Compassion

The Skill We Need Most This Year

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope you had a chance to unwind a bit. Things were crazy here - work through the holidays, lingering germs, the usual stuff. It’s always something, isn’t it?

Anyway, I’m not much for resolutions, but the new year does feel like a natural time for reflection. What's working? What's not? What I might want to work on in the upcoming year? Well, lately I’ve been thinking a lot about compassion: what it means, why it matters, and, most importantly, how we can cultivate it in a world that seems increasingly disconnected and divided.

Compassion isn’t just about kindness or charity—though those are wonderful things to foster. Compassion is the willingness to meet suffering, whether it’s your own or someone else’s, with an open heart. There is something innate about that urge in all humans. As Jack Kornfield puts it:

“Compassion arises naturally as the heart’s response to pain.”

I didn't say "fix suffering". In fact, compassion isn't about fixing or rescuing but being present with suffering, even when it’s uncomfortable. And although there is a core of compassion in all of us, it can be covered over will all sorts of other things, buried under a heap of our own issues and narcissistic tendencies. It’s a skill, however, that you can develop with practice. And in today’s world—where we’re more “connected” than ever yet lonelier and more fragmented than before—it’s a skill we desperately need.

Compassion for Others

It’s one thing to feel compassion for a friend who’s had a tough week or a stranger struggling visibly. But extending that same kindness to someone who cuts you off in traffic or a co-worker who constantly derails your meetings? That’s a challenge.

Here’s the thing: compassion isn’t about excusing bad behavior or letting yourself be a doormat. It’s about pausing long enough to recognize the shared humanity behind someone else’s actions. Everyone’s carrying something you can’t see. While that doesn’t justify their behavior, it might just soften your reaction.

This doesn’t mean you have to tolerate toxicity or be endlessly patient. It does mean you can choose how to respond, rather than just react. And that choice—to meet a difficult situation with a touch of empathy—can shift the entire dynamic.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” - Ian Maclaren

Compassion for Yourself

Now let’s talk about the hardest person to show compassion to: yourself.

If you’re like most people, you’re much quicker to forgive a friend’s mistake than your own. Self-compassion often gets tangled up with ideas of weakness or self-indulgence. But here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Self-compassion is about recognizing that you’re human—flawed, yes, but still deserving of kindness. It’s the radical act of treating yourself the way you’d treat a dear friend who’s struggling. It’s saying, “I did my best today, even if it wasn’t perfect, and that’s enough.”

Practicing self-compassion can transform your relationship with yourself. It can also make it easier to extend compassion to others, because when you stop being so hard on yourself, you naturally become less judgmental of everyone else.

Practicing Compassion

As I mentioned earlier, there are contemplative methods of cultivating compassion that have been around for thousands of years. I'll give you some resources below, but know that they have a different flavor than typical mindfulness practices. They can seem a little awkward at first, but as you practice you'll feel their effects, and it can be transformative. You can think of them as more directed practices - trying to feel a certain way - rather than the open awareness and acceptance of only what is here in the moment you may be used to if you meditate.

Here are some things to explore:

Books

• “Radical Compassion” by Tara Brach

Introduces RAIN, a mindfulness practice to cultivate self-compassion and kindness toward others.

• “Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness” by Sharon Salzberg

A deep dive into the practice of metta (lovingkindness) meditation and its transformative effects.

Websites

• Self-Compassion.org

Kristin Neff’s website, with free guided meditations and exercises for cultivating self-compassion.

• Greater Good in Action (GGIA)

https://ggia.berkeley.edu

A project by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center that provides research-backed exercises for practicing compassion and kindness.

Compassion in Modern Times

This sort of practice might feel awkward or forced at first. But with time, it can fundamentally shift the way you see and interact with the world.

Why does compassion matter in 2025? Because it’s easy to feel like the world is on fire, and that can leave us feeling overwhelmed, bitter, or just plain numb. Compassion cuts through that. It reminds us that, despite our differences, we’re all in this together.

It’s also a deeply practical skill. Compassion helps you navigate conflict with grace, build stronger relationships, and even improve your physical health. And while it might not fix everything, it’s a step toward creating the kind of world we all want to live in.

As the Dalai Lama says,

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”

Here's to a great 2025!

-Scott