Compassion = Empathy + Action

I just finished two books that could not be more different. The first, a well-known business leadership and management book, entitled Radical Candor. The second, a memoir and now movie, entitled The Greatest Beer Run Ever. Both made me think about compassionate leadership. Both also took me back to 2004.

In 2004, my longtime childhood friend from Solon, Ohio was diagnosed with melanoma. I shared in his feelings and tried to understand why. He was one of my first friends. We grew up together, we co-captained our HS soccer team together, and we dreamed and schemed together. I knew I had to do something more than care, or empathize. I had to take action.

So I founded a campaign to help him, his family and the cost of his various treatments. I committed to run the Cleveland Marathon and donate all funds raised. Our community supported it. Friends and family stepped up and contributed. I completed the marathon in April 2004.

My friend died in July 2004. At the time, I would not have been able to tell you the definition of compassion. However, I experienced it as a community rallied behind one of our own. I probably would not have been able to tell you what a compassionate leader was. However, I likely would have pointed to his university obituary, which said my friend was "considered an aggressive and focused leader of the soccer team, not just as captain, but also as a mentor to younger players."

In Radical Candor, the author defines compassion as empathy plus action. In The Greatest Beer Run Ever, a former-Marine returns to Vietnam to remind those serving from his neighborhood in New York they are appreciated and cared about (not to mention deliver some American beer). You see, the formula is magic because it goes beyond caring. It requires action. That's not to say that there is not a time and place for empathetic leadership. It is, however, to say that in whatever my experience, compassion is what I remember, and what has made a greater difference in the lives of others.

For these reasons, I love the formula, both academically and as applied. To me, any value-added advisor should strive to be a compassionate leader, lending both an ear and a hand. My friend's story ended too early. But, I now know he exemplified the formula, and for that, his story lives on.

Photo: April 25, 2004, me after completing my first marathon...for my friend.