Complete Guide: How to create a support system in your life!

Have you ever wondered how to create a personal support system similar to a company CEO’s board of directors??Within that system, you can ask questions when you need them, share your challenges, gain their wisdom, seek support, and much more.

Well, I am here to tell you it’s possible!

Often, we go in life without a direction or support system, thinking that we can do it independently. Yes, you can do it on your own, but it may take you longer, and you will end up making unnecessary mistakes along the way.

In the 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership book, one of the commitments is Experiencing the World as an Ally, committing to seeing all people and circumstances as allies, which means looking for people in your life that support your growth.

Being the CEO of your life involves taking complete control and being responsible for your life. You will need to be mindful about making decisions, skill-development and having the right mindset and people to support your life journey. In this article, I go through different sections in guiding you on creating a support system in your life, so let's get started!

The questions that I will be answering in this article are:

• What does having a support system mean?
• What are the criteria you should look for in the individuals within your support system?
• What are the types of members you may have within your support group??
• Who do you need to be to have such supports system?
• How to govern this relationship?

What does having a support system mean?

It means having a group of individuals you connect and establish a relationship with throughout your life to navigate your career and life in general.

As I said, this is similar to how companies have a board of directors, except that this support system will be for you to get support and advice on advancing your career, making decisions uncover blind spots, and overcoming challenges.?

It consists of individuals who have a strong personal and professional interest in seeing you grow and succeed.

These individuals don’t necessarily know they are on your support system, and you won’t necessarily call all of them every time you need advice.?

However, from time to time, one of them will be with you throughout your life journey to give you the support required.

The relationship with these individuals will be like any normal relationship you build with a person. Still, you will build this relationship to have different aspects of support for your life.

Please hear me here. You need to establish genuine, honest relationships. It is not transactional. That is why there should be a give and take in the relationship with you placing more effort because you are the one who wants to establish that relationship.

What are the criteria you should look for in the individuals within your support system?

Several criteria to consider here. However, please remember that they may not have all of the qualities I will be mentioning.?

You may also have other attributes that you may consider for you, and it is OK. In the end, you will be deciding which relationship is best for you.

With that, let’s jump into the ten attributes of the individuals within your support system:

First: They inspire you to work and succeed by their integrity, energy, and passion. You get inspired seeing them in action, doing what they know best, and having an impact where they are.

Second: They are mature, successful in their life, have wisdom, and they could be a role model for you. You can sense that by your conversation with them and reflect on their knowledge and life experiences.

Third: You feel comfortable sharing with them your challenges without being judged or ridiculed. They accept you, and you can sense that they make time for you when you ask them.

Fourth: You can establish a relationship with them. It’s not transactional, as they are independent than you. They have their own life, and usually, they don’t ask for favors.

Fifth:?They are open and honest and tell the truth as it is.

They are not yes people who agree with you on everything. If there is something that doesn’t work for them, they will raise it to you. And they are also humble, not seeing themselves above others.

Sixth:?They Challenge you to get out of your Comfort zone and look for more in life. And this happens when you see them in action, mastering what they do.

Seventh:?They may be different than you in culture, age, interest… etc., and they offer different perspectives. This is good because you will be offered new ways of seeing things.

Eighth:?They make you feel good about yourself and encourage you when you feel down by seeing the good in you. When you engage with them, you can be refueled again and get inspired by the end of the conversation.

Ninth:?They evoke awareness and clarity in you by their wisdom, offering you other ways to see a situation and open your mind to new opportunities.

Tenth:?They can listen to you. Also, relate and empathize with you and what you are going through by their kindness and understanding. You will always notice the human side of their consideration for others and them fostering positive relationships.

What are the types of members you may have within your support group??

One note before I start mentioning the types, you may have a person in your life taking more than one role of these types. That's ok as long as this is working for you.?

So what they are:

First Type: Supporter

This person could be a friend, colleague, or coach, or mentor. Someone who you can share with what you usually don't share with others when you are frustrated and want to vent. They listen to you and can get you back on track with your goal to move forward.?

This type is necessary because, as humans, we need to express ourselves and feel safe with people who we trust, who listen to us, and who will not judge us.

This type doesn't necessarily agree with you in everything. Still, people within this category understand you. They can feel what you are going through and offer feedback on dealing with the situation and moving forward.

Second Type: Networker

This type is the one who is social and can open opportunities for you to connect with others.?

They invite you to attend events or social gatherings that can grow your career, business or improve your social skills.

They are genuinely looking to support you in whatever you aspire to by introducing you to others.

They know many people, and they know what is happening around them regarding gathering or networking opportunities.

Third type: Peer

This type is the one who is in the same business as you or have a similar career. It could be a colleague or someone you work with if you work in a company.?Or someone who has a similar business to you if you are a business owner.

This type will validate your work and share with you their experiences. They can also support you in accelerating your learning by highlighting shortcuts. They also point out mistakes they have been through to avoid them.

This person is critical in supporting you to make progress. And making you feel that you are not alone in what you do. Even as a business owner is always helpful to have someone who is perusing something similar to share knowledge, support each other or create collaboration opportunities.

Fourth type: mentor

This type is similar to a father figure. They are older than you, and they offer you perspective in life, relationships, career, and other aspects.?

These type of people is successful in things they do.?They don't necessarily have to be very high in the?management hierarchy or famous.

They are people who are mature enough to be able to foster a positive relationship with everyone.?Although they are senior, they are humble and willing to support others in whatever way possible.?They make an impact by simply their presence.?

Having this type is really a gem because it can make you mature faster. And allowing you to see where your pitfalls could be.?

They are the best at expanding your perspective because of their life experiences and age.?They may challenge you to get out of your comfort zone and build your life.They could be a previous boss, professor, or someone in your family.

Fifth type: I call it Different

This type is the kind of person who is different than you.?They could be from another culture, profession, point of view, interest, personality, etc. They are the kind of people who approaches things differently from you.?

It's essential to have such people in your life because they offer you a new perspective on looking at situations and expanding your horizon.?

We all have our view, assumptions, and beliefs some of which could be unhelpful. Having such people can help you break those assumptions and see things differently.?

For example, someone likes to connect with someone from a different culture to know how they approach things to learn new things.

Sixth type: Coach

A coach acts like your mirror, which helps you clarify your mind and be open to yourself. Coach support you make sounding decisions, move forward and achieve what you want through powerful questioning.

The importance of having a coach lies in making you aware of yourself and the actions you take and their impacts. And finally, holding you accountable.?

Seventh type: Sponsor

They are the people who have influence, are?high in the management hierarchy. This type could be an investor who you look for their investment in your business. Or a manager in a company you want to join. Their contribution can make a difference in your life.?

Some people consider a sponsor the most crucial type because they can pave the way to achieve everything or get a job.?

However, it's not easy to make Sponsors believe in you because someone in their position will have many people come to them for support.?

?You need to work on yourself more and apply what we discussed in the opportunity article to reach such people.

One tip here, show up yourself so the sponsor can recognize you and your work.?

Other types you may consider based on your needs:

Finance:?Someone who has expertise in finance and supports you in understanding finance.

Thinker:?Someone who helps you brainstorm new ideas.

Health:?Someone keeps you with your health.?

Legal:?Someone supports you with understanding laws and regulations.

Relationships:?Someone supports you in managing your relationships.

Entertainment:?Someone who you like to have fun with or do different activities.?And so, on.

A final note here, some of us have one type only out of all of these categories. This can hinder our growth because we will need various people for development.

Who do you need to be to have such supports system?

In building the support system, we will have to work on ourselves to establish honest relationships and make people want to connect with us.

I will mention some of the qualities that we should work on:

First: To be humble

To accept that we don't know everything and learn every day. Admitting that sometimes we may need support, where things can get complicated. And not let our ego or our pride get in the way.

Second: to listen

It's essential to be a good listener because people within your support system also have challenges and need others to listen to them.?Being a good listener is one of the ways to connect with people.

Third: to have something to offer others

It's nice to offer something in the relationship and not only take in the relationship without giving.?This can be done by knowing a subject or a skill that others may need support with.?

?For example, I know different development organizations so that when someone asks me, I can offer value in this area.?

Fourth: Seek to understand others.?

You need to understand how to deal with different types?of people and how to approach others.?Suppose someone doesn't like particular things.?You will have to communicate with that person based on that.

?Also, try to understand the other person's likes or topics they are interested in talking about.

Having a genuine curiosity to understand and know more about the other person will make them feel valued and want to build a relationship with you.

Fifth: to have empathy

It means being able to understand what other people go?Through, and respond to their situation in what fit them.?

Please understand that empathy is not similar to sympathy or compassion, which implies pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.?People may don't like someone to view them that wayor make them feel weak.

Therefore, always seek to understand how others prefer you to relate to their situation.

How to govern this relationship?

First: To have good intentions to be interested in the person

As mentioned, this is not a transactional relationship as people may feel that you take advantage of them.?

Second: to give as much as you take

To always look for ways to benefit the other person?and support in any way possible.This will make the relationship equal.?

Third: to be honest, genuine, and to be you.

It is best to be you in the relationship so the other person will view you based on who you are and not who you are trying to be for them.?With that, your relationship with them will be sustainable and built on solid ground.

Forth: to be curious in looking to learn from whatever the person shares with you.?

Curiosity is a critical skill in building relationships. Suppose the other people feel your curiosity about what they are sharing.?In that case, they will appreciate the relationship more because they feel your interest in what they will say.

Fifth: To respect other person boundaries and?what they like and don't like.

Knowing what the other person prefers will make them trust you more and build the relationship in mutual respect rather than uncontrolled boundaries.

In the end, the people you need in your support system are the people you meet in life. You will need closer attention and compare them with the types I mentioned to see where they fit.?

Your support system should form naturally with people you meet along your life journey.

Also, remember that you always have something to offer others. It could be simply your presence, so don't feel unconfident building relationships with others.

And this is the end of our article. I hope this article gave you an idea of how to form your support system group.?