Not for compassion – for context. #diversityandinclusion

Have you ever been so scared for your life that you feel your muscles shaking on your bones? That your heartbeat is deafening in your ears? That all that consumes you are the thoughts, ‘do I play dead and hope they don’t see me or do I try fight for my life’? Do my children remember the home / car evacuation plan if we’re attacked? I hope they remember to run and scream for help rather than do what is most natural in a fear situation – stay with Mama.

Australia is home to 193 860 South Africans according to the latest census. ?Most South Africans immigrated to Australia with hopes of a safe future for their families and a sadness for leaving their homeland; their parents, siblings, lifelong friends, communities, well-paying careers, childhood memories and ultimate sense of belonging.

This is the challenge you consciously choose for yourself when you decide to immigrate to greener pastures.

You choose your future over your past.

When you’re a South African moving to Australia, chances are – along with your hopes, excitement, sad heart and memories – you’re also immigrating with a grocery list of traumatic experiences which you grew up thinking were ‘normal’. Soon you realise they were not. You learn this when you see the sheer horror and sometimes enjoyment (here’s looking at you murder podcast fanatic ;) ) on your colleagues faces during office story time and you’re inevitably asked “so what made you move here?”

Assimilation in a new country is challenging in its own right, add to this a history of (often) unhealed trauma and you understand the “direct, serious and harsh” vibes we South Africans are known to flaunt in the workplace.

Many South Africans you speak with will share their story with you, somewhat disassociated from the emotion you would expect to see and hear when someone is reliving a violent crime. Sometimes its for your reaction, sometimes its because in South Africa what you’ve survived, you wear as a badge of honour.

“Resilience” is not something that’s sought after when hiring in South Africa – it’s a given. What I’ve learned is considered resilience here, most often stems from survival there.

Just as the mainstream Australian culture is more of a “She’ll be ‘right” over therapy culture – South Africa too is not a massive fan of therapy and vulnerability. I have heard less South African people say they’re in therapy than I can count on one hand. I’ve heard more South Africans say: “Ja, it sucks man. But its OK, at least they just robbed / shot at / hijacked / raped / assaulted me and didn’t kill me. Pause. Another beer?” than I can count cups of Melbournian latte’s I’ve enjoyed.

I share this not for compassion – but for context.

As a South African who has been in Australia for almost six years and has fully embraced trauma therapy in order to best assimilate into the beautiful Australian culture, I would consider my experiences to this point to have contributed to my post traumatic growth. I am no longer paralysed by my fear of Police or night time or walking in public or having my car windows open. I no longer innately look for a place to hide when I mistake the sound of fireworks for gunshots. I have done the work.

I share this not for compassion – but for context.

As someone who has done the work and is less triggered now, the brimming of a civil war in South Africa right now triggers me.

The voice notes and messages from my family and friends still in South Africa make my hands and my voice shake. They rip my heart to shreds.

Images and videos all over my social media make me cry and feel angry. But mostly, I feel powerless.

As I try to live my wonderful life of safety here, my mind and my heart are with those I love. Concentration is a mighty task. Emotional regulation and the commitment to seem professional is a mighty task.

Again, I have done the work. Imagine for those who have not. Imagine the buried agony, fear and rage. Imagine how this is triggering the majority.

Imagine it was your precious homeland and most of those you love, sending messages of fear and savage-like protection plans for your family.

So in the spirit of inclusivity – if you have a diverse team which includes South Africans, please consider them in this context at the moment.

Our homeland is burning to the ground. We are angry. We are scared.

Please show us your inclusivity.

If you’re interested in understanding more; read this:?https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-07-15/government-deploying-25000-troops-looting-rioting-south-africa/100295706?