Comparison Is the Theif Of Joy

Comparison is the thief of joy," posits Theodore Roosevelt, a central mindset posture I practice to grow.

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"Comparison is the thief of joy" simulcasts

the value of positive self-image, our freedom to monitor self-talk to better

align with actionable goals, and our daily opportunity to accept ourselves with

grace and to view our situation with a positive and proactive mindset.?It

also challenges us to redact negative self-talk and adverse comparing ourselves

to others' outcomes. When we instead accept ourselves as we are, we are better

positioned to celebrate the wins and accomplishments of others and view them as

models of our future achievements.?Our thoughts about ourselves drive our

behaviors and are reinforced by the responses of the people surrounding

us.?This, in turn, correlates to our response to this feedback, which closes

the circle and impacts our self-image. Conversely, self-esteem warehouses our

skills, abilities, successes, and failures as caches of strategies, strengths,

and values that equip us with confidence to meet the expectations of tasks and

enjoy well-lived and happy lives.

???????????I experienced difficulty meeting my family's expectations and

learning as a child.?Mine was always the foot that hit the table,

knocked over the heirloom vase, or tripped my mother's hair-trigger

temper.?The words said to me, about me, and over me were often hostile.?My

tedious and tireless efforts to get it right most often failed. I always knew

that I was different, not in a good way. I was described as clumsy, heavy-boned,

manly, and like a wasp, ready to sting.?As a little girl, I had little respect for

myself and a dismal self-image for the first two decades.?Negative

self-talk galloped through my mind as a herd of wild horses,

and I was often sad and lonely. Like a captured, wild horse, I was broke.

The adverse impacts of my childhood experiences broke pieces of me.

???????????I did not know when I left for college; it was as much an

escape as an opportunity.?I remember sitting in one of my favorite

classes.?Our professor passed back graded papers, and I was horrified to

see a big, red X slashed across my cover sheet.?My self-esteem launched

its first satellite when I read the teacher's comment on the X'd page.?It

read, "You are not a 'broken vase,' you are a brilliant, critical thinker

and priceless work of living art." His words liberated me and began a

reconstruction of my self-image and drive.?The University of Virginia was

the first place I felt like I belonged.?I learned I was intelligent and

capable.?I met expectations and discovered the comforts of a community of

like-minded people. These positive advantages grew my self-respect and directed choices for future successful results.

???????????Today I benefit from these experiences and have matured into

someone certain about their strengths.?I value my positive traits and leverage

them as resources to serve a purpose or better the situation

of others.?Over time and with training, I have deleted the

negative soundtrack that used to play in 24/7 surround sound in my

mind. I've built mind hacks like Venus fly traps to catch those noisome flies and

uploaded songs, affirmations, and positive reframes to keep my self-talk

safe, clear, and clean.?I am happy, surrounded by people and resources

that help me rebuild my self-esteem, like constellation consultants.

???????????It was a significant consultation that directed my assessments

and diagnosis of autism.?Although many adults diagnosed later in life

with ASD have considerable difficulty processing their condition, it was a

long-awaited epiphany and unevenly reviewed release for me over time.

???????????This release also freed me to value myself and how I am made

authentically and for the first time.?My diagnosis filled in more blanks than

an MCAT practice book.?It provided a scaffold to build my self-esteem

with support and context.?It freed me to let loose my creativity and

approach tasks in fun ways that others appreciate.?It renovated my sense of

personal value and encouraged me to hone my sense of humor.?Of course, I

still make many mistakes.?I am a walking technology error, always most

likely to send a message intended for another to the wrong party or use

"xoxoxo" as the complimentary close of in a business letter instead of

'Sincerely, because I use so many xos in most other communications. My

self-acceptance allows me to giggle at myself in these moments because glitches like these are distinctive aspects of my process that happen as routinely as I brush my teeth.?This positive lens helps me accept my relative challenges with a

positive attitude.

???????????Roosevelt emphasized that our attitudes significantly impact our joy.

Likewise, our mindsets infiltrate our self-image, direct our self-talk, and blaze

our decision pathways. You are a priceless piece of living art, frieND.