Comparison is the thief of joy

While recently driving my sons to their friend’s house I was struck by a comment my older son made regarding comparing ourselves to others.

My boys are the 17 and 19 and have very different personalities, the older being more stoic and thoughtful and the younger more spontaneous and outgoing, somewhat having to do with their age difference. Lately, the boys have been pitching my husband and I about purchasing an additional car given the constant juggling for school, work, and social responsibilities. On this day the conversation between my youngest son and I went on and on with comparisons of friends and family who got this and that type of car. My older son got tired of the back and forth. He took his air pods out of his ears and said, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. The car fell silent. He doesn’t remember where he heard the quote, but thought it was appropriate to help put things into perspective. It didn’t stop my youngest from continuing to pitch his car ideas, but it did have a lingering impact on me.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” is a quote attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th president of the United States, but given the rise of social media it is even more relevant today.?

More than 10% of daily thoughts involved making a comparison of some kind according to Psychology Today research. We see one thing in a person that shows us how we would like to be, in success or in worth and make an instant assessment of comparison. Although it’s natural to compare in a world that values one thing over another, comparing what we have or what we are to others literally steals away the satisfaction we have with our own life.

I routinely compare myself to other successful salespeople, to other mothers, wives, and to other tennis players. Since my son presented Theodore Roosevelt’s quote, I find myself pausing when I am about to compare myself to someone else. I was in a tennis clinic this weekend when a younger, more skilled player was showing off her talents. Instead of grumbling to myself I tried to appreciate what she was doing and say things like “great serve” and “great point”, not only to her but to the other players on the court. I felt much more relaxed in my own play. After the clinic the young woman came up to me and said, “Great playing today.” I thought how that could be since she smoked me on so many points, “You mean great playing for someone 20 years your senior?” I said. “No,” she responded, “just great playing. You had me running from side to side all over the court, I’m exhausted.” ?Her comments just reinforced the wisdom in the quote.

If comparisons have you feeling down, spend some time thinking about positives:?how much a skill has improved over time or how much worse a situation could be than it is. Positive energy attracts success in all areas of life, including health, finances, and relationships. Great reason to stop comparing yourself to others. ?

About Me: I'm a customer interactions professional who writes about insights and strategies that drive customer value and loyalty and sometimes I just write about things that I like or inspire me. For over 25 years I’ve been collaborating with organizations to deliver global outsourced solutions that optimize their customer support operations and help build their brand. If you would like to contact me connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/annettetimmins?