am convinced that with proper training, I can master the art."

Act II: The Comedy of the Tongue-Tied Housekeeper

Meanwhile, in the bustling metropolis of London, a wealthy merchant named Mr. Pennyworth was in search of a new Housekeeper to manage his household. Among the applicants was a young person named Alex, who had spent many years in the service of their parents, and was now ready to serve another.

Mr. Pennyworth: "Good day, fair young person! What skills dost thou bring to my household?"

Alex: "My lord, I can cook, clean, and sew with the best of them! I have been a maid to my parents for many years, and I long to serve in a grander household."

Mr. Pennyworth: "Indeed? And what is thy opinion on the current political climate?"

Alex: nervously "Ah... I... um... the... erm... the weather has been quite pleasant of late, don't you think?"

Mr. Pennyworth: confused "Weather? I asked about politics, my dear child."

Alex: panicking "Politics? Oh! Yes, yes! Well, um... I have heard that... the... the king... he is quite... um... a king, isn't he?"

Mr. Pennyworth: stifling laughter "Indeed, he is. Well, my dear child, I shall consider thy application and let thee know."

Act III: The Farce of the Misplaced Test Scores

Meanwhile, across the channel in the city of Paris, a renowned scholar named Monsieur LaPierre was in search of a new assistant to aid him in his research. Among the applicants was a young lad named Pierre, who had recently graduated from the university with honours and was eager to embark on his career.

Monsieur LaPierre: "Bienvenue, young Pierre! Tell me, what knowledge dost thou possess?"

Pierre: "My good sir, I am well-versed in the classics, and I have a keen interest in the natural sciences. I have also conducted research on the migration patterns of birds."

Monsieur LaPierre: "Impressive! And what were thy test scores at the university?"

Pierre: hesitantly "Ah... my test scores... you see, Monsieur, I am afraid they have been misplaced."

Monsieur LaPierre: "Misplaced? How unfortunate! And thy diploma?"

Pierre: embarrassed "Um... also misplaced, I'm afraid."

Monsieur LaPierre: "Ah... I see. Well, Monsieur Pierre, I thank thee for thy honesty. I shall let thee know if I require further assistance."

Thus concludes our tale of historical hiring mishaps.

Epilogue:

As we emerge from the quill of the Bard, it is with great amusement and reflection that we recognise the timeless comedic element present in interviews throughout history. From Verona to London, from Paris to the corners of the globe, interviews have indeed been a stage for hilarious, perplexing, and sometimes downright absurd exchanges.

Yet, within this laughter lies a deeper truth – that for centuries, the hiring process has been plagued by inconsistent practices, a lack of standardised criteria, and an overemphasis on superficial traits. What this tale teaches us is that poor interviewing practices are not new; they have been around for centuries.

A better structured, standardised, and inclusive approach to interviews is needed quickly.

So, as we close this delightful chapter of historical hilarity, let us remember the lessons learned from the blunders of our forebears. As we move forward, let us endeavour to create a world of hiring where competence, skill, and character are the true stars of the show.