COMMUNITY

Picture a 4-hour trek across Oregon through the mountains and open-sky sunsets. On the other side, imagine an evening with ten coaches and about 50 athletes talking, sharing, and working together to establish a mindset of continuous learning. Then, repeat this experience four more times throughout the year! That is what I had the great pleasure of doing at Pilot Rock High School in eastern Oregon this past year. A place that reminded me of what the word "community" means.

I was often reminded of my own childhood. I grew up in a rural community in eastern South Dakota, a place very similar to Pilot Rock. It was a place where families knew each other and looked out for each other’s kids, an existence with a strong sense of accountability. People were outside talking with their neighbors rather than retreating to their back decks to avoid social interaction.

I think most of us desire the sense of community that existed generations ago. Our migration to suburbia and urban settings has led us to be fearful of so many things. Maybe that fear is justified, and maybe it has multiplied because we don’t know the people who live around us. When I walk down a street in suburbia, I am amazed at how few people lift their eyes to acknowledge my presence. When I say hello first (which is my thing), very few reciprocate. It takes very little effort to connect, yet it seems to have become a rarity in our modern lives. We have lost the human connection that a community should embody.

Are we too busy to say hello? Are we too self-involved to make eye contact? Are we too afraid to start a conversation? Whatever the reason for our lack of connections, it is important to recognize that true communities still exist. I found one at Pilot Rock. The absence of these simple acknowledgments has led us to be fearful of people we don’t know. It is difficult to have a true debate or conversation with people we don’t know or care to know. Somewhere on Maslow’s list is the word "belonging." Everyone wants to belong to something bigger than themselves.

How did we get here?

What is the endgame of a society that fails to acknowledge our differences of opinion? I am not sure, but I do know that it will not be enjoyable for many of us.

Change begins with a few people altering the social norms of their community. This is something we all have the power to do. It is much easier to keep our eyes down and listen to our iPod. But there is a better way.

Here are just a few methods to rekindle that sense of community from my youth. Perhaps I am na?ve, and we are too far gone to build such communities again. Nay, I say! Let’s try a few simple things and see what happens. It is amazing how easily we can make these changes toward stronger communities. Here are a few thoughts:

1. Purposely talk to the checkout person when you are getting groceries.
2. Look up and smile at someone walking down your street.
3. Attend a neighborhood barbecue and get to know the people who live on your block.
4. Try not to convince someone why they are wrong; instead, listen to their point of view. Understanding is often the first step toward building a relationship.
5. Read a book, an article, or a newspaper that may challenge your current belief system.? When we open our eyes to new thoughts, we grow.

Can you do any of those? I think we all could.

I know a smile comes to my face when I can connect with people, especially people I don’t know. We have so many things in common even though we look different, have different jobs, and live different realities. My treks this year have reminded me that there are good people everywhere.

Maybe it is time to get out of your self-imposed bubble and interact with people. The payoff may be a stronger community. At a minimum, you will know that you are doing your part to improve your corner of the world.