Companionship As We Age.

Next to love, friendship, in my opinion, is the most valuable thing life has to offer.” – Henry Miller

Dear Investors & Friends:

Welcome to this week’s edition of the SundayReads.

Today is Friendship Day!

My question is: Is friendship important for our survival?

I recently had the pleasure of hearing the remarkable life of my friend Faisal Gandhi's 76-year-old mother. Her vivacious spirit and boundless joy serve as a beautiful reminder of the profound impact that friendships can have, regardless of age. It's heartwarming to see her calendar brimming with monthly dinners, holiday parties, and getaways with friends and neighbours. Her social life is a testament to the fact that friendships not only provide fun and companionship but also play a crucial role in nurturing our health and soul.

Of course, forging new friendships during your golden years may require a little extra effort. As you get older, common life changes such as the loss of a spouse, loss of hearing or vision, retirement, and issues with health and mobility can take their toll on your social life and, by extension, your well-being. Loneliness has been linked to a higher risk of cognitive decline, dementia and depression. It also has been linked to heart disease, stroke and blood pressure. In fact, one 2015 study famously concluded that a lack of social connections was as damaging to a person’s health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Bottom line? Friends are essential.

Loneliness is a real epidemic. Loneliness for me is about feeling disconnected in a much more existential state; about feeling that you’re not cared for; that you’re not supported by your family. . I have had first hand experience of my mother slipping into loneliness and depression after my dad was no more. It took us a lot of time and encouragement for her to develop new relationships and have a social life.

?I would argue that we need to redefine support networks for the 21st century so that friendship networks are viewed as meaningful as ones where we have blood ties.

As a retirement specialist, I passionately advocate for my retiring clients to cultivate meaningful and healthy friendships that go beyond mere companions to share a drink with. The essence of our lives hinges, to a great extent, on the company we choose to keep. Supportive, caring, and humorous friends and partners enrich our journey through life. The thought of old age often evokes fear of losing the ability to make new friends, but the truth is, if one possesses the gift of forging connections, it remains undiminished no matter how old one grows. Nurturing friendships take effort at any age. To keep yours in good order, it helps to make socializing part of your routine. My 70-year old uncle, for example, regularly texts or calls friends to say he’s thinking about them. He’s also a big fan of setting up the next get-together when he’s on the first one and believes in establishing standing dates.

In my eyes, friendship ranks next to love as the most precious offering life bestows upon us. Its intangible yet profound impact on our mood and well-being cannot be understated. And for elderly couples, this sentiment becomes even more crucial. As they navigate the challenges of aging, one partner will inevitably precede the other in departing from this world. In those moments of loss and loneliness, a robust network of friends can provide the anchor that helps us weather the storm and find the strength to carry on.

The value of friendship may be elusive and difficult to grasp, but its benefits ripple through every aspect of our existence. It becomes a lifeline that weaves connections between souls, providing solace and comfort during the twilight years. I often urge my retiring clients to cherish and nurture their friendships, for in the tapestry of life, it is the bonds we form with others that give our journey its true meaning and richness

Socializing is also a top priority for my friend Ashwini. After retiring early, friends have become her main source of support. She regularly has lunch or dinner with people from her old job and occasionally vacations with a close friend or two. “Even though I depend a lot on myself,” she says, “sometimes I do need that friend to call me up and tell me to get my behind up and go outside, to be more active.” I follow this too. For instance, I have lunch with a friend from high school every three months, ?five times a year attend movie shows with my girl gang and I plan one vacation a year with my friends.

The benefits of fostering friendships in our golden years are not limited to emotional support alone. The companionship of friends also serves as a catalyst for remaining active and engaged in life. They beckon us outside, encouraging us to savour the beauty of the world and seize every moment with zest. They become our partners in adventure, breathing vitality into our days and infusing our hearts with newfound purpose.

As my friend Rajiv says, You know, I think if you’ve got one good friend in your life, you’re a blessed person,” he adds. “Because that person will be with you through thick and thin. They’ll say, ‘I’ll be there for you.’”

Friendship is more than just being there for your friends. Being a great friend means that you let your friends be there for you.

We all will be moving towards our golden years. As we embrace the enigmatic beauty of aging, let us never underestimate the significance of friendships in shaping our happiness and well-being. Through shared laughter, tears, and memories, these cherished bonds become the bedrock on which we build a life filled with meaning and fulfillment. So, let us cherish our friends, old and new, and celebrate the gift of friendship as we continue on this remarkable journey together.

Happy Friendship Day To You!

With Warmth & Affection

Kavita Bothra