Compassion and Toleration...the fine line.

People tolerate a lot! Especially empathetic leaders.

Often I see people tolerate all sorts of behavior, from screaming and shouting to physical outbursts and tell me they are "having compassion" for the other person. I'm not referring to the odd occasion, I'm referring to repeated occurrences.

"Compassion is the wish to see others free from suffering" ~ Dalai Lama. At our core, as humans, we don't we want fellow beings to suffer. Here is the catch...Tolerating these behaviors further enables and deepens the suffering. It is counter intuitive I know AND there is a win-win here for those empaths out there suffering from those suffering around you.

Here is a four-step benevolent tool to interrupt the cycle:

1. OBSERVE: Their behavior is a SYMPTOM not the CAUSE. Remain the observer.
2. DISTINGUISH: You are present to their SURVIVAL mechanism not the person in their greatness. Listen to the other person as great and then manage their survival behaviour as something separate from their true selves.
3. BOUNDARY: Put a clear boundary in place, park them if required. Having compassion does NOT mean condoning their survival behaviour.
4. RESOLVE: Remove the survival projection from who the person is being and ascertain the real issue that they are trying to communicate. Listen to their language to enable you to get the the cause.

Benevolence in the work place is potent! Disentangle compassion and toleration, maximise compassion as the potent tool it is and end toleration.

I'd love your point of view so please comment below or email me at [email protected]