Compassion Focused Coaching – Insights and Practical Ideas

What a joy and privilege it is to be attending this insightful, practical and at times moving eight webinar AC Signature Programme on Compassion Focused Coaching led by Dr Ashleigh McLellan.?

We’re only half-way through the programme but already picking a single topic to share with you is difficult because there is so much rich content to choose from.

But first, a recap on the application of Compassion Focused Theory (CFC) to coaching:

• Humans still have an ‘old brain’ which is on the constant lookout for threat.
• Our ‘new brain’ ability for thought and imagination in combination with our ‘old brain’ can lead us to ruminate, exaggerate and catastrophise about issues, and in turn cause us to suffer from anger, anxiety or sadness.
• CFC is about helping people address the challenges this two-brain conundrum can present (self-criticism, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, anxiety etc…), work through their suffering and move forward.

In Webinar 3 Ashleigh introduced us to the three systems of emotion regulation:

Threat System: Activates or inhibits us. It has a threat focus and its goal is protection and safety.

Drive System: Activates us. It has a resource focus (wanting*) and its goal is achieving and consuming resources. ?????????? ????????

Soothing System: Soothes us. It has an affiliative focus (not wanting). Its goal is safeness, and kindness and is a space to ‘rest and digest’.

* from survival-based resources e.g. food, shelter, energy etc… through to social resources including group inclusion, individual status, knowledge, power & influence etc…

We were reminded that:

1. We human beings evolved for scarcity, so our predisposition is to have our Threat Focus ‘always on’
2. Our new brain capacity for imagination is so powerful that our minds often cannot distinguish between real and imaginary.

We learned that as a result, there can often be a negative two-way relationship between the Threat and Drive systems, where even faintly perceived or imagined threats can rapidly trigger us into adrenalin-fuelled hyperactivity and perfectionism, or vice versa.

This is particularly true in busy, high-pressured work environments.

We also learned of the power of our Soothing system to intervene and regulate our threat alert system.

Tools to use with Clients

In the first exercise, we were asked to consider in general what tends to get our own Threat, Drive and Soothing systems online.?

In a second exercise, using the simple but powerful image of each of the three systems in bubbles*, we were asked to consider ‘where are our 3 systems at right now?’ and ‘what do I need to do to get my soothing system on-line?’

From completing these exercises, it was easy to see how transferable they are to the coaching arena.

It's helpful to share with clients a memorable image which enables them to bring conscious awareness and choice of action to their three systems.

I also noticed how I, and I think others too, sometimes deploy a ratchet-type approach as a way to down-shift from high Threat/high Drive to a calm ‘being’ state rather than switching straight from one to the other. So, for me this might look like:

Initially ??????????Busyness as a way of distracting from the threat, like tidying and cleaning (Note to friends and family: if the house is particularly clean & tidy, I’m most likely stressed!)

Then??????????????? A Soothing oriented activity, like going for a walk or working out.

And finally??????Being at rest – having a cup of tea or cuddling my cat.

The key for us and for our clients is to develop the awareness of what gets us into a Soothed state, recognising that this will be different for each of us.?

Having a range of Soothing strategies that we can use to meet the needs of the different Threat triggering situations that we encounter in work and life is key.

Getting our own Soothing Systems online before Coaching

And finally, in this webinar, we were asked how we as coaches can get our Soothing system more online before a coaching session.?This was another valuable lens through which to see CFC, i.e. as a tool to help us:

• Consciously turn down our Drive impetus so that we remain focussed on the coaching process rather than striving/pushing for outcomes
• Embody a state of non-judgement, openness, curiosity and learning as an optimal environment in which our clients can learn to do the same.

I’ll be back in November with more nuggets from this excellent AC Signature Programme.?

In the meantime, if you’d like to learn more about Compassion Focused coaching, you can check out The Compassionate Mind Foundation .

To check out the AC's upcoming webinars and Digital learning Programmes stay tuned to our LinkedIn feed or visit the AC's Upcoming Webinars Page .