“Compassionate love” during difficult CoVid 19……part 40 ….one of the biggest signs of a healthy relationship.

You’ve been with this guy for a while now and you are crazy about him, but does that mean you are ready to marry him?

Compassionate Love refers to love that centers on the good of the other. Love bring bliss to both tempered by respect.

Every relationship starts out hot and heavy and you can’t keep your hands off each other. Every chance you get, you are in the bedroom.

Consider how you want your today’s life to look.

Is this the person who can help give you that life?

You feel comfortable around him.

How comfortable are you with this person?

Are you still hiding things from him and not sharing secrets of your life with him?

Is he doing the same thing?

But that doesn’t last. Every relationship goes through stages of intimacy and as time goes on, couples move away from the lust-filled stage to the companion stage.

While your sexual attraction to this person may change over time, you need to consider whether your companionship will change.

Are you only in it for the sex?

Are you just looking to get something from this person and not really thinking about a long-term relationship?

Attraction to your spouse is important, but so is the ability to navigate the changes in attraction over time.

People change their looks. We age.

How will you feel about that.. 30 years from now?

You’re compatible

Not only is your take on attraction an important quality to consider, but so is your compatibility with this person. If all you have in common is good sex, that’s not enough to build a lasting relationship on.

Do you like at least some of the same things?

Do you enjoy the same foods?

Can you watch the same movies together?

Are you able to get along with their friends and share experiences together?

If you are not compatible in any other way except in the bedroom that is not a good recipe for a successful marriage.

Consider how you want your day-today life to look. Is this the person who can help give you that life?

You feel comfortable around him

How comfortable are you with this person?

Are you still hiding things from him and not sharing ts of your life with him?

Is he doing the same thing?

If you are hesitant to share aspects of your life for fear that he might judge you, or worse, leave you, then you are not ready to get married.

Having a piece of paper that says you are in it for the long-haul won’t mean anything if he finds out you were keeping big secrets from him.

If, however, you know you can be yourself, through thick and thin, and he doesn’t place blame for things you’ve done before, then he’s marriage material for sure.

He’s only thinking of the future even though he knows about your past?

Keep him.

Also, one of the best ways to know whether he is the one is to see how he acts in stressful situations. 

Is he looking to protect you?

Or is he only thinking about himself?

There is respect between the two of you.

Every relationship needs love and respect. You might think they go hand-in-hand but many people claim to love others without respecting them.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate. 

Thank you ….If you’ve ever met someone who has been abused by their spouse, yet they believe more than anything that they are loved, you know what we’re talking about.

Love and respect are not mutually exclusive and need to present at all times for a marriage to work.

You get along with his family

If you are considering whether or not you can marry this man, consider h ow you get along with his family and how you respect and interpret his history.

If you don’t get along with his family, this is going to be a problem down the road. It might be fine today because you are managing it, but do you really want to get tied up in something that is going to cause grief in your life.

As the saying goes, “you marry an entire family” and it’s true. The age-old horror story of mother-in-law troubles are very real for a lot of women.

If you already don’t get along with his family, it’s worth considering or reconsidering marriage. It doesn’t get easier just because you took a vow.

You see a similar future with each other.

When you talk about the future, you both acknowledge each other in it. It’s great if you see a future with him, but if he never talks about things like that with you, it might not be the right fit.

If he avoids talking about summer vacation because he doesn’t know what he’s doing, he’s not into it. If he’s all over planning out the next 5 summer vacations, marry the guy.

He thinks about you as much as you think about him and he wants to have you by his side, even if he doesn’t come out and say that. Actions speak louder than words.

You agree to disagree.

You don’t have to get along with this guy all the time to marry him.

A strong woman turns heads wherever she goes and doesn’t take shit from anyone, men in particular. She knows what she wants and she won’t settle for less.

This no-nonsense attitude drives men wild with desire.

Why?

Because men love the chase.

Want to add word or two?

Maybe it goes back to their hunter-gatherer days, when they’d chase whatever they could get their hands on in order to eat it. This instinct drives them to pursue the strong woman and they won’t settle until she’s been ‘caught.’

Because it’s far too easy to get a woman who is clingy and needy, real men (the ones you actually want) go after women who ooze confidence and don’t tolerate any BS. Chasing a strong woman is right up their street.

Moreover, if he’s losing the chase, he’ll try even harder. The more effort he has to put in or the more he has to pursue her, the more thrilling it is for him.

Frankly it lives up to that age-old saying that ‘you always want what you can’t have.’

Your comment ….? 

Think about it. When was the last time you wanted something badly? Whether it was a man, a glass of wine or a weekend away with the girls, it began to linger in your thoughts until it was all you could think about.

Unless you had that glass of Pinot when you got home, you were never going to be completely satisfied.

You connect on a higher level.

It’s not just about great sex with the two of you, but a connection that you’ve never had with anyone else before. He says the same thing.

He feels close to you and feels like he can trust you with anything.

If you feel like you are just a stop on his weekend travels, that’s not good marriage material.

If he’s trying to figure out how to spend more time with you and is presented and accounted for when he is around, you should hang onto him.

You are kind and thoughtful toward one another.

Being in a relationship is about so much more than loving one another. Sometimes, love is not enough to keep a couple going.

If there is no respect or kindness in the relationship, then it won’t last long.

Even if you love him more than you’ve ever loved anything in your life, if he treats you like shit, there’s no point in carrying on the relationship.

It’s hard to walk away, of course, but so is allowing yourself to be treated like that. If, however, he loves and respects you, which are two different things, then he’s a keeper.

In fact, “compassionate love” can be one of the biggest signs of a healthy relationship.

You feel like you can be yourself.

You don’t need to hide anything from him, but he respects your boundaries if there are parts of your life that you’d rather leave behind lock and key.

He tells you all the time how much he loves that he can be himself around you too. You get each other and what you both need from this relationship.

If you feel like you can just be you, ugly hair days and all, and there’s no expectation that you need to be another person when he’s around, he might be the one.

You feel safe with him.

He makes you feel like you could take on the world. He says and does the right things – but not according to the rest of the world – according to how you want to be loved.

He understands your needs and he is happy to take care of them for you. He’s not looking to make you into something you are not.

If you can just be yourself and don’t feel like you need to put on a show for him, he’s worth marrying.

He’s seen you at your worst and loved you through it. That’s love. And that’s what marriage is all about.

You want him to be happy.

Most importantly, the best sign that you should marry this guy is that you want him to be happy.

The idea of him marrying someone else breaks your heart, but if that is what would need to happen to make him happy, then you’d be on board with that.

Of course, you want him to be happy with you and adore his life with you so tell him that.

Tell him how happy you want him to be and that you want to be the one he shares that happy life with. There’s no need to hide your feelings. If you want to marry him, go for it.

O. K. Let me hear from you…now.