The Comparison Game: Am I Good Enough?

Running a small business is hard enough, but what if you are your own worst critic? In 2018 I wrote this article to discuss the self inflicted insecurities and criticism while running my stationery company Nat's Paper Studio. Looking back on this post it's still relevant for both my businesses, however I feel I have grown in understanding my own abilities to a greater extent in the current climate.

Am I good enough? A question I seem to ask myself on a regular basis. Am I good enough to do this, to make it work, to make a decent income? Am I good enough in comparison to this company or that company or these wonderful companies I have spent months stalking on Instagram. Will people like me, like my style, get my art direction, understand my work? The list goes on and the daily struggle continues.

The nagging thoughts that swim around my head have become part of my daily routine. These moments of self doubt come and go as I tackle workload, organise our wedding, frantically Instagram new creative and handle general life admin. The highs come with lows and the constant reassurance that I need to give myself to ‘keep calm and carry on’ seems to increase with every order that I receive. But what I constantly remind my inner voice is that I LOVE what I do. I am fortunate to work with so many talented people, have wonderful clients, be part of an industry that makes me warm and fuzzy inside and be involved in a community of like minded people where we help each other to grow our businesses. These things are not common practice, they don’t happen in every industry and definitely don’t occur with every job, which is why I tell myself to concentrate on my passion and carry on.

Imposter Syndrome

I recently dipped in and out of an Instagram the March Meet the Maker challenge (#marchmeetthemaker) and realised that I’m not alone in my thoughts and worries. The very talented creator of the challenge, Joanne Hawker, detailed her anxiety about the same issues in Day 30’s ‘Top tip / advice’ post:

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bg8GwHSnaY9/?taken-by=joannehawker

Reading this I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I couldn’t have said it better myself! A true ‘hurrah’ moment where I realised I’m not alone in these thoughts of doubt and self criticism, that it’s important not to dwell on the negatives, and overcome the feeling that we aren’t good enough. In Joanne’s post she also makes reference to?Holly Tucker, another super creative, highly successful lady – you may not have heard of her, but you will have heard of and most likely used her company,?Not On the High Street?– who calls the feeling “The Imposter Syndrome”.

The role of social media

So I now realise that I’m not alone, but has social media made me and many others like this?

I have a love / hate relationship with social media from a business perspective. I LOVE that it’s a free tool that allows your work to reach a worldwide audience that quite frankly, no money could buy. I love that I am able to create something beautiful, connect with customers, find a never ending source of inspiration and be part of a community of like minded individuals. But I hate that it’s so time consuming, it’s hard to create a unique look and feel, difficult to stand out in a crowd of marvellous creatives with thousands of followers and it’s impossible not to compare yourself to others while scrolling through their perfect accounts. In saying this social media does, once in a while, serve you up a little snippet of something real – a personal insight that once again brings a sense of reassurance.

Realising you are good enough

Although I could quite easily play the blame game with social media, I know it’s my own mindset that I need to change. I need to realise that I am worthwhile, I am good enough and I do put in the hard work that’s vital to be successful. Although I might not be the best, I will be my best self. Bearing this in mind I will strive to create work that brings joy to someone’s special day without worrying about my own insecurities. I’ll help others, as they have helped me, and be part of a community, not be the competition. And I will continue to further myself in any way possible, to push forward to reach my goals. At the end of the day you can be your own worst enemy, but the importance of realising it and nipping it in the bud is invaluable. To quote the end of?Joanne’s post?–?“Together, let’s put down this demon, remind people they are not alone and remind ourselves daily that we ARE good enough. Whose with me?”

Originally written for To Work or Play in 2018