Compassion in Schools Matters

Before becoming a teacher, I worked as a computer programmer in the finance industry, and I hated every minute of it. While this might be a suitable career for some, I would describe my experience as unfulfilling, isolating and soulless. I was in my mid-20s and thankfully made the life-changing decision to change my career to teaching.

As a new teacher I was eager, inspired and determined to give my students the very best I could. I was motivated to teach effectively, get to know each student personally and speak positivity into them, with the hope that I might make a difference in their lives. I think that for most teachers entering the profession, this might be a common experience. I believe that teachers are at heart pro-socially motivated, and that it is because of this quality that they are drawn to the profession. Being pro-socially motived inherently means that relationships matter. For teachers this is certainly true as the relationships they develop with their students and colleagues matter…and matter considerably. However, being a teacher is hard and there are stresses that exist that can test these relationships and push us to our limits, and sometimes beyond. How do we as teachers and school leaders create nurturing environments that cultivate relationships that matter and persist through times of difficulty? ?I believe that a large part of the answer is choosing to make compassion a value in our lives and in our schools.

Having compassion as a value means being deliberate in the welfare of others, through asking questions, reading their emotions, understanding their patterns and so noticing when something seems ‘off’, understanding their struggles and needs, and being prepared to stand by them in times of struggle. Some people seem to have this quality naturally and whatever it is they do, people seem to be drawn to them and feel safe to open up to them. For many others, such as myself, these skills of compassion are a work in progress and stepping into this compassionate space requires consideration, thought and courage.

For me having compassionate conversations with people was, and still can be, a daunting prospect. I was fearful that I wouldn’t have the right words, the right advice, or the right responses to their needs. In addition to this, from a leadership perspective, I found the further I moved up the school hierarchy the more reluctant I was to dig deeper and ask compassionate questions about how colleagues were doing. My reluctance existed as I was worried that my care and concern would be interpreted as prying into people’s lives or that they would think there was some other motive underlying my ‘concern’. As I have become more experienced, I have decided that seeking the compassionate conversation with a staff member who is on my mind, is the better course of action than not having it for fear of being mis-interpreted. While it might sound obvious, my experience is that the benefits of showing personal compassion to people far outweigh the risk-free approach of saying nothing.

Living compassionately for others often demands compassionate actions. In schools there is often a lot of important discussions about remuneration and working conditions, and rightly so. In my tenures as Principal, I have been involved in these negotiations and decisions, which are important steps in creating a positive working environment. However, I have found that it is the ‘small’ thoughtful actions that are remembered in people’s hearts. The note thanking them for a job well done, going to see them when you know they have had a rough week, a word of encouragement in the corridor, catching them after a meeting if something felt ‘off’, taking time to invest in informal conversations to know what is going on in their lives, and going beyond the staff agreement conditions when needed because your humanity dictates that compassion is more important.

As peers in a profession where we want to make positive change and where relationships matter, let’s choose to make compassion a value, be willing to have compassionate conversations and be prepared and courageous to take the actions that compassion demands.

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